Prison Break Recap: Sona (Season 2 Finale)

Ladies and gentleman, a round of applause (and by applause I mean comments) for Michelle as she wraps up her recaps for this season of Prison Break. On a personal note I really wanted to take the time to thank Michelle for all she’s done for GMMR this past year. I will be forever amazed at how fast you can pull a recap together…I am humbled by your talent. Thanks so much fo everything!!

Title: “Sona”
Original Airdate: April 2, 2007
GMMR Recapper: Michelle

Had this been truly the last episode of the series – which it wasn’t, as it was recently announced that there will certainly be a Season 3 – what a letdown of an ending it would have been. As it was, though, standing as another chapter in the Incredibly Cursed Lives of Michael Scofield and Lincoln Burroughs, it was quite satisfying. Even though Kellerman, my favorite pretend-gay, blueberry-pie-loving paid assassin, was gunned down after testifying on behalf of Sara, it was still a good episode…until the last five or ten minutes, during which I felt like I had accidentally pressed the TiVo remote and was watching an episode of “Lost,” so confused was I by everything that was happening.

First, the “little people”:

KELLERMAN – after testifying at Sara’s trial and revealing all of the truth he knows, he’s led away to prison van. On the way to the Big House, one of the “guards” (yeah, sure) feigns engine trouble and turns off the highway to investigate. In a few seconds, the back of the van opens, and men in black (literally) pump bullets into the back to take care of Kellerman (I love how they leave this open-ended, like they can come back and say “Kellerman didn’t really die” if the “Gray’s Anatomy” spin-off doesn’t work out and the actor comes back to this show. C’mon, now. My Sensi is dead. Accept it and let him go peacefully. I will, eventually).

SUCRE – injured and hospitalized, he leaves against medical advice to find a still-missing Maricruz. He’s hurting, he can’t find her, Bellick’s no help (see below), and last we see Sucre, he’s passed out in the middle of the street, locals walking around him like he’s an inconvenient puddle. Is he dead? Who knows? Do I care anymore? I don’t know. He was absolutely wasted this season. Maybe they should let him die so the actor can pursue better opportunities and not be reduced to pining over a woman who almost married his cousin and is now carrying her escaped-con boyfriend’s baby.

BELLICK – framed for the murder of the prostitute last week, he’s now in a jail in Panama. Who shows up in the same cell but T-BAG? Bellick thinks this means he’s been cleared, but it ain’t so. He’s led off to bigger and better places (a more disgusting prison) and he STILL won’t tell Sucre where Maricruz is on his way out. Scumbag. Really, I think I hate Bellick more than any other character. Well, I hate Kim a lot, too, but he’ll be dead by the end of the episode, so my hatred is directed all at Bellick right now. T-BAG thinks this means HE has been cleared, but that ain’t so, either. When a man shows up to supposedly bail out T-Bag, but he doesn’t, T-Bag realizes he’s probably there for the long haul. Who IS that guy talking to T-Bag? Should I recognize him? Is that why T-Bag was in Panama the whole time, to lead other people to Michael Scofield? Did I just forget this? Was it this guy’s plan to capture T-Bag all along? Am I back to doing everything in question format?

Now, the big guns. When we last left Michael, he had just received a proposition from Mahone: Lincoln’s life in exchange for Michael’s plan and his boat. Does Mahone really want the boat to sail away with his ex-wife and son, or is this another set up to trap Michael? Both. Mahone really does want the boat, the money and the plan, but he’s luring Michael to the warehouse to trap Mr. Kim. Mahone’s grand plan is to double-cross Kim and kill him and then frame the brothers while he escapes. Michael makes it to the warehouse, making a couple of brief and unexplained stops along the way (one to the yacht of a drug lord, as Michael apparently wants to add Drug Trafficker to his post-prison escape resume, among the list of other crimes for which he is most definitely responsible). Lincoln has been working on escaping from his handcuffs by loosening what is obviously the world’s most poorly-installed pipe (seriously, I have installed many a sink faucet, and I’m lucky if I can get those babies to turn even when I use an industrial-strength plumber’s wrench…and Lincoln uses his bare hands, with minimal effort even. Either I’m incredibly weak, or this is “Prison Break.”). So Mahone, Kim, Michael, Lincoln, and Kim’s goons (of course, he brought his own, for his own double-cross) are all in the warehouse, and it turns into that scene from “True Romance” with Christian Slater where EVERYONE is shooting everyone else, and it’s confusing and chaotic. Michael, Linc, Mahone and Kim all escape (all the goons die, I guess, just like members of the Away Team on “Star Trek”) to…???

