Alias Recap & Spoilers: “I See Dead People” (May 10, 2006)

Vaughn is back and Julie & I are happy. If you missed last night’s Alias, then you should thank Julie for writing such a kickass recap. Show her the love people!!!!

Alias: “I See Dead People”
Original Airdate: May 10, 2006

We open on scenes of Renee’s autopsy, intercut with Nadia’s funeral. We hear Syd giving the eulogy, talking of how she gained a sister and a friend in Nadia, who taught her the meaning of family. The autopsy reveals that Renee gained a little something along the way – a computer chip, which a doctor retrieves from her body. After the eulogy, talking with Dixon, Syd blames herself for trusting Sloane and promises never to do it again.

Sloane, meanwhile, is holed up in a study somewhere working on decoding Page 47, which contains the key to Rambaldi’s endgame. Peyton impatiently comes in, wondering when they can expect some results. Sloane brushes her off, but she questions his dedication under the circumstances. *Cough* killing Nadia *cough*. He promises: “No one will stand between me and the fulfillment of Rambaldi’s ultimate vision. No one.” Sloane’s kinda scary when he’s obsessive.

Jack and Tom get briefed by Marshall about the chip found inside Renee. The chip is 30 years old, and contains coded algorithms, which aren’t complete, so Marshall can’t decode them. They discover something that alarms them, and as they say Syd must be told, we just see someone listening to their conversation over a computer and headphones. Sketchy!

At home, Syd has bigger issues to deal with — like a cranky Isabelle who can’t seem to fall asleep. Jack comes by and tells Syd that Vaughn’s real name (Andre Michaux) was etched on the exterior of the chip. Marshall believes the chip was implanted in Renee 30 years ago – before Vaughn and Renee knew each other, but back when their fathers worked together. It’s kinda implausible, Syd suggests, but Jack says “it’s the most likely presumption”. Me, I’m thinking Renee ingesting it in a hot dog eating contest is more likely. Either way, they decide they need to contact Vaughn, who may have an idea what the chip is about. Syd decides to bring Vaughn the chip herself.

Of course, Peyton and Sloane are listening when Dixon discusses Syd’s plans to go to Nepal to see Vaughn. They decide to have their own agent intercept Syd, and bring her in so she can get some special help from Sloane. “You remember Anna Espinosa?” Peyton asks, as Evil Twin Anna walks in, looking just like Syd, only with the surly, insolent air of a teenager who just got a forbidden piercing.

Tom is decoding a message in a newspaper (“contact made – awaiting response”) when Rachel pops by with her typical inane chatter about movies. She’s having issues about being duped by fellow agents – first Gordon Dean, then Sloane. Tom gives her the obligatory pep talk, and she’s on her way in time for him to call to place an ad in the classifieds. Is it me, or are their storylines totally superfluous now?

Meanwhile, Evil Twin Anna is chatting with Sloane, inasmuch as a violent psychopath can make small talk. They calmly tear each other down, claiming the other is motivated by the wrong things — faith (Sloane), greed (Anna). After Sloane gives her a final diss, saying she’s dispensable (buuurn), Anna makes a grand exit, sweeping through the study doors. Suddenly, Nadia appears to Sloane, telling him that he’s the one who’s really dispensable. When your dead daughter gives you a hallucinatory smackdown, that’s gotta hurt. It’s also got to indicate that you might not be the poster boy for sanity, but we already knew that about old Sloane.

Nepal’s busiest dirt airport. Evil Syd arrives, knocks out the friendly man Vaughn sent to meet her (poor sweet Nabin), and sets the real Syd up with a contact of her own. Have to say, evil flair doesn’t look so attractive on Syd. Real Syd, wearing a giddy smile, is just so much prettier.

Marshall’s on the phone at APO having an unpleasant customer service experience when he hears a clicking noise. He rushes to Jack, under the ever-so-believable pretense of them being out of coffee, to let him know they’ve been bugged. Marshall figured out Sloane put APO on some kind of surveillance mode – Prophet Five has been monitoring all conversations in APO for the past 24 hours. Not good.

Jack calls Syd to warn her she may have been compromised. Just in time, too – Syd knocks out her fake contact, drives by a car that opens fire on her, and proceeds to roll her car down a hill. Smooth, Bristow. She lands, disoriented and trapped in the car, when who should walk up but her Evil Twin Anna, who takes just a little too much glee in stealing the chip from Syd’s bag, informing her that she slit Renee’s throat, and telling Syd she’s got “a date” with Vaughn. She then lights Syd’s ride on fire as Syd tries desperately to extricate herself. Whooo….ice bitch. Light a girl on fire, sure, but don’t go after her man.

ETA arrives at the monastery. We see Vaughn come out of the dim light, working the stubble and the “debonair” cane, looking all kinds of fine. He hobbles over, and they hug and kiss and do the whole I-missed-you-what’d-you-name-our-daughter-I-thought-I’d-never-see-you-again thing. Can’t he tell she’s evil? This is just like when Riley didn’t know Faith was in Buffy’s body! The twerp! I’ll forgive Vaughn, since he’s been a bit incapacitated for a while, but he better not get past second base without knowing ETA ain’t his woman. They keep hugging as real Syd drags herself from the burning wreckage of the car.

