Rescue Me Recap (Retards)

Title: “Retards” (aka Franco’s girlfriend Natalie’s brother Richard is really creepy)
Original Airdate: August 9, 2006

In the hospital room, Tommy is jerked awake by disturbing noises coming from injured fireman Stack. Tommy’s telling Stack to think about his wife, and the kids, and the cabin, when Stack’s wife Deb breezes in, carrying flowers and chatting. She says one of the things she loves about her husband is his strength, his survival instinct, his guilt. She tells Tommy he can leave, then thanks him sincerely for coming to help look after her husband.

In a hall trafficked by burn victims, Tommy calls Janet, saying he has to see her, to figure out how they’ll explain everything. To get their stories straight. Tommy suggests the next day at 6. Janet acquiesces, but warns him that Johnny gets back at 6:30, so he better not be late.

When he gets out to the parking lot, Sheila’s waiting for him in front of a pimpin’ truck. She’s got an offer for him: Damien needs a car, so Tommy will take the sweet ride and Damien can have his old one. Tommy’s skeptical, but Sheila convinces him that it has nothing to do with her ‘let’s sail off into the sunset together’ plan. With the ease of a practiced game show host, she convinces him to take the truck.

At the house, Franco’s talking about Richard, Natalie’s brother, who he is thinking of bonding with to show Natalie he’s serious. Maybe a baseball game? Sage advisors Lou and Sean agree it’s a good idea. When Franco calls Natalie, he finds out Richard has been banned from Yankee Stadium, but Nat agrees to let him take Rich on a tour of the firehouse instead.

Already the truck is getting Tommy into trouble, as he does some racing. He races all the way to the firehouse, where the truck is promptly stolen before he can show it to the guys. Now how’s he going to get around? He bemoans his transportation woes to the crew, who somehow manage to turn it around into giving Probie shit about being gay again. Probie storms out. He storms right up to Chief Perroli’s office to drop off his transfer form.

In the connubial bliss trailer at the jail, Teddy and his wife have a little QT. Well, it’s not exactly Q; Mrs. Teddy is not really in the mood for lovin’, since the atmosphere is kinda depressing. The next time she visits, she brings with her gauzy curtains, candles, and flowers. Way to feng shui it up, Mrs. T.

As Franco prepares to leave, Tommy comes by, trying to leech a ride. No such luck. He does, however, discover that Franco is still planning to take the lieutenant’s exam. When Tommy subsequently tries to mooch off Lou, he finds out Lou is still considering heading to Florida. So he tries to convince Lou that they’re lifers, they can’t leave the house. Perroli chooses that moment to stroll by and drop the bomb that Probie’s leaving. Lovely.

Tommy hails a cab. The driver is inching along, though, and Tommy’s getting pretty frustrated. When he sees his stolen truck drive by, Tommy’s had enough – he gets out of the backseat, shoves the driver over, and starts tailing the truck, promising to pay the cabbie extra. After some erratic, but fortunately not fatal, driving, Tommy is thwarted by a semi that blocks his path. So, of course, it’s the perfect time to start a religious conversation with his cabbie! They get into a heated conversation about heaven and hell and virgins and whores, so it’s no surprise that the cabbie drives off angrily when he drops Tommy off at Janet’s.

When Tommy arrives, Janet lays it down: she wants the baby, no matter whose it is, to replace what *she* lost. She tells him a boy in the family would solve a lot of problems, since it’s not like he’s going to have another kid, he can’t find a woman who would want to have his kid. Janet’s really just being cruel here, asking him why he didn’t listen to her and spend more time with the family years ago. She keeps attacking him, and of course it turns violent. He pushes her up against a wall, furious, asking her if she “ruined his life so far beyond what he could ever imagine” just because he didn’t listen? That’s why she’s sucking his brother’s cock, as Tommy so eloquently puts it?

Janet takes a bit of offense to that, it seems, and reaches down to forcefully grab and twist Tommy’s — hmm…what to call them? Given the topic of discussion, we’ll go with “family jewels” – family jewels to make a point. She says she needed him when Connor died, needed the old him, to care for and comfort her and the girls, but he wasn’t there, he died with all his brothers five years ago. Still squeezing him: “You can tell all your lost brothers to go to hell, because we’re here, and they’re not.”

