Rescue Me Recap (Torture)

Did you miss last night’s Rescue Me? I personally can’t wait to go home at lunch to watch it. As always, the fabulous Julie has recapped last night’s episode for anyone who might have missed it.

Rescue Me – “Torture”
June 13, 2006

The episode may be called Torture, but watching this show is anything but that.

Lou’s sick in the bathroom when the Chief interrupts him, asking if he can borrow that couple hundred bucks he asked about. Lou says he doesn’t have it, and gets downright belligerent when pressed. He storms out.

Tommy sneaks a cigarette outside when Sean comes up. Tommy starts asking him when they’re going to meet his girlfriend. Sean waffles, changing the subject to the previous night’s fight. “That was some brouhaha. I mean not ‘ha-ha, funny’ just sort-of-actually it wasn’t funny at all, it was just sickening, kind of.” Tommy explains how kicking ass is how the Irish resolve things. Sean continues squirming as he exits.

Franco wakes up at Mrs. Sarandon’s. Give us her name, people! When Franco says he has to get home to his daughter, she’s not freaked out at all. She actually wants to meet Keela.

Chief does laundry with the adulterous former surgeon Ellis Grey (wait…that’s another show…here she’s Rose). They discuss how he’s planning to ask his wife’s estranged brother for money to help out with the expenses.

Tommy meets with Mrs. Turbody at a bar to encourage her to break it off with Damian. She saucily tells him, “Well, if I end that thing, I’m gonna need another thing to take that thing’s place.” Now, Mrs. Turbody, if you’re old enough to do big-girl activities, you’re old enough to use big-girl words. Tommy understands nonetheless, and they quickly arrive at her place, where they frantically get busy. Tommy is a little…overstimulated? Overeager? Regressing to teenage boyhood? Let’s just say he finishes quickly, and Mrs. Turbody warns him he better pick up the pace if he wants to be with her. She’s expecting another go-round. Tommy: “I might need a sandwich.”

Probie Mike calls his mom to ask how old he is. Really. He reminds me of a cat I had once. Total sweetheart, dumb as a post. Mike’s filling out a transfer form. Ruh-roh! Later on, we see him back and the station failing to get the guts to turn it in.

Outside a club, Franco spots Lou, pissing into a bush, stumbling drunk and surly. Lou manages to pour himself into a cab and departs.

Johnny’s in bed recuperating from his beatdown when Katie comes in to talk. She’s wary, but he explains to her it was just stupid brother stuff: “If he hadn’t reacted the way he’d reacted, then I’d definitely think there was something seriously wrong with him.” Sounds like that Gavin family is nine kinds of mental. Nevertheless, Johnny tells Katie her dad still loves her, and he loves her too.

Chief stops by his brother-in-law’s car dealership to beg for money to pay for his wife’s expenses. When the brother refuses in dickweed fashion, Chief keys a car on his way out. Much later on, we see Chief open up the smoking kitty and debate taking it, but put the dough back when interrupted. Still later he spots a Help Wanted sign at a bar and heads in to inquire about the job.

Tommy visits his Uncle Teddy in prison. After hearing Tommy hasn’t made much progress on getting a male heir, Teddy encourages him to put some sperm on ice for later, just in case. Tommy brushes off the idea and happily tells Teddy that MADD is trying to get a petition together for his early release, but Teddy won’t have any of it-he likes prison! He’s like a celebrity there. While Teddy is happy about being in the slammer, he is loudly displeased when Tommy delicately brings up the possibility of putting his father in a nursing home.

Franco has tea and cookies with Alicia (hallelujah, a name!) and Keela. Alicia has given Keela a tea set as a present, and she hands over a present to Franco, too: a sweet-looking silver watch. At first Franco protests, but then he takes it.

After another unsettling conversation with Tommy, Sean tells Franco that Tommy’s acting weird. (Not, however, before Franco throws down this winner of a line: “You ever sneeze while you’re pissing? I hate that shit. It goes everywhere.”) Sean and Franco debate whether Tommy knows. Sean says he’s been careful, but Franco tosses back another great one: “No offense, Sean, but being careful for you is like tempting fate for most people.” Harsh but true. He encourages Sean to come clean.

Franco then goes to Tommy to bring up Lou’s drunken, erratic behavior. Tommy says he won’t talk directly to Lou (“He’s a sort-your-own-laundry kind of guy”) but will keep an eye on it.

