“Live” American Idol Season Finale Blogging – WINNER ANNOUNCED

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Who Won American Idol Season 7?

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The following entry is the AMERICAN IDOL Season 5 finale live blog.

I had planned on live blogging tonight’s season finale of American Idol, but it’s a little tough when I get home 20 minutes after the show started. I’m going to to my best to catch up. Meanwhile, I’ll publish the blog every few minutes, even though I will probably be a bit behind the show.

Update: It’s 9:15pm and I am all caught up with the live show.

The show opens with last year’s Idol Carrie Underwood, she is joined on stage and in song by tonight’s finalists, Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee. All dressed in white, the Top 10 American Idols join in on the tune, and it’s a site to be seen. I forgot about half these people.

The judges are introduced via mini movies which don’t, thankfully, feature Simon and Paula making out. Whew!! Well, there’s 2 hours to go so you never know.

Per usual, we’ve got “celebrity” correspondents in the finalist’s home town. In Birmingham, Alabama we have the O’Donohue twins, Jessie & Becky. Um, Jessie didn’t even make it to Idol so why the hell does she get this gig? Oh, hot twins…I get it.

And kickin’ it at Universal Studios in LA is Season One contestant Tamyra Gray. Tam is getting all the scoop from Katharine’s hometown of LA.

On to the music….

Paris is looking adorbable signing “Where in this love together” and is soon joined by Al Jarreau on stage. He’s wearing one those hats that the kid wears in Fat Albert, but they are great together. Paris is so damn talented. I really think had she sung this well every week, she would have made it further in the competition.

Chris Daughtry is up next and he’s singing along with his favorite band, Live. Take that Fuel. Aw, Live’s lead guy and Chris are both bald…do you think they planned that? And they also do the same dance moves – in unison. Um, that’s kind of weird.

Rather than force us to listen to her sing, Kellie Pickler is introduced in a little movie called “Puck and Pickler”. World famous chef, Wolfgang Puck is teaching Kellie about gourmet food. She is an idiot…we know it…will her shtick ever end? And again, her haircut sucks.

Meatloaf? Seriously, Meatloaf? Best. American. Idol. Finale. Ever. Dude, I love this guy. His voice is amazing, and no I’m not kidding. Loaf and Kat sing a little duet of “It’s all coming back to me now”. Ok, Meatloaf is making me a liar, because he isn’t starting off that well. I saw him on TV in a concert just 2 weeks ago and he was incredible. I’m wrong. This duet bites. Kat sounds really good, but the arrangement and Meatloaf are bringing her down. Can’t this girl catch a break? Ahhh… Meatloaf was totally just staring at the McBoobs. Never underestimate the power of McPhee’s boobs.

I love the celebs in the audience tonight. David Boreanez and his son are too cute for words.

Ryan informs us that it’s time for the first ever Golden Idol awards. Basically this is when they once again humliate former Idol auditioners. I can’t believe people agree to appear on camera and participate. Anything for a little TV exposure right? But wait, we get to see Crystal Parizanksy!!! Remember her? She was that fake ‘n bake blonde who wore a ton of makeup and was as vapid and worthless as Paris Hilton. You know you are bad if Paula is laughing in your face.

And the Golden Idol for outstanding female vocal goes to…. Princess Brewer. Princess was some chick who compared herself to Aretha Franklin, and frankly made our ears bleed. I guess she has some self respect because she refused to show up to accept the award.

Oh damn, the awards are continuing with Outstanding Male Vocal. The nominees are three more hideous singers, but this time they are kind of creepy. Especially Dave Hoover who was that crazy, jumping guy that annoyed everyone but still got an invite to Hollywood.

The Golden Idol for Outstanding Male Vocal goes to…(please not Dave Hoover, please not Dave Hoover)…DAVE HOOVER. He jumps on stage, and immediately falls off. They cut to a commercial, and I’m not sure it was planned.

The Puck and Pickler segment continues, and I continue to hate Kellie Pickler more and more.

It’s the boys turn to do a little ditty. Ace, Chris, Bucky, Elliott, and Kevin rock it out in all black. I want to start singing “one of these things is not like the other”. Chicken Little is SO out of his element tonight. Daughtry continues to get the loudest applause every time he shows up on stage. Taylor joins the boys on the harmonica….God I love it!!! The boys in black make their way into the audience and on the stage behind the judges. This is fun…am I a dork for loving it? Yeah, probably.

This is the most entertaing finale to date, I will say that. The musical numbers aren’t that cheesy. I mean they are cheesy, but compared to years past, it’s not that bad.

Time to give away some cars…Kat and Taylor both get Ford Mustang convertibles. Nice!!!

We are back to the Golden Idols. This time it’s for proudest family moment. Will it be Elliott’s mom crying during his hometown parade? Papa McPhee crying…every week? Chris’s wife Deanna during his first audition? I used to think she was a bit crazy, but now that I love her husband so much, I kind of love her (but not enough to pass on a one night stand with her husband if given the chance).

And the Golden Idol goes to….Elliott’s mom. Aw!! She’s going to put it in her bed with her. Not touching that one.

Elliott Yamin is up next with U2’s “One”. Great song…and oh snap, Mary J. Blige is there!!! AWESOME!!! I thought Elliott should have rocked out a little Mary J. during Billboard week. A note to my friend Jess, don’t you think Elliott looks a little like Doc Murph with that hair cut? For some reason the hair is totally making me think of Ryan…aw, I miss him. Ok, sorry…Elliott and Mary J were incredible.

Carrie Underwood is back with another tune. Sorry, but she is better than ALL of this year’s American Idol women. The girl is gorgeous. That skin, that hair…damn. I’m not sure of the song she is singing, but it’s very country and I like it.

