Ugly Betty Recap: Fey’s Sleigh Ride

I just finished reading an article about a new TV term that’s emerging, and it’s called TiNo. TiNo is when you TiVo a program with the intent of watching it at a later time. This for me is how I watch Ugly Betty. Don’t get me wrong, I have completely fallen for Betty. The show is funny while maintaing the warmth that makes it unique. But let’s face it…my other two favorite shows are also on Thursday nights, so I can’t watch it all.

This is why it kills me to have Julie’s recap right in front of me and NOT being able to read it. It’s torture. I hope the rest of you cam enjoy without guilt.

Title Fey’s Sleigh Ride
Original Airdate: 10/19/2006

Networking night at Mode, and Amanda and Marc have brought Betty so they can show her around to be mocked and marveled at appropriately by other fashion industry drones. Betty meets “Fat Carol,” a normal-sized woman who shows that you don’t have to be fashionable to be an unfriendly shrew. She also meets Carlo Medina, who works at competing mag Isabella in the same role as Betty.

Carlo tells Betty she’s “a legend” and proceeds to grill her about working for Daniel. Betty’s actually quite complimentary — though not in the version of events Amanda later feeds Daniel as they meet for their nightly tryst.

The next day, it turns out what Betty did and didn’t say to Carlo is quite the hot topic, seeing as the uber-important holiday photo shoot Mode had designed with Vincent Bianchi – a post-apocalyptic Christmas, complete with designer flak jackets, tanks, and a downed Santa statue – has been stolen by none other than Isabella magazine. The models, the sets, the clothes, are all stolen.

I say, let’s scapegoat the Grinch. It’s Christmas, right? Wilhelmina and Daniel, however, call a staff meeting where they ask the culprit to confess. While Betty, keenly hearing the beating of her tell-tale heart, starts to raise her hand, Marc and Amanda kick and prod her into silence. She could implicate them too, doesn’t she realize that? She doesn’t, until they meet for a bathroom pow-wow. Turns out each one of them spilled pieces of info about the shoot, but none of them revealed the whole enchilada. Convincing Betty that if she fesses up they’ll all get canned, they guilt her into keeping mum. “We have to protect each other.”

Meanwhile, Justin has accompanied Betty to Mode as part of a school assignment to shadow someone whose job he admires, so he gets to observe all the sordid goings-on of Betty’s occupation. He picked a hell of a day to be a fly on the wall at Mode.

Back at the Suarez house, Walter is visiting to fix something technical, while Ignacio is taking the opportunity to sneak copious amounts of coffee from him. Ignacio, who seems to have a bit of a soft spot for Walter, counsels him about how to win Betty back with a romantic gesture. When an HMO rep calls for Ignacio to confirm an appointment about legal claims, he cancels the appointment.

In the elevator at Mode, it seems as though hell has in fact, frozen over, as Daniel Wilhelmina join forces to fix the frakked up shoot. They agree that Wilhelmina will interrogate staffers to track down the leak, while Daniel will come up with a new shoot. What they really come up with is my favorite exchange of the night, referring to their :

Daniel: “Are you as creeped out as I am?”
Wilhelmina: “More.”

Everyone at Mode is dealing with the stress in their own way, some ways more adaptive than others. Marc is hyperventilating. Amanda is binge-eating. Justin is glorying in all the clothes. Betty is working her ass off trying to help Daniel come up with a new spread.

Earlier, we found out that the music box Bradford liberated from Fey Sommers’ estate is now in the possession of Wilhelmina and her masked cohort. The masked woman has been calling Daniel and leaving him a series of escalating mysterious messages about his father’s activities and secrets hidden within aforementioned box. Bradford is a bit freaked about this, considering that the music box is evidence that he had a motive to kill Fey: they were having an affair. Bad call, Bradford. From what we’ve seen of her, she looked pretty wizened and tendony. That’s about as attractive as gettin’ down with a piece of turkey jerky.