Keeping tabs on Tommy, meanwhile, is Mrs. Turbody, who rings him on his cell. After trying to wriggle his way out of seeing her, Tommy gives in and arranges to meet her in two days. Denis Leary has an uncanny way of turning into a teenager every time they speak. It’s unnerving.

Colleen talks to her mom, surprised her mom will still let the kids stay with their dad after what happened. She seems pissed at both of them, but particularly her mom for making her and Katie lie. Janet: “Why don’t you go pray for a more normal family, if you think that’ll help.” Colleen: “The lord can only do so much.”

After hanging up on a voicemail from Janet, Tommy gets interrupted by Sheila, who has found drugs while cleaning/snooping in Damian’s room. Tommy tells her he’ll talk to Damian.

Sean calls Maggie, telling her he thinks Tommy knows about them. Tommy, ever the stealthy, interrupts the call to continue treating Sean really, really weird. Vibes of discomfort and anxiety are pouring off the TV, the scene’s so thick with them. And if Sean weren’t so thick himself, he’d know Tommy knows.

Franco shows off his Very Expensive Watch only to get promptly heckled for having a sugar momma. When he finds out it’s worth some serious bank, he returns it to her.

After Tom neglects to pick up the kids from school, Janet stops by the firehouse with a bone to pick. Tommy ignores her completely – except for the five seconds it takes to tell her he deletes all of her voicemails. She keeps ranting about how she’s going to get a lawyer and take the kids, but her big talk is drowned out by the sound of the alarm. The crew assembles and heads out, leaving her in the dust.

The crew has been called to an accident between a car and a hansom cab. The crew pulls out the humans and Sean tracks down the horse that got let free. After he brings it back to the guys, he talks glowingly about how he rode horses at summer camp. He smacks the horse’s behind for emphasis, and it takes off, darting into traffic where it meets its (thankfully offscreen) demise.

Back at the firehouse, Garrity’s looking despondent. The neighing noises the guys keep making aren’t helping. Nor is the nerve-wracking Franco-Tommy interrogation about how the sex is with his new girlfriend. While Tommy eats nuts in a manner more threatening than I thought possible, Sean talks about how much he respects women, then beats a hasty retreat. Franco to Tommy: “Jesus, Tom, this is more fun than you said it would be. The kid’s dying inside.” I guess it’s no shocker that Franco heart schadenfreude.

Lou catches Mike reading The Tao of Pooh. He gives him shit for it, insisting he give it up, since the firehouse is no place for sensitive souls and he shouldn’t be filling his head with that crap. But Mike likes what it has to say, likes the idea of being okay with who he is. “I’m just starting to realize that nobody’s ever gonna have all the answers. You may think you know everything, but you don’t, and you can’t, and you never will. So you should just stop trying and life will get a lot easier.” I say: smart sentiments from a hedonistic bear. Lou says: give me that damn book. He lunges for it but is interrupted by Tommy.

Tommy confronts him about the booze and the attitude. When Lou counters that Tommy’s in no position to help, Tommy says, “We’re brothers,” to which Lou replies, “I’ve seen how you treat your brothers.” Ouch. He calls Tommy a hypocrite and leaves.

Well, it takes one to know one; Hypocrite Lou surreptitiously steals a copy of The Tao of Pooh from the self-help section of a bookstore as I have flashbacks of Season Five-era Luke Danes’ similar aversion to the self-help section.

Tommy talks to Damian about the drugs. Damian says he’s not dealing anymore, it must have been old stuff. What he’s really upset about is Mrs. Turbody. He asks Tommy to help him get her back. Ah, the ignorance of youth. Tommy tells him it’s a bad idea. What, sleeping with someone who used to sleep with one of your relatives is a bad idea? Who says? Let’s ask Johnny for a second opinion.

Mike gets home after a hard day. His roommate gets them some beers and they sit down to watch the game. Looking a bit forlorn, Mike relaxes against the couch and leans his head on his friend’s shoulder. There’s a second’s pause where his friend doesn’t react, and I’m almost worried for Mike, but then his friend rests his head on Mike’s comfortably. What a relief. They mellow together as we head to credits.

Next time: A bus full of kids is trapped. There’s an explosion, a confession, and a donation. You can see the first four minutes at here.