The Cocktail Party Primer (Episode #7)

They Voted Me Off Kid Nation and All I Got was This Lousy Complex

Either I’m feeling cranky because the martini I’m drinking isn’t nearly as icy as it’s supposed to be, or a lot of stuff sucked this week. Of course, I shouldn’t have expected much from a week that kicked off with the Primetime Emmys and then moved on to Lord of the Flies, I mean, Kid Nation. If they’d just gone ahead and debuted Cavemen, it would have been like the Triple Crown of Suck. Luckily, all the TV I really care about gets going next week. Until then, this is what went down on TV, in all its ignominious glory, on the ol’ boob tube this week.

• Apparently, the Emmys were boring. Really? No way! I would never have guessed. Or perhaps I might have. Not that it takes a crystal ball and a connection to the great beyond to guess that a televised award show hosted by Ryan Seacrest and featuring such edge of your seat categories as Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special might be a bit dull. What I didn’t see coming was the way the Fox word police would wield their censorship button, but maybe I should have. As everybody knows, no one poses a more serious threat to our morals and our delicate, virginal ears than that filth-spewing shockmeister Sally Field. Thank God I chose to spend Emmy night wearing earplugs and drinking gin in a bar so I wouldn’t have to depend on the Fox censors to protect me from her immoral influence. With a mouth like Field’s, I knew it was better not to take any chances.

• The only thing I can figure is that the producer’s for The View thought Elizabeth Hasselbeck must be lonely. It must have been hard for her as not only the show’s resident conservative, but also as just about the dumbest person on TV. So they got her a little friend! This week, new The View-ista Sherri Shepherd expressed uncertainty as to whether the Earth was flat or not. She sounds like the perfect cohort for the woman of Hasselbeck’s particular mental acuity. I bet after the taping everyday they go out and set flaming bags of dog poo on Al Gore’s doorstep, ring the buzzer, run, and then just laugh themselves silly.

• Amid a storm of moral and legal concerns, Kid Nation finally aired. Questions of child labor laws and bad parenting choices aside, the show kind of blew. The kids fought, cried, competed for gold stars, and went rabbit hunting in a fake Old West village while surrounded by cameras. So, you know, it was just like real life. Assuming that your childhood involved competing for the love of your elders in the most cruel and sadistic way possible as part of an obvious attempt to parlay the experience into 15 minutes of fame in commercials, or possibly the Disney Channel. Finally, a TV show that really speaks to what is was like growing up for all those poor kids in High School Musical.

• In other news of the suck, Gossip Girl premiered, and with the exception of three-dozen preteen girls somewhere in Connecticut and, reluctantly, our esteemed host here at GMMR, it was generally reviled (Note: I don’t think Mostly Martha was reading the reviews if the GMMRers, many of whom seem to love this show). As someone who loved that apotheosis of teen-oriented soap drama, Beverly Hills 90210, this did not surprise me. I already lived through the trials and tribulations of those Walsh twins from Wayzata, Minnesota, and there’s no droom left in my heart for another group of melodramatic, spoiled teenagers. Without the stirrup pants, teased bangs, and Luke Perry smoldering so hard that it influences a whole generation of girls’ sexuality, Gossip Girls leaves me cold. It’s like the show is to 90210 as lizard in a sweater is to a fluffy little kitten, just a pale imitation.

• What would you get if you combined the subtly and romance of VH1’s Celebreality with MySpace’s sophisticated aesthetic? Flava Flav and Danny Bonaduce making out with each other and flashing their naughty bits in front of a screen filled with sparkly GIFs of dancing kittens while a Panic! at the Disco song plays in the background? That would be awesome, but alas, no. Instead, you get A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila. Judging by the promo released this week, we’re all in for a treat. My only advice is this: if you choose to watch, please engage safe viewing practices. You’ll need to wrap your body in latex and thoroughly disinfect the television afterward. With a show this trashy, there’s no telling what you could catch.

Martha Smith is a San Francisco-based freelance writer and editor. She writes mostly about food, TV, and other things that can be enjoyed while sitting down.

