Ugly Betty Recap: The Lyin’, The Watch, and The Wardrobe

Title: The Lyin’, The Watch, and The Wardrobe
Original Airdate: October 26, 2006

It’s Halloween, official “come as you aren’t” day, and the spirit of pretending to be something you’re not is in the air.

Marc is pretending to be Betty, with a cruelly accurate costume, complete with poncho and braces. He doesn’t get to do much in this episode, other than wear big fake eyebrows and attack a TV.

Wilhelmina is pretending to be a size 2, when age and restrictive style standards have finally caught up with her. She spends most of the episode trying to squeeze into a hot red dress for a Halloween ball, failing, shrieking, and eating a sandwich. Plus, we find out she has a daughter (!!!) named Nico (better known to VM fans as Yolanda Hamilton) who shows up at the end of the episode.

Ignacio is pretending to be bleeding, blood-sucking, and various other bone-chilling things in the heavily decorated Suarez household, not seeming to care that kids come “for candy, not for trauma.” Despite his Halloween enthusiasm, he finally can’t pretend to be something he’s not anymore. He admits to Betty that his Social Security Number is fake because he’s in the U.S. illegally.

Daniel is pretending to be a good son, going to visit his alkie mother over at the Stone Rehabilitation Center. Really he’s just looking for more information on Bradford’s affair with Fey, and he’s even willing to let his mother have a “sip” of wine to pry some info out of her. Turns out, the affair lasted 20 years, until finally Mama Meade forced Bradford to choose. Who’d he pick? “Well, one of us is here, and one is dead.” Meanwhile, Daniel’s not even pretending to be a good boss or boyfriend, forcing Betty to go track down a watch he left with one of the women he knocked designer boots with the previous week. At least he gets real enough at the end of the ep to ask his dad if he had Fey killed. Yeow! (Bradford denies it, but that’s no surprise.)

Amanda is pretending she’s okay with Daniel treating her like any other member of his harem of hoochies. She is also pretending Daniel has scabies, and calling his recent conquests to inform them of said “fact.” This is her way of getting back at Daniel for forgetting he spent the night at her place and left his watch, an actual fact that she fails to tell Betty, who’s been traipsing around this city in search of it. However, Amanda also fails at hiding her true feelings about Daniel from Betty, when she gets all Bathroom Stall Confessions and admits she wishes he would change and try a real relationship with her. Will that ever happen? To quote Daniel: “Probably not.”

And Betty? Betty’s pretending she can handle dating Walter again, but it isn’t going so well. He’s coming on too strong, making her say she’ll miss him, asking her to move in with him, and breaking up a harmless lunch that she’s having with hot Henry, who works in accounting. Well, semi-harmless. Hot Henry is completely adorable, and, as far as I’m concerned, a great match for Betty. (They both know the circumference of the earth! He dressed up as SuperAccountant! He makes jokes about being a parolee!) However, it simply isn’t Betty’s character to “flit around”, and she’s not just going to toss Walter away like “the first pancake”…yet.

The only one who’s not pretending? Justin, who dresses up as Gene Kelly…er…a sailor for Halloween, inspiring one of my favorite lines from the episode from his mother: “There is no twirling in the Armed Forces!”

Oh, and next week? Salma Hayek and her prominent décolletage show up are in the house! Plus…will Fey Sommers come out of seclusion? My vote is simply for more Gorham.

Julie is a GMMR recapper extraordinaire, but she also has her own fabulous TV website. Head over to TV and Sympathy to read more from Julie.