Sloane exposits to Peyton that he needs a copy of “the Pinara manuscript” in order to decipher Page 47. She scurries off to get it like the good little gopher she is. Nadia, ravishing even as a poltergeist, appears to Sloane again, asking when Prophet Five will discover that he already knows what the manuscript says. She taunts him, showing him her bloody neck, mocking his belief that he was chosen by Rambaldi. Undeterred, he asks why she’s here. Nadia claims she’s here because he wants her here. Now he can have his daughter and follow Rambaldi too! It’s a win-win!

Vaughn and ETA talk by firelight. He looks at the chip, but doesn’t have an idea how to decode it, until ETA explains it was inside Renee’s body. A lightbulb goes on in Vaughn’s head…he’s had a small scar on his chest since childhood, from an “accident” he can’t remember. Maybe the second half of the chip is in his body? As he pulls aside his shirt to show ETA the scar, she gives him a look like he’s the big piece of cake and she’s very hungry. (The evilness of the look is the only thing that differentiates it from the look that most women viewers are giving Michael Vartan now.)

Syd calls Jack to let him know what happened. When Syd tells him she’s been doubled, he gets a look on his face like he just ate some bad clams. Good expressions across the board tonight!

ETA busts out the scalpel and works on retrieving the chip from Vaughn’s body. She’s real torn up about having to cut into him. Ohhh, the compassion. After she yanks it out of his body, no surprises, it’s a perfect fit with Renee’s chip. It reveals the plans for some nuclear fallout shelter in Hamburg, Germany. ETA and Vaughn arrange for transport to take them there. Their helicopter whisks them away just as Syd drives up. Bummer.

Back at APO, Jack tells the team that Vaughn is alive. Marshall: “I knew it!” Hee. Unfortunately, he informs them, Prophet Five managed to get to Vaughn first. They have a photo of Vaughn and Evil Twin Anna in Hamburg. Cut to Vaughn and ETA, plotting how to get into the bunker, which is now below a jewelry store. He says they should follow the plan they did in Cartagena, and they head inside the store. After ETA points out a ring that’s clearly kinda fugly – figures she’d have bad taste – they take the store clerk hostage to get his keys, and Vaughn heads downstairs. He’s in the bunker, looking over desks full of papers and walls covered in pictures, when ETA comes in, pointing a gun at him. Vaughn, here’s where you say, “Whatever I did, honey, I’m sorry. What can I do to make it better? Let me go get you some ice cream.”

Vaughn had a better idea earlier, it looks like, because he removed the clip from ETA’s gun and when she fires it’s empty. “Sydney and I never went to Cartagena.” he tells her, in a voice that’s very “Francie doesn’t like coffee ice cream.” Awesome. They throw down, exchanging retorts. (Vaughn: “just for the record, you’re a terrible kisser.” Anna: “I always said Sydney was too good for you.”) Anna gets control of a gun, and as she bears down on Vaughn, she gets shot from behind, numerous times, including one right between the eyes. It’s real Syd! She and Vaughn both get the ‘you’re cake’ look and almost immediately commence macking on each other, which is surprisingly hot and non-awkward considering the actors’ history. It’s everything the Fake Syd-Vaughn reunion wasn’t.

Peyton arrives to get the Pinara manuscript. When she leaves, the bookseller calls someone to report that Sloane’s trying to make contact. When Peyton brings Sloane the manuscript, he admits he needs to make peace with Nadia’s death before he can move on. He then goes to church and lights a few candles at an altar. Not sure a few candles is going to cut it, buddy. As he leaves, who should arrive but British blondie bear #2 – Sark! He picks up a message Sloane left surreptitiously. Guess that’s who Sark was trying to make contact with earlier.

Back in the bunker, Syd and Vaughn look through the documents, which appear to belong to Vaughn’s father, and reveal enough about Prophet Five that they could take them down. ETA’s phone rings and Syd answers it to discover Peyton and crew are on their way for an extraction. Syd has to go, and Vaughn can’t come with her – APO is too dangerous right now. They have to split up again, and it sucks about as much as you’d expect. I think they were both hoping to get some.

Outside, Syd gets into Peyton’s waiting car. Pretending to be ETA, Syd tells Peyton the real Syd is dead, then gives her Renee’s half of the chip. It’s kinda funny watching good Syd pretend to be evil. Imagine if good Syd had to pretend to be Evil Twin Anna pretending to be good Syd. I’m imagining it, and that sound you just heard? My mind getting blown.

Next time: Syd goes deep undercover and Sloane gets more evil. Hah, like that’s news. I’d be more interested in a promo that had Sloane having a tea party with a group of little china dolls. Actually, given that Sloane seems to have bought a one-way ticket to Complete Mental Breakdown City, USA, I’m thinking that’s not completely out of the question.

Julie is part of the GMMR team, but she has her own site as well. Check out TV and Sympathy for more of her great writing. If you liked her recap, leave a comment and her known.