Johnny chooses that moment to walk in, and he punches Tommy, pushing him to the ground and kicking him repeatedly, swearing if Tommy lays a hand on Janet again Johnny will kill him. Janet hugs Johnny woodenly as Tommy walks out. A moment later, Tommy’s back to beg for cab fare.

In the cab, Tommy talks to ghost!Jimmy, who’s encouraging him to get out of the firehouse and settle down with Sheila. Tommy’s incredulous, since initially Jimmy hated the idea of them together. But Jimmy tells him it’s been five years, and he just wants to see her happy.

Someone who does look happy is Jerry, who’s just come from a great visit with Jeannie. He talks to Carlene, who tells him Jeannie responded great to some reggae music she played for her earlier. (Huh-if it were me, it would’ve made me progress further into madness.) Jerry explains they went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. She offers to take him to a reggae club in her town.

Tommy arrives at the firehouse Probie’s requested the transfer to. He’s greeted by very polite, youthful, Probie clones. He stares at the plaque of the fallen firemen for a couple minutes before the firehouse Chief, Needles, comes down. He’s a pretty young guy, friend of Tommy’s, who knows about the Probie’s transfer request. Tommy tells him Probie’s gay, but that’s not enough to dissuade Needles from accepting the transfer. So Tommy tries another tactic, saying Probie’s a coward. That one seems to stick, but it’s a real dick move.

Tommy tries taking the bus, but he sees Connor on it and gets off to follow him…right in front of a bar. Tommy looks a little shaken as he walks in, asking for eight fingers of their highest quality whiskey. He drinks it pretty quickly, surprising the bartender, before he starts explaining how he doesn’t have nearly enough to pay. When two guys start to haul him out, Tommy says he’s FDNY, to which the bartender replies, “Prove it.” So Tommy does a little scar show and tell, which leads into challenging the bar crowd to identify the name of one dead fireman from 9/11. (They can’t.) By the time he gets around to describing everything that’s wrong with his life right then (a litany of horrors that rivals Logan Echolls’), the crowd is silent. He finishes his drink, and the bartender pours him another. A trashy woman sidles up next to him, but he isn’t interested: “Go blow a drummer.”

Tommy’s cousin/sponsor pulls up, and outside the bar Tommy tries to explain why he fell off the wagon, saying he was thinking about all his dead brothers and his dead son. Mickey screams at him: “Do you think this honors them?” Hitting Tommy, he offers him a bottle of booze only to smash it on the pavement.

At the firehouse, Richard and Franco are getting along. They just might be BFF if Richard gets to slide down the fire pole. Franco goes to call Natalie for a minute, leaving Rich with Probie and Sean. Of course, they’re not exactly careful with Rich, and he leaves on their watch. Franco scours the city for him, but he doesn’t find him. At last he heads back to Natalie’s, where the police have just dropped Richard off. Natalie is not happy. Rich told her Franco made fun of him. Franco protests, but Natalie tells him to leave.

Tommy gets a call – the police have found his truck. The driver was drunk and passed out inside. And, no, his name wasn’t Tommy.

Maggie and Sean soon-to-be-Garrity-Gavin squabble/plan their wedding. Maggie wants it to be at – shock — a bar.

Jerry and Carlene boogie at the reggae club. During a drink break, she explains he needs to keep things on the DL because a) no employee-employer fraternizing and b) she’s an illegal. Jerry’s cool with that.

At the hospital, Stack’s wife tells Tommy they want to take her husband’s hands. Tommy spends the next few hours in the room trying just to stay awake, keep Stack company. Eventually, though, Tommy goes to Stack’s bedside and tells him to let go. To just stop fighting. He reminisces aloud about how strong and brave they were when they were young and in probie school. He doesn’t want to end up having to be spoonfed and pushed around in a chair, does he? Tommy promises to take care of Deb and make sure the kids are okay. Tommy tells Stack, “You’ve got to go. Goddamn it, you’ve gotta go” before sitting back in his chair. In the morning, Stack flatlines. The nurses call code as Tommy gathers his things and leaves. Tommy as the new grim reaper? If the shoe fits…

Next week: Lou’s getting some with a nun, there’s something with a gun, things don’t look too fun. Two more episodes before the season ends its run.

Julie is a GMMR recapper extraordinaire, but she also has her own fabulous TV website. Head over to TV and Sympathy to read more from Julie