Old McDonald Had a Blog…

While I’m knee deep in Fall shows, take a look at what some of my bestest blogger friends are talking about today:

The SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Death Match finale is today. It’s between Neil & Sabra and Neil & Danny – who will be the victor?  Well, I suppose we already know it’s Neil, but who will join him on the imaginary stage in Ducky’s mind? (Ducky Does TV)

NIP/TUCK never made it on to my TV radar despite rave reviews.  But if you’re a fan, you can get a first look at the S5 promo shots – lots of pretty people. (The TV Addict)

If you’re a fan of SURVIVOR then you’ll want to check out this new interview with Jeff Probst as he breaks down the new season and teases us on what we can expect in China. (Seat42F)

NBC is running another YouTube promo contest, and this one if all about diversity.  Be a H.E.R.O and create yours today. (Office Tally)

Bravo has just introduced one of the new contestants on the upcoming season of PROJECT RUNWAY.  His name is Christian and he thinks he’s “kinda a big deal” – anyone that thinks that, isn’t. (TV with MeeVee)

It thrills me to no end that Kristen Bell is fitting right in with the cast of HEROES. Something tells me she’ll stay on past her 13 episodes. Rae has some amazing video from Emmy night of the cast that you MUST check out. (Ramblings of a TV Whore)

Dunder Mifflin Infinity – Join My Branch Today (Update)

IMPORTANT UPDATE – Please read!!!
It seems that Ryan Howard can’t quite get his act together over at Dunder Mifflin Corporate. I just received an email saying that there was an error processing my Regional Manager application and that I had to re-apply…possibly to another branch. But I’m not giving up hope of managing the MA branch!!!! So, I’m sorry to do this again, but if you are looking to join the MA-Chicopee branch please re-apply and enter this hiring code: nw9w4zx8uk. (I’m not sure what’s going on)

I wish I could say for sure that I knew if this was going to work, but I’m not sure. They’ve had a few issues over there…I wonder if Michael Scott is somehow involved.

(1) Click over to DunderMifflinInfinity.com and register

(2) Once registered apply to be an employee the MA-Chicopee branch and use the code v23qxhnzmk

NOTE: I don’t have confirmation that I was accepted as Regional Manager. I’m pretty sure I will be but I can’t be 100% certain until I get the notification from NBC.

Read more

America’s Next Top Model – Ep #1

I’m a woman of my word, so when I said I was going to be watching this season of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL I wasn’t lying. I watched it, as promised, but I never said I was going to have time to blog about it (come on people, there are only so many hours in a day). So lucky for me, and for all you ANTM fans out there, my BFF just happens to a TV blogger who happens to love Top Model – convenient, right?

So every week, Ducky will be recapping each episode of the show and bringing you the latest on all the high fashion drama. If you’re a fan of Tyra, Mr. & Mrs. Jay and all the future washed up coked out addicts models then read on. Ducky loves to talk ANTM to head over there and dish.

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL premiered last night and aside from singing the Love Boat theme all night, I couldn’t have been happier. Top Model is now in its 9th season and while they’ve had some ups and downs over the years, I’ve always felt that the show is highly entertaining and the cast of characters they gather are usually worth their waifish weight in gold. (continue reading)

FAMILY GUY ‘Star Wars’ Season Premiere

I first caught a sneak peek at the FAMILY GUY season premiere, a hysterical homage to STAR WARS called “Blue Harvest” earlier this summer at Comic-Con. I’ve mentioned it a few times since then, but now I’ve got some of the funniest moments of the episode to share with you.

Here’s a GMMR sneek peak of 3 clips from the FAMILY GUY season premiere which airs on Sunday at 9/8c on Fox.

Click the play button on each of the videos below to watch.
(These clips are property of Fox and should not be used without permission.)

[coolplayer width=”460″ height=”380″ autoplay=”0″ loop=”0″ charset=”utf-8″ download=”1″ mediatype=””]
Family Guy – Darth Vadar Likes Video Games
[/coolplayer]

Read more

Simmons Says to “Keep the LIGHTS On”

I wish I could apologize for the FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS focus on GMMR today, but I can’t. This show is way too important to me, and if there’s a chance I can get even a few of you to watch then it’s worth it.

If you’re a long time reader of GMMR then you know that ESPN columnist, Bill Simmons (aka The Sports Guy) is one of my favorite people on this entire planet. I live to read his columns, and although I’m a die hard Sox fan, it’s not the sports I love reading about. Simmons loves pop culture. He can talk your ear off about 90210, The Hills, The Bachelor, Lohan, Britney and all the rest of ’em. But today Bill Simmons writes about something he’s passionate about – FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHT.