As Betty goes out to get food for the crew (looks like a long night for the Mode staff), Bradford’s car pulls up and he takes a few moments to ask her about the mysterious calls before jetting off into the night. Once she returns to Mode, Betty tries to confess to Daniel, but he says he doesn’t have to know about everything, especially if it’s something that will lead to him losing her. Aw, that’s sweet, Daniel. Just stop having sex with Amanda, and you’ll be a real peach.

When Betty returns home, Justin is regaling the family with tales of mayhem at Mode. Shortly after, Marc and Amanda arrive with an entourage of inhalers and Cheetos. They inform Betty that Wilhelmina wants to see the three of them the following morning. “She knows.” Betty isn’t particularly hospitable, but Ignacio fills in the gap, offering them something to eat. Maybe they want some flan? Or maybe they just want to give me my second favorite exchange of the night:

Amanda: “What’s that?”
Ignacio: “A delicious custard.”
Amanda: “Bring it.”

Amanda’s a lot more fun when her job is in peril. While she noshes, the three staffers decide to pin the leak on Fat Carol. Even Ignacio counsels Betty that “sometimes you have to keep secrets to survive.” Hmm. That seems a bit out of character. I’m sure it won’t come up later, though.

That night, Wilhelmina, Daniel, and Vincent brainstorm ideas for their new spread. While looking at back issues, they settle on the same concept used in a popular 1986 spread with Fey Sommers riding a sleigh pulled by a team of models. They look like they’re all named Vixen. Deciding to recycle the idea (“Old is the new new”), they’ll switch it up by using an empty sleigh as a tribute to Fey.

During the morning elevator ride up to the Mode office, Amanda and Marc make out with a powdered-sugar-covered cruller and a paper bag, respectively. Betty angsts over her decision to be dishonest, until Fat Carol enters the elevator acting like a foul and vindictive bitch. As she exits, Marc, Amanda, and Betty all echo “Fat Carol!” with irritation.

Overnight, the music box magically appeared in Daniel’s office. He seems surprisingly unnerved by it, and explains to Betty that his dad once brought back a music box from Switzerland for his mother, which caused her to go into a Mode-burning rage. The music box on his desk is its twin – a box he bought for his mistress, Fey. Betty removes the upper tray of the box to find charred sunglasses and a singed portion of Fey’s license plate.

Justin arrives at Mode, saying he has to follow up on some stuff for the assignment. Betty believes him, till she gets an angry call from Hilda wondering why he isn’t at school. Turns out he made up the paper so he could ditch school and hang out at Mode. Before she heads into her meeting with Wilhelmina, Betty gives him a stern talking to: “You’re not going to get very far in life by lying. That is not who we are.”

Betty then proves it by telling Wilhelmina the truth in their meeting. Well, sort of. While Amanda and Marc blame Fat Carol, Betty says she told Carlo “everything,” trying to remove suspicion from the others. Her honesty doesn’t matter, as it happens. It turns out Fat Carol truly deserved the blame. She slept with Carlo (Carlo and Carol? They are so MFEO!) and gave away all the secrets. Wilhelmina dismisses the three musketeers, excusing their behavior as “drunk, horny, and naïve,” and they scatter, relieved.

Justin’s still hanging around at the photo shoot, which he perceptively describes as “just like Top Model, except no one’s crying.” He and Marc have a nice bonding moment over the baby blue Ralph Lauren vest Justin’s sporting and their shared experience of not fitting in with their classmates. Marc tells him: “Be who you are, wear what you want – just learn how to run real fast.”

We close out the episode with a bunch of surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. Daniel surprises Bradford with a music box – his mother’s – at the photo shoot. Betty finds out from the HMO rep that the Social Security Number her father has been using belongs to a dead man. Carlo finds out Wilhelmina wants him to work as a spy for Mode. And, last but not least, Walter surprises Betty with a karaoke serenade to the theme from her favorite movie: Beauty and the Beast. I tell ya, you haven’t lived till you’ve heard a nerd sing a tune popularized by Angela Lansbury as a singing teapot in an animated movie. Betty joins in for a duet, and it’s actually sort of sweet…for now.

Next week: It’s Halloween, and a Clark Kent-lookin’ cutie wants Betty to be his Lois Lane. Go for it, girl! Christopher Gorham is adorkable.