The Randy Jackson Award for Public Speaking goes to Rhonetta Johnson. WOW, Glitterati Gossip is so timely. Rhonetta is still a trashy prostitue on crack. Rhonetta is “working” tonight, but she pre-taped a profanity filled acceptance speech.

Taylor Hicks is up. I have no idea who he is going to be dueting with tonight. He’s singing “In the Ghetto”, so I’m hoping that he’s going to sing with Cartman. How awesome would that be? Cartman and Taylor Hicks…now that would go down as the biggest TV moment of the year. Ugh, Toni Braxton joins him instead. Is this 1996? She is so over, and she doesn’t even sound that good. Taylor on the other hands sounds great. Toni grabs him and makes him hug her and he looks so uncomfortable. Taylor’s parents politely clap along. You think they are estranged? Where have they been all season?

It’s time for the Idol girls to get down. Kat, Mandiva, Kellie, Paris, Lisa, and Melissa are wearing all black – they so match the boys tonight. Paris continues to draw all attention to her, even when it’s not her intention. She’s has such a great stage presence, she just can’t help it. Kat leads the group in a rendition of “Natural Woman”… a song that should have been retired from the Idol songbook after Kelly Clarkson’s performance in the first season. I know Kelly is not going to be here, but I wish she were…I still love her. Nice job ladies, but just like the rest of this season, you couldn’t hold a candle to the boys.

Another Golden Idol (ok this is getting old). An award for best impersonation. I feel kind of bad because I think all of the nominees might be a little mentally challenged. The award goes to that weird guy that had to pee and looked like a really, really ugly version of Clay Aiken.

I’m hoping this means the real Clay Aiken is up next. YAY!!! Clay!!! I am so excited!! Honestly!!! Dude, when did Clay become a girl? His hair looks really, really bad but his voice is awesome. And OMG that retarted Clay is trying to sing a duet with him. Ryan eventually pulls him off stage but not before he ruins most of the song. That guy totally runied my Clay-moment. I hate you!!!

The movers just called to get details on my move next week…how could I tell him that I couldn’t talk because I was live blogging American Idol. Thankfully he was quick.

Burt Bacharach is going to playing along while the American Idols sing along. Taylor starts off “What the World Needs Now”, and he sounds incredible. Kat joins him and she looks and sounds beautiful. Ace & Melissa sing what I think is “the look, the feel of cotton” song. Can I just say that I have $20 on Melissa being knocked up by an Idol groupie before the end of tour. She has thay whore-y look to her. She would definitely bang some guy in a back alley.

Pickler sings a little tune, and Bucky comes in with “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head”. No, I’m not joking. Hmmm. That’s all I can say…hmmm. Mandiva and friends join in on “Say a Little Prayer”, and she sounds great. Too bad she hates the gays, or I might actually like her. Kidding. Lisa Tucker has HORRIBLE makeup and cheesey jewelry. Didn’t she wear that same dress to the Harbor prom on The OC? Elliott is classy, and he sings the Idol classic “A House is Not a Home” and this white boy does it justice.

Sweet Jesus…Kevin “Chicken Little” Covais is singing “Pussycat” by Tom Jones. I am so creeped out right now. Ew! Ew! Ew!

Chris Daughtry in a tux literally takes my breath away. I don’t know what he sang because I was too busy staring. Can I just say that Paris Bennett is definitely getting the most attention of any contestant.

Dionne Warwick takes the stage with “Walk on By”. Dionne, how’s Whitney these days? Dionne’s voice is very delicate but very pretty at the same time. All the Idols join her in a rendition of “That’s What Friends are For”. Dude, where is Stevie, Elton and Gladys. They all previously appeared on Idol and I can’t imagine that they are above it for the finale.

The last Golden Idol Award (thank god) is for Best Male Bonding. In a crazy homoerotic montage it’s Chris/Ace, Ryan/Taylor, and the Brokenote Mountain Boys from the Hollywood auditions. Aw, remember Garette the little cowboy guy who had never left his hometown? These guys definitely have it in the bag. The cowboys get to sing…ha ha. Love it!!!

Just as Ryan annouces that all the guest performers have come and gone, the world’s sexiest vegetarian, Prince, takes the stage for a number. Looks like he did sell out after all. I’ve never been a huge fan of Prince, so I’m not crazy excited. Now if you had given me a Daughtry/Aiken duet, that something’s that would have excited me (and probably Clay too).

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…in possible the best moment of the night, Seacrest walks over to the main stage to introduce Prince, but as he approaches Prince turns around and abruptly leaves the stage. Ha ha ha ha. I have tears in my eyes right now.

We’ve got 7 minutes left in the show, which means Ryan is just about to announce the 2006 American Idol winner. You figure there needs to be some reaction time, and then the new single. Get to it, I don’t want the show to be cut off my my TiVo.

Ok, we are back…

The moment we have all beein waiting for. But first, Taylor and Kat have to sing a little “Time of My Life”. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Katharine and Taylor kind of screw up the song a bit, but they are both having a blast so show cares, right? In hindsight they butchered it, but it’s over so it really doesn’t matter.

Ok, it’s time people…..the moment of truth!!!

Drumroll please…

Your next American Idol is TAYLOR HICKS!!!!!!!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!

I gotta say that this was moment was very anticlimactic. No streamers, no balloons, no tears (except from me). Ok, here come the firworks…’bout time. The gray haired guy who Simon passed on in his first audition just won American Idol. Congrats Taylor Hicks!!! SOUL PATROL!!!

See ya next year American Idol…you will be missed!!!

GMMR OUT