Meanwhile, Sara has been completely exonerated since Kellerman took the stand and revealed everything – and I do mean everything – that has been going on, including Lincoln’s innocence and Carolyn Reynolds’ involvement in the whole conspiracy (I am dumbfounded: WHY, if it was this easy, wasn’t this done WAY before now? I understand that the show would have probably ceased production, but this seems like a real cop-out to me. It was THIS easy? Why didn’t Michael look further into THIS mode of proving Lincoln’s innocence, rather than go through with the whole “break him out of prison and kill innocent people” plan? And we thought Michael was the smart on the whole time. Clearly not.). Sara immediately tries to call Michael to tell him the news, but he doesn’t hear his phone, because he’s buying drugs (I can’t believe I just wrote that, and it’s totally true). But later, after the warehouse shoot-em-up when Mahone escapes and sets sail on the Christina Rose, Michael’s boat, we soon realize that Michael bought that cocaine so he could plant it on the boat, thus making sure Mahone would be arrested and imprisoned down in Panama. OK, so Michael might really be the smart one, because that’s exactly what happens. Mahone calls his ex to tell her to cancel their vacation plans together and forget he ever existed. Thinking she’s being dissed – again – by her scumbag ex-husband and his haunting secrets, she hangs up the phone, confused and pissed, as Mahone is led away to jail.

Michael paid a local drug-running kid (yep) to procure him a new boat…and who should be waiting on the boat but Sara. He left her a message earlier with yet another code in it, I think, alerting her to his whereabouts on the off chance she was free that night (turns out she was), and there she is…AND INSTEAD OF RUNNING TO HER AND KISSING HER AND SWEEPING HER INTO A GIANT BEAR HUG, MICHAEL CASUALLY WALKS UP TO HER AND SQUEEZES HER. Seriously, it looks like how a seventh-grade boy greets his “girlfriend” so as not to face ridicule from his friends for liking a girl too much, because girls have cooties. Michael’s obviously happy to see her, but c’mon…he loves her, he’s been moping about her for days, he feels guilty that she put her life on the line for him, and that’s all he can muster up in the way of enthusiasm? She tells the brothers that Linc’s definitely free, Michael will probably be free once the paperwork is done, and life is grand. But the brothers are free men for no more than five minutes when Kim shows up (how could he POSSIBLY know where they are? Who knows…), threatening to kill one or both of the brothers. So Sara shoots him, and he falls dead into the water.

The police arrive, a chase ensues, Linc escapes, and Michael and Sara are cornered into an abandoned house, which is quickly surrounded by police. Sara is devastated by the idea that she took another person’s life, even if that person was someone like Mr. Kim, and Michael consoles her. He tells her he loves her, he holds her, and does everything he can to comfort her before they walk out of the house and surrender to police. But they don’t really surrender, as Michael holds Sara “hostage” and tells the police that HE’S the one who killed Kim.

He’s led away to SONA, which is apparently a prison. But not so fast…we see the Mute Man again, this time looking as though he’s a researcher in a lab. When someone comes in and tells him that they’ve caught Michael Scofield, he’s in Sona, and he’ll probably try to escape again, mute man looks pleased and says they WANT him to try to escape. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Seriously, are we on “Lost” now? Has this whole thing been an experiment? Is Michael a research project? (I know he’s beautiful and brilliant, but c-mon…let women across America believe, even for just one more season, that men like Michael Scofield really exist). What’s real and what’s not? What has been going on the whole time?

The last time we see Michael, he’s walking though the dank, dark, disgusting circus that is the Sona prison, and it’s not hard to believe that even a sane man would lose his mind if confined there for too long. Crazy people in all states of decline and dismay line the walls, and Michael Scofield walks into the light…and into a (hopefully) brighter and more illuminating Season 3.

GMMR: Bravo Michelle! Ok I have a big question for everyone. When Michael was walking through Sona and staring at everyone, there was a guy half naked on the floor and Michael took a minute to stand over the shaking man. I know my eyes are bad but I think it was Bellick? Anyone else see that?

Michelle is the frazzled mother of two very young kids. In lieu of taking a shower every day, she writes TV recaps for GMMR to keep the remaining shred of her sanity intact. This also helps her justify her insanely intense TV-watching habit, which was spawned in her early childhood because she was allowed to watch an unlimited number of”Sesame Street” episodes when she herself was a preschooler.

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