Gilmore Girls Recap: “Merry Fisticuffs”

Title: “Merry Fisticuffs”
Original Airdate: 12/5/06
Okay everyone, you’ve seen the previews, you can see the name of the episode and if you’ve read my recaps at all you know I‘ve been waiting for this. It’s the Luke & Christopher Showdown of 2006! Lets see if we can finish the year off with a bang or at least some satisfying man on man action.

We start out with Christopher and Lorelai in a kitchen, a very large and spacious kitchen, kissing each other goodbye for the day. What the heck? Oh wait, turns out they are just playing around, seeing if this house feels right. They even have a realtor there, who’s describing the beauty of the home. However once she says the words “tree house” I am sold. I always wanted a tree house as a kid, even though I’m not really an outdoorsy person and I hate heights. The couple is left alone to discuss the house and it seems they both really love it. Chris says he knows it’s not in Stars Hollow but it is a small town. Wait. Stop this train. Not in Stars Hollow? Blasphemy! As they are leaving Lorelai gets quiet and Chris realizes she wants to stay in her town and in her house. She admits she does and he says okay. Phew, I mean I know they wouldn’t actually move but its mean of the writers to even suggest such a thing.

Lorelai arrives at her mother’s, 37 minutes late for their wedding party planning. Emily’s fine with it though, because she’s just gotten the best party planner in town Randall to take on their party. Randall is some stuffy British guy who I can never imagine planning a party. They start off by getting Lorelai to pick out a theme, but she doesn’t see what the big deal is over the whole shindig. They ignore her and get down to the planning.

At the dinner Kirk is trying to sell Miss Patty Christmas wrapping paper. Seems the kids of Stars Hollow are doing it as a fundraiser for a new school gym, so Kirk is competing with the kids to make money for himself. Oh Kirk, have you no shame? Liz comes in with her daughter Doula in tow and everyone fawns all over the baby. I admit she’s a cute kid. Liz starts bragging about how big and strong she is, which is obviously gets from TJ, so lets hope she gets her brains from someone else. Luke tells his sister how happy April is to have a cousin and how the Anna situation is going. Luke says they are trading calls and he’s sure it will all work out. He’s even mapped out a schedule of times he could have April over holidays, etc and it all sounds very reasonable. Liz suggests getting a lawyer since these things can get ugly. We all know how much he hates lawyers, and Luke is certain they will figure it out. The baby falls asleep and Liz instantly goes to make a run for it. Luke is flabbergasted but Liz explains that she hasn’t had a moment to herself since the baby was born and she’ll be back in an hour, give or take.

Back to party planning, and Randall keeps name-dropping all the famous people he knows. Lorelai gets a call from Rory so she starts pretending that something is wrong to get out of party planning. Too bad Emily can hear Rory on the other end of the line and knows Lor’s game. HA! Rory calls to bail on dinner with her parents because Logan’s in town to visit her. They banter a bit and then Lor gets summoned to look at party invitations. Such a hard life our Lorelai leads.

Lorela is complaining to Chris as they shop at the market about all the party planning. Lor makes a move to grab some Peanut Butter Captain Crunch (good choice) but Chris puts it back because they “decided” on only one sugary cereal in the house at a time. Seriously man, are you her father or her husband? Anyway Chris offers to come to the wine tasting for the party the next day after his meeting. Does Chris have a job or does he just meet with people to talk about how much money he has? They get to the cashier, but she’s super slow so Chris tells Lor to go wait outside for him and she skips her way out. Outside she runs right into Luke and Doula, who he is pushing in a stroller. She admires the baby, even holding her as they discuss parenthood. Chris comes out with bags of groceries and none too impressed to see his wife playing with a baby and her ex-fiancée, so he interrupts and then acts cold. Lor gives the baby back and then heads off with her husband.

Logan’s at Yale and not too happy about eating at the dining hall, still Rory wants him to experience the food there just once. Oh Rory, why eat crappy food if you don’t have to? Embrace your boyfriend’s wealth. While getting their food they run into Lucy, who is excited to finally meet Rory’s boyfriend, so she invites them to have Indian food the next night with her and Marty. And speak of the devil, who just walked in beckoning his girlfriend? Yep it’s Marty. Lucy calls him over and introduces him to Logan, but Marty admits to knowing Logan when he bartended a party for him. Poor naïve Lucy finds this hilarious, thinking Rory probably met Marty years ago without realizing it.