Check out his latest column, which can also be found on The Sports Guy World and in the September 24 issue of ESPN the Magazine. I hope Bill doesn’t mind me reprinting his column, but since it’s doing the job of helping to spread the good word of people of Dillon, TX, I’m sure he won’t mind.

by Bill Simmons, ESPN
If last year’s memorable TV phrase was “Save the cheerleader, save the world,” I’m declaring this year’s to be “Save the show.” NBC is damned close to burying Friday Night Lights, which would be a shame on a number of levels, but none more serious than this one: It’s the greatest sports-related show ever made. Returning for a second season on Oct. 5, it’s a fair bet that FNL will be canceled by Christmas. And when it is, it’s going to be because of people like you.

If you’re reading this, then you should be watching Friday Night Lights.Now, I know only about a thousand people, not counting the anonymous folks in my Barely Legal chat rooms. Since almost two million people subscribe to this magazine, there’s an overwhelming chance we don’t know each other. That said, I feel confident about making the following three generalizations:

No. 1: You’re reading this magazine because you like sports.

Okay, maybe you’re killing time in a doctor’s office, or maybe you stumbled across this issue in an airplane seat pouch, sandwiched between a barf bag and a catalog that sells night-vision goggles. But I’m going with the odds: If you’re reading ESPN The Mag right now, there’s a 96% chance you like sports, a 3% chance you’re killing time — and a 1% chance you’re stoned and think you’re reading Rolling Stone.

PLEASE CONTINUE READING

Read more

Watch FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS S2 Premiere NOW!!

A special thanks to The TV Addict for letting me know that the second season premiere of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS is available to watch NOW (as in right now) on Yahoo!TV.

I got the episode about a week ago but I haven’t watched it yet because I wanted to watch it along with some friends who also love the show, but since you all are going to be watching it, I might as well get on it.  And, um, you all WILL be watching it right?  Even if you’ve never watched an episode you’re going to watch this one, right?  Pretty please with sugar on top?  How about Tim Riggins or Tyra Colette on top?

You Be the Critic..Kid Nation, Back to You, Gossip Girl, Kitchen Nightmares

There were quite a few new Fall shows that premiered last night.  You’ve heard me talk about them a lot over the past week or so, but now I want to hear from you.  If you watched KID NATION on CBS, BACK TO YOU on Fox, GOSSIP GIRL on The CW or KITCHEN NIGHTMARES tell us what you thought about each show.  Are any of them worthy of being talked about each week on GMMR?  Should you fellow GMMR readers give any of these shows a shot.

You be the critic..

GMMR’s Wednesday Night TV Lineup

With a bunch of new shows premiering tonight, some a full week ahead of their same night counterparts, I thought we should take a look at what Wednesday nights will look like once all the Fall season is in full swing. For those of you without DVRs, you’re going to have some tough choices to make…so choose wisely.

Here’s a look at what Wednesday night TV will look like this Fall:

So many shows to choose from, and so little space on the TiVo. Sadly this year’s schedule has forced me into a second DVR which will be installed this afternoon. But what am I suppose to do? Choose between Private Practice, Bionic Woman and Gossip Girl? Yeah, that’s not happening. And the Monday night TV schedule is a whole other story.

GMMR’s Wednesday night TV lineup…
In the grid above, the shows marked with the means that I’m planning on watching it and probably talking about it on GMMR.

Won’t leave the house for fear that my DVR will rebel against me…

• PUSHING DAISIES
• GOSSIP GIRL
• DIRTY SEXY MONEY

TiNoing for later viewing…

• PRIVATE PRACTICE
• BIONIC WOMAN
• AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

For a night-by-night Fall TV grid and to see which shows I plan on watching this fall, click here.

What to Watch…Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Get set TV lovers because tonight is a BIG BIG night for the old boob tube. There’s a bunch of new shows premiering tonight, some of which I’m sure we’ll be talking about tomorrow. So where to start? How about with my #1 pick for TV tonight (and a new personal fave) GOSSIP GIRL.

Gossip Girl | Series Premiere | 9pm on The CW
Privileged students at an exclusive Manhattan prep school keep up on local gossip from a secretive blogger. In the opener, campus It Girl Serena (Blake Lively) returns just as abruptly and mysteriously as she left one year ago.

