Live Blogging AMERICAN IDOL – South Cackalacky

I’m home and watching, so I might as well LIVE blog tonight’s AMERICAN IDOL. I’m just a few minutes behind you all, but I’ll be caught up soon enough. I can’t say that my commentary is going to be all that exciting, but feel free to watch along with me and comment as we go.

Tonight Ryan, Paula, Randy and Simon are in South Carolina. The dirrty South usually has a lot to offer (good and bad) so fingers crossed. On to the auditions. (The most recent comments will be at the top)

• OMG, that’s it?  It’s over?  Damn, another boring IDOL audition show.  Is it Hollywood week yet?

• Oliver was ready to audition but his wife went into labor. Way to rip off Phil Stacey. This guy is adorable, and as of this moment I haven’t heard him sing but I want him to do well. He’s such a cutie. He named his daughter Emma Grace – love the name Emma (hey Em love Auntie). I really loved him, but the judges weren’t on board. Awwww. I’ve heard worse auditions make it. I don’t always get it.

• What’s wrong with me? I’m finding Seacrest all kinds of hot tonight. “The Moment of Truth” kind of makes me sick. I had to sit with the producer last week and interview him when all I wanted to do was spit on him for leaving this country worse off than he found it.

• If you think you are good enough to pull off “I Am Telling You” from Dreamgirls for your audition then I can pretty much guarantee that you suck. Why do people here have such attitude. What planet do these people live on?

• Aretha’s chest is 100% distracting. She thinks she’s as good as Fantasia and all the rest of the Idols. She started off well but she went off way the hell off track. Ugh, she has so much attitude that she needs a kick in her head.

• Military chick has amazing eyes, and I’m kind of mesmerized by them. Her nerves are clearly affecting her pitch, but I am digging her. I think with a bit more confidence she has good potential. She has a nice stage presence. Aw, I’m bummed she didn’t make it through.

• Holy Hell Paula – what are you wearing?! Someone needs to get that woman a mirror and remind her that no 58 year old woman should dress like that.

• Wow, just reading what I’ve written so far and it sucks. Sorry. I clearly don’t have my snark working for me tonight. I guess I don’t really have anything interesting to say. Why are you even reading this? Go read a book or something

• I’m all caught up with you guys now. Ugh, another sob story. London took time off from signing to take care of her ailing father. I’m such a bitch, but I think these people pimp their sad tales for the sake of back story and it’s kind of annoying. This chick could get in on her looks alone. She’s not all that great, but she’s good enough to make it through.

• The captain of the cheerleaders is all holier than thou, but you know she’s secretly a dirty little whore. She’s giving Simon an abstinence speech – are you kidding me? She should be shot. She has a decent voice (nothing special) but she’s going to Hollywood anyway. Simon thinks people will find her annoying – I already am. The good news? She’ll be corrupted by the end of the first week…probably by Seacrest.

• The Carrie Underwood wannabe’s are butchering “Before He Cheats” and I’m a little angry because I still love this song. Dude if you don’t know the words, why don’t you just audition with “Happy Birthday” or “Old McDonald”. I don’t get it.

• The Lampkin brother and sister team are kind of freaky (at least the brother is) but they give one hell of an audition doing a duet of “I’m Your Angel” by R. Kelly and Celine Dion. I wasn’t expecting that. Both are through to Hollywood.

• American Idol’s first love connection are making me ill. The lovebirds met on an American Idol message boards, and now they are auditioning together. They are also making out which is so wrong that my eys are bleeding. These two need to stick to the internet, and by that I mean, never sing again.

• Is everyone from Albemarle, NC just as crazy as Kellie Pickler? DeAnna (not to be confused with Deana) is angry and a little scary. Thankfully she’s not heading to Hollywood.

• The black Clay Aiken doesn’t have the worst voice, but his performance is so over the top that he’s annoying. Had he toned down the theatrics he probably would be going to Hollywood.