Once Lucy and Marty leave Logan wants to know why Rory is pretending to not know the M-man. Rory explains what went down, how she just went along with it all because she didn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend wants to know why Marty would pretend not to know her, so Rory admits that he used to like, and even tells him about Marty calling her “beautiful”. Logan seems to get jealous about this, asking if her and Marty are hanging out now and why hadn’t she told him about this before. She promises she only sees him with Lucy and that she didn’t “not” tell him, she just didn’t think it was important. The couple agrees that Rory needs to tell Lucy the truth but she just needs to figure out what to say. Oh and he’s cool with dinner as long as there is “nothing on your end” for Rory to make the dinner weird. Rory promises there isn’t “anything there”. How about the fact that her boyfriend is being a bit of a jealous jerk?

Lorstopher’s in bed all sweaty from what I can only assume was an intense tickle fight. As they cuddle Chris says, “Lets make a baby.” Lor thinks he’s kidding but no it turns out he’s serious. Seriously? Oh yeah. His wife is obviously caught off guard since they’ve never talked about it. Does she want another kid? Lorelai says “sure” and “maybe” but Chris figures since the last one (I assume he means Rory) turned out pretty good why not. Lor points out that Rory was a lot of work. I point out that there is no way Chris would know that since he was you know, never freaking around, so it makes sense he thinks children raise themselves. He admits she’s right but things are different now financially and they can afford to have a thousand kids. Please don’t. Lorelai’s still not sure and says she thinks she wants another one. So they’re on the same page? Not really since Chris seems too think its baby making time right that second. Lor tries to slow him down explaining they just got married and it’s too soon. Chris wants to know if she’s afraid that they wont last, and that’s why she’s not ready. WHOA? WHAT? She insists that’s not the reason and what is with the rush? Yeah Chris…what the heck is going on? Chris just agrees with her, says its fine and then turns away from his wife and goes to sleep, leaving Lor confused and upset. I get that I have to put up with Chris being around, but do I have to put up with him acting like a 5 year old?

Luke’s at the diner wondering where April is because they’re suppose to go to a movie. Kirks there too, bragging about how well he’s doing with his wrapping paper sales. He’s kicking the school kids butts. Sure they’re prank calling him and having pizza’s sent to his house but he doesn’t care. The kids show up at the diner, and they want to talk to Kirk, outside and in private. He goes but with a promise if things get physical he wont hold back. I just love the mental image of Kirk taking on ten 13-year-old boys; they’d rip him to shreds. Luke finally calls Anna looking for April because he’s worried. Turns out she’s not coming because Anna’s not comfortable with her daughter being around Luke after he threatened her. Luke tries to protest but she says it IS her decision to make and hangs up on him.

Chris and Lorelai are at the ballroom where the party is being thrown with Randall showing them around. Lor is making jokes but Chris is being serious and kinda bratty. Lor asks him if he’s okay but Chris says he’s fine. Emily’s there and she mentions the vows. Vows? Since it’s a party to celebrate their marriage they’re should be vows. Lor finds this hysterical since they already are married, but Christopher likes the idea. Emily feels that they’re family and friends should witness the vows since they weren’t there for the actual wedding. Lor points out that they eloped to avoid the whole “wedding” business but Chris snaps back that they eloped because they love each other and wanted to get married. This starts them bickering, Chris mad because Lorelai doesn’t want to do the vows and therefore that’s it. The house, the wedding, and kids it’s all Lor’s decision. This perks Emily up, wanting to know if they are planning to have more kids. Poor Lorelai. They finally go off just the two of them and Lor wants to know what the heck is going on. Chris figures that since they are already married that she should do the vows, I mean didn’t she plan a whole wedding with that “Diner Guy”? Oh no you didn’t Chris, you do not want my wrath. Lor wants to know if that is what all this is about but no, he thought it was about them, but obviously it’s all about her. He walks away, saying he’s going back to work and just leaves Lor standing there calling after him, embarrassed as her mother and Randall look on.