Hopefully by now you’ve had a chance to read my fall preview for The CW’s GOSSIP GIRL and know just how jazzed I am for tonight’s premiere. You’re going to love it…or hate it – there will be no middle ground. As I’ve said before, leave all your moral judgments at the door and you will have a blast! GOSSIP GIRL is one of my top 5 picks for the new Fall season.

America’s Next Top Model | Season Premiere | 8pm on The CW
The ninth season begins with 33 new contestants embarking on a cruise to the Caribbean. The contestants then compete in a life-jacket runway walk and a photo shoot on the beach before the field gets narrowed down to 13.

Tyra is back and tonight we get to meet the ladies that are in the running to be America’s next top model. I enjoy this show but it’s never been appointment TV for me because it’s always conflicted with something else on my crowded TV schedule. But since this is a favorite of Ducky’s, then I think it’s worth me checking out if for no other reason we can talk about it on the podcast.

Back to You | Series Premiere | 8pm on Fox
A once-popular newscaster duo reunite in this sitcom.After flaming out in L.A., Chuck Darling (Kelsey Grammer) returns to Pittsburgh, where he greets the staff and resumes his love-hate relationship with co-anchor Kelly Carr.

Check out my take on this show in the BACK TO YOU Fall preview. Kelsey Grammar (Frasier) and Patrica Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) know all about creating successful TV, but can they do it again this time around? I think this show is enjoyable enough but I’m not sure it’s one that’s going to be taking up a lot of space here on GMMR but that’s really up to you. If you like the show be sure to let me know.

Kid Nation | Series Premiere | 8pm on CBS
Forty kids, ages 8-15, attempt to create an operating town in 40 days without the help of adults in a former New Mexico ghost town. In the opener, the kids arrive in Bonanza City and begin their task.

I don’t have much to say about this show. I didn’t even create a Fall preview for it. Why? CBS opted not to send out press screeners. Pre-show controversy usually works in favor of a show. People will tune in just to see what all the blather is about. But since the controversy is surrounding the treatment of children, people might stay away from the beginning out of principle. Controversy aside, what little I did hear about the show itself is positive and the premise does sound interesting. But as my friends can attest to, one of the things that creep me out most in this world are child actors. They’re like little demonic beings who look like children but act like adults (see Dakota Fannning)…ew!! I fear that Kid Nation will be filled with these little creatures – I may have nightmares.

Kitchen Nightmares | Series Premiere | 9pm on Fox
This reality series follows chef Gordon Ramsay’s attempts to turn around troubled restaurants. First up: Ramsay visits an Italian eatery in Babylon, N.Y., that’s being run into the ground by its brash manager and co-owner.

This is another one I haven’t seen but it’s getting pretty good buzz. If you’re already a fan of HELL’S KITCHEN then you’ll probably like this one. I’m not a fan of Chef Ramsay so I don’t think this one is for me. That, and I’m kind of squeemish and I don’t want to know just how truly disgusting some restaurant kitchens really are.

Come Rain or Come Shine: From Grey’s Anatomy to Private Practice | 9pm on ABC
In preparation for next Wednesday’s premiere of PRIVATE PRACTICE, we get a one night only special that chronicles the character of Dr. Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh) as she moves from Seattle to L.A., and from “Grey’s Anatomy” to “Private Practice.”

Later today I’ll be posting my Fall preview of PRIVATE PRACTICE. I’ll give you this much – I may come to regret what I said about the Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice crossover ep they showed last May. But is that a good thing or a bad thing? Wait and see.

Last Comic Standing | Season Finale | 9pm on NBC
The winning stand-up comic is revealed in the fifth-season finale, which features a special guest appearance by Dane Cooke and a gathering of the Top 10 finalists.

Which shows are you planning on watching tonight? 

THE OFFICE Season 4 Spoilers & Pics

 Fans of THE OFFICE who do NOT enjoy spoilers of any kind should best stop reading right about now. 

So NBC just released the promo shots for the October 4th episode of THE OFFICE.  The full episode description and pictures (yes I said pictures) are after the jump.  I’m so excited!!!

Read more

Who Won BIG BROTHER? Spoilers!!

Was it Hayden, Enzo or Lane? Who won BIG BROTHER Season 12? Click here to find out: Who Won BIG BROTHER?

