Lessons We’ve Learned from “The Office”
September 25, 2006 by Kath Skerry
I was stumbling around on the E! Watch with Kristin boards, and I came across a thread entited “Lessons We’ve Learned by Watching The Office”. I thought it was genius, so I thought I would share some of them with you. It’s not everyday that a TV show has such an impact on its audience. Had we never seen The Office we might may never know that…
- Sometimes it pays to be gay.
- The color green is kind of whorish
- You can order Gaydar from Sharper Image but order early because they are usually out.
- ALWAYS check your calendar! Just because you think it’s Friday does not mean it is Friday. It could be Thursday.
- You can’t fire somebody just because they’re in your van. They don’t work there.
- Never move to a neighborhood where you are the best looking one there.
- Not a lot of Americans know what a sempai is, but it’s equally as respected as a sensei.
- Hooking up with a girl on February 13th is not a good idea.
- Never, ever tape yourself having sex. It’s not a good idea…ever.
- If you put a bloody glove in someone’s drawer as a prank, it may backfire and make them think you killed someone.
- The uterus is not the same thing as a vagina.
- The movie about that huge ship that sinks when it hits an iceberg isn’t called The Hunt for Red October.
- Growing from a boy into a man overnight is a disability.
- If you are a racist, you will be attacked with the North.
So what have YOU learned from The Office? Please share…you never now if what you learned could help to save a life.
Photo courtesy of NBC Universal.
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Filed under The Office, TV News
I learned that all clovers is a good poker hand.
I learned that sprouting mung beans smell like death.
I learned the most dramatic thing to do during improv is to pull out a gun. My improv group thinks I’m awesome.
I learned to NEVER cook bacon at the foot of my bed on a George Foreman despite how much I love waking up to the smell of delicious bacon. Nobody will have sympathy for you and may, in fact, leave you stranded on the bathroom floor. Not pretty.
If you are a deranged person, do NOT bring a spud gun to work.
I learned that martial arts training is relevant on a resume. A billion Asians would agree.
Ice cream sandwiches, while they are surprising, will not make up for your company’s lack of a health care plan.
You can learn a lot about women on the streets — on the ghetto, in fact.
Purell hand sanitizer makes a great substitute for hard liquor when you can’t get your hands on real alcohol during the workday.
Oh, and I know that Kobe Bryant didn’t do it…well, maybe he did.
Engaged ain’t married. Never, ever, ever give up! 😉
Chili’s is the new golf course.
The Boston Market in Strasberg always has fresh yams.
You have to play to win, but you also have to win to play.
A sweater is an acceptable gift in place of an iPod. As is a Prism DuroSport. Those things never break.
I learned that the clitoris is located at the crest of the vagina.
I learned that jell-o encased office supplies is not a practical joke in all office settings, but is sometimes seen as a threat.
Labia*
Whoops. I guess both the public school system and Toby have failed me.
I learned that the Lincoln Assassination just became funny. “I need to see the opera like I need a hole in my head”. But the Holocaust and JFK assassination are off-limits.
I learned never to go to the bathroom during a sporting event if I’m on a first date.
I learned that placing jelly beans on my desk is a great way to attract the cute guy in the office.
In business school they don’t teach you how to operate a toaster oven.
I learned that “tit for tit” is not the expression….but it should be.
I learned that those who sit and wait are blessed.
It is better to be feared AND loved. You want people to be afraid of how much they love you.
I learned that an office needs crazy sexual tension to keep things interesting.
We deceive women so as not to hurt them and in that way we honor them.
I learned that that’s what she said… or he said.
I learned that you should always order your Awesome Blossoms with extra awesome.
I learned “fleece it out,” “going mach 5,” and “dinkin’-flicka,” phrases that will help me in my interracial conversations.
Hey! Thanks for using one of mine! I came up with #5 about firing someone in your van. I’ve never laughed so hard at a TV show before.
I learned that pizzas do not play DVDs.
I learned that they do not build houses with terraces in Scranton, and that I just need to accept that…oh, wait, that was before last Thursday. I guess I don’t need to suck it up and be happy without my un-terraced house.
I learned that God most likely works at Chili’s.
I learned that all heros, even the super kind, can hold a special place in our hearts.
I learned that if you make friends with the vending machine guy you can force your co-worker to buy all his stuff back.
I learned that black people like pizza.
I learned that bringing your purple belt to work isn’t wise because someone might steal it.
I learned that their bread is very good.
I learned to never announce that the boat you are on is sinking if you don’t want to end up handcuffed to the deck railing in the middle of January.
I learned that a 30 year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. And if I were buying a coffin, I should buy one with thicker walls so I couldn’t hear all the dead people.
I learned that in the wild there is no health care.
Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.
It is not responsible to try to eat six saltines in under a minute.
I learned that the soup kitchen in Scranton has delicious pea soup on Thursdays.
Some people who call you a “hussy” will still expect to be invited to your wedding…
I’ve learned that Dunder Mifflin does NOT sell double-tabbed manila file folders, no matter how long Dwight insists that they do.
I learned that animals need a lot of lovin’.
I’ve learned that Dunder-Mifflin paper, while not necessarily less flammable than other brands, is definitely no more flammable than other brands.
I’ve learned that putting people’s office supplies in Jell-O can send them into a screaming, garbage pail-kicking rage, and no one else in the office will laugh.
I learned which employee Pam was.
I learned that you should notify someone if you get yourself for secret santa.
I learned that the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman is boobs.
I learned that sometimes people will use ChuckE Cheese as code for ‘the hospital.’
I learned that if your office is sinking, you should always save the receptionist.
Hey Big Tuna….why don’t you consolidate all your lessons for us…. 🙂
I learned that a gift is sometimes about the gesture: what it means rather than what it is. Hams do not apply.
In summary: I’ve learned alot from The Office. I’ve also learned that GMMR is the best site of all time. 🙂
I learned rules 1,2,4, and 5 of the 10 rules of the Michael Scott School of Business.
I learned that ‘Comic Relief’ no longer exists.
I learned what it means to be a HERO
I learned that 98% of people with skin cancer fully recover. But it’s still scary.
I love all the comments!! But if you are leaving more than ONE lesson learned, please consolidate your learnings into one comment.
I learned that the I.T. Tech guy is a good guy, not a terrorist.
I’ve learned that ironing your jeans is a little weird …. and sharing your feelings is very attractive …. and that a high school yearbook picture means a lot …. and that a teapot is better than an iPod, and day !!
I have also learned that you should always save the receptionist from a sinking ship.
“I learned to stop caring a long time ago.”
I learned that the female vagina is not on the leg.
That if the offer is for one punch then you shouldn’t punch twice… catch 22
I learned that Safety’s first, ie don’t burn the building down.
I learned that you shouldn’t put off firing someone till the Halloween Party… especially if you want them to stay friends. Also learned that the friendship can’t be bought back with a Gift Certificate to Chilis, but that I have the possibility to meet that person in a street of New York, and get closure.
I learned that the hand strikes, and then gives a flower…and that Jan isn’t even on the Gold plan
I learned that the best joke of all time is “That’s what she said..”
I learned that showing one’s teeth is a sign of submission in primates. If you smile at someone, you’re just another chimpanzee begging for its life.