Looks like Luke is bringing out the big guns, because he’s at a lawyers office finding out he’s going to have to sue for partial custody if he wants to see April. The lawyer tells him that since he wasn’t a part of Aprils life for the past 12 years, Anna’s fault or not, its doubtful he’ll get what he’s asking for. Luke decides he wants to fight so the lawyer wants dirt on Anna, which Luke doesn’t have. But he does have a criminal record for beating up a guy’s car (I remember that episode 2 seasons ago). The lawyer promises that this is going to be ugly, hard and expensive but they’ll have to move quick because if Anna gets April out of state before they file it’ll make things more difficult. Luke just looks resigned to the fact that he has to do this to be with his daughter.

The Foursome is at the restaurant for their double date. Lucy and Logan are chatting away but Marty and Rory are just sitting there being awkward, which Logan is keeping watch of. They start discussing Marty having 4 jobs, and he makes a snaky stab at Logan about having a trust fund. This obviously wasn’t a good move on his part because Logan’s got a viscous look on his face. Logan asks how Lucy and “Boyfriend” met, something about how Marty came to all these performances she was in so she finally went up and talked to him. This brings up the question as to how Rory and Logan met and there is an odd silence until Logan admits it was Marty who introduced them. The trust comes out that Marty and Rory were friends and Lucy understandable gets upset and doesn’t understand why they kept it from her. She runs out with her boyfriend following her. Rory can’t believe Logan told her like that, humiliating her in front of everyone. Logan didn’t want to lie to her, because suddenly he’s all about the morals. He decides he’s going back to New York that night and Rory doesn’t even seem to care.

Lorelai’s at the Inn doing inventory when Rory calls. Rory laments about what Logan did at dinner, not understanding why he would be jealous of Marty when she loves him. Rory has been trying to get a hold of Lucy so she’s going to head over to her place and try to talk to her.

Chris is sitting in a very empty bar at closing time and finally drunkenly heads out into the night. Heading to his car he sees Luke pull up in from of the diner. Oh Ladies and Gentleman, I do believe this is what you have been waiting for, Danes and Hayden, a fight to the death. Chris starts making a beeline for Luke and Luke starts heading towards Chris. The jackets come off and not a word is said. Chris takes a swing, Luke dodges and left hooks him. Chris falls to the ground but Luke grabs him. They start half wrestling until Chris finally gets a shot in. Luke responds in kind and they’re both slow to get up. Chris lunges at Luke, knocking him into the town Christmas tree. They crawl away from each other, stand and then circle each other with evil eyes. They both then slowly head back fro the directions they came. I have to give this one to Luke, who got more shots on Chris and who looks better without his shirt on.

Rory knocks on the girls’ dorm room door and Olivia answers. Rory asks to speak to Lucy but Olivia says she doesn’t want to speak to Rory, and neither does Olivia. She shuts the door in Rory’s face, who walks away crying.

Lorelai has just gotten home and is scared by her mother sitting on the porch. As it Turns out Emily wants to talk to her daughter about her marriage. Please Emily, be the voice of reason in this craziness! Lor doesn’t want her mother’s advice but Emily’s going to give it anyway. She says that Chris is immature, lacking in common sense and does not make the best decisions, but he is her husband, for better of worse. This means compromise and hard work, because even though she likes Christopher and thinks he’s good for Lor they aren’t perfect. Marriage is about swallowing your pride and letting him win. It’s serious business, and if Lorelai doesn’t take it seriously he’ll be gone and she’ll be alone again. Emily then leaves and Lorelai looks thoughtful, but I’m not too sure she took it as seriously as she should have.

Well that’s it for this year, as we wont have any new Gilmore Girls until 2007. Thanks to everyone who reads this recap, it’s been a labor of (Luke) love, and I appreciate every comment that’s been left. See you in the New Year!

Happy Holidays to All and to All a Good Haul!

Being born and raised amongst the igloos of Canada shaped Whirl’s love of hockey, beer and the warmth of the television screen. Though she refuses to wear spandex she has sworn to use her powers of sarcasm for the greater good of man kind, and disguises herself daily as a mild mannered office clerk. Oh yeah, and she’s not too bad at Trivial Pursuit. Seriously. Seriously.