Read more

TV Big Shot Launch

If you’ve cursed the TV gods that cancelled your favorite show, argued heatedly about network scheduling decisions and secretly speculated that you could do a better job than the networks’ programmers, here’s your chance to prove it. Television Without Pity (TWOP) presents www.TVBigshot.com, an online season-long game that allows users to play ‘network executive’ by creating their own fantasy network lineups and awarding the individual with the most points a $100,000 grand prize

Starting with a budget of $300 million virtual dollars, each player must purchase shows for their daily primetime lineup. The user-created networks will earn points based on the success of their chosen rosters and will compete against each other for the top spot. At the end of the 2007-08 season, the player whose network has accumulated the most points – based on actual ratings for the programs, ratings growth, and “buzz” measured by press coverage and awards garnered – will win the $100,000 grand prize.

Read more

A Gilmore Girl Returns to TV

One of TV’s finest, yet woefully unacknowledged actresses, Lauren Graham, is returning to TV soon (we hope). The former star of GILMORE GIRLS has struck an exclusive one year talent and deal with NBC.  Is Ben Silverman trying to get on my good side?

The deal was announced today by Ben Silverman, Co-Chairman, NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios, and Marc Hirschfeld, Executive Vice President, Casting.

“Lauren Graham is a fantastic actress and brilliant comedic voice. She’s so respected in the industry and is a huge get for us. She’s sure to be one of our next big NBC stars and we couldn’t be more thrilled to be working with her.” said Silverman.

“I cast Lauren on ‘NewsRadio,’ ‘3rd Rock from the Sun’ and ‘Seinfeld’ early on in her career,” added Hirschfeld. “I’ve been pursuing her aggressively for the past several years after her outstanding work on “Gilmore Girls.” She truly is a gifted television comedy star and we are thrilled to have her back on NBC.”

“I’m thrilled and flattered to be working with NBC. I am impressed by Ben Silverman’s taste and vision for the network, and grateful to have had Marc Hirschfeld’s support over the years. Also, after having spent so many years representing the frog on The WB, I am especially comforted to be part of the only other network with an animal mascot.”

Welcome back Lorelai Gilmore!! May a new show on a new network bring you all the accolades and mega-stardom you so deserve.

Source: The Futon Critic 

Fall Preview: BACK TO YOU

Premiere date: Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Airs: Wednesdays @ 8pm on Fox

In the ’90s, the local TV news scene in Pittsburgh was dominated by one team: CHUCK DARLING (Kelsey Grammer) and KELLY CARR (Patrica Heaton). They had that elusive quality all news teams need: chemistry… at least on-screen. Off-screen, Chuck was a bit of a self-centered womanizer, Kelly a bit of an uptight know-it-all. So when Chuck got the call to move up to a larger market, no tears were shed. But after an embarrassing on-air tirade ended up on the internet, Chuck found himself on the downswing career-wise.

So when he got the call to return to Pittsburgh, to reunite with Kelly and try to take the newscast back to No. 1, it was an offer he couldn’t refuse. Back in Pittsburgh, Chuck has a couple of new co-workers: RYAN CHURCH (Josh Gad), the overstressed news director and MONTANA DIAZ HERRERA (Ayda Field), the perky, sexy weather anchor. There are also familiar faces like MARSH McGINLEY (Fred Willard), the affable, endlessly inappropriate sports anchor, and GARY CREZYZEWSKI, pronounced Kre-shoov-ski (Ty Burrell), the perennially put-upon field reporter who always seems to get left out in the snow. But, mostly, there’s Kelly, now a single mom to 10-year-old GRACIE (Laura Marano). There was magic between them once. Can they find it again?

FRASIER and EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND were two of the most successful comedies of all time, but neither were ever appointment TV for me. Great in reruns, but it’s just not the type of comedy I make room for on my TiVo. So as you can imagine I wasn’t banging down the door to watch a pilot starring Kelsely Grammar and Patrica Heaton. But, I gotta tell ya…although BACK TO YOU might not make it my season pass, it’s definitely worth you checking out. The pilot had a lot of really funny moments that had me laughing out loud (which came as quite the surprise to moi). The supporting cast are all character actors who are a bit over the top in the pilot, but will probably settle down after the first few eps. An interesting (if not predictable) twist will bring some heart to this workplace comedy. The use of the laugh track was a bit distracting, but only because I don’t hear it much lately. I have a feel this show will be a big hit for the Raymond/Frasier demographic. If it weren’t for other shows on at the same time, I’d probably be watching BACK TO YOU. I’m interested to hear what you all think about it.

Read more

« Previous Page — Next Page »