AMERICAN IDOL – Top 7 Perform

First off, please let me apologize for just posting the AMERICAN IDOL recap now.  A day late I’m afraid. As it turns out, I have VERY limited internet access here on the island. Good news and bad news I guess.

But although IDOL is over you must read this hilarious IDOL recap by Glenn and Deb.  I got to read it at the airport yesterday and I was laughing my ass off.  Much better than I’ll ever do. 

So here you go…the IDOL recap.  Be sure to show the love!!

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Before we get started, we would like to thank our GMMR host for giving us this opportunity to publicly voice our non-valued opinions about a TV show which we are passionate about. So let’s get started….

Mariah Carey is the theme…We can’t wait to see how many of our Idol contestants pick songs from the “Glitter” soundtrack. And God help us if we have to hear about how Randy produced multiple Mariah albums.

A few things worth mentioning about some of the contestants before the show starts, after all, this is our first blog!

Brook – Mentally unstable. The only thing that would make me happier than never having to hear her sing again, would be, never having to listen to her talk again. Her post performance interviews are more painful than Paula’s commentary. Time to go.

Kristy Lee Cook – Apparently there are a lot more people down south who have sold enough farm raised corn to obtain a TV from Rent-A-Center and pay a monthly cable bill than I had ever imagined. She should have never made it past Hollywood week.

Syesha Mercado – “OK” singer, I just don’t care.

David Archuleta – I’m convinced he is a victim of some sort of emotional abuse, the obvious “attacker” would be his father who we all know has been getting a bad rep lately. I however think there is an uncle or a former sociopath music teacher who used to play piano while young David worked on his vocals. Regardless, it was probably for the best, he sings like angel.

Does Ryan Secrest work with a coach on syllable emphasis? I hate his beginning show introduction. “ThIs IS amerICAN (pause) IDOL”….yeah, we know chief.

Important to note, Paula just said “differ” instead of “defer” during the pre-performance blubber.

Fast forward the DVR and here we are to our first contestant…

David Archuleta – picks “When you believe” and a striking pair of leather pants that would make any pedophile happy. This performance was “in his wheel house” and “alright for me dog”. Randy thought it was the bomb, Paula looked good in fast forward, Simon thought it was a solid performance and that the boys will do much better than the girls, due to less comparison to the great Mariah. David’s speaking voice is just bizarre.

Up next, Carly Smithson. Chooses “Without you”. Deb thinks Carly is pregnant. I’m thinking “I hope they pan to her husband in the audience”. What type of unspeakable horrors happen to you as a child that results in having your face covered in tattoos? Anyway, here is our performance review: she started the song to low and when the song called for power, all we heard was strain. When Carly took risks to change the song, they didn’t pay off. Randy agrees that the beginning was “loosey goosey”, Paula just defecated from her mouth, Simon doesn’t think she stood up to the song. Deb and Glenn are right on point with the judges.

Did we just see that kid from “Head of the Class” in the audience?

Syesha Mercado – Gets the award for the “most awkward meeting of a celebrity”. She walks up to Mariah with a quick pace then comes to a crashing halt. No intro handshake or fake hug, the fake hug comes at the end and is followed up with the nauseating cheek to cheek air kiss. Syesha picks “Vanishing”. Her performance was good, I actually enjoyed it and I’m not a fan. It brought Deb back to her “kid bedroom” with visions of Mariah and NKOTB posters on the wall. Randy though it was a good performance despite a few “pitchy” moments. Paula, incoherent, Simon thought that the performance was very good technically, but fears that she may be in danger for picking a song that is not as popular as some of the other Mariah hits. He thinks Archuletta is currently the one to beat.

Brook White – chooses “Hero” which she sings while playing piano. No backup band, dare I say “heroic”? Why is she always shaking, is she cold? Hungry? Diabetic? Scared of Carly Smithson’s husband? Or just strung out? Call us critical, but neither one of us can stand the way she breathes into the mic. Anyway, the performance was weak. My wife farts out better musical notes. Brook just doesn’t have the strength to carry any Mariah song. I guess she did the best she could with her limited talent. I do love the irony that she is most likely going home one week after missing her sister’s wedding. To the judges…Simon said it best “it was like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun”.

Kristy Lee Cook – picks “Forever” and gave Mariah “chills” during rehearsals. I think the chills are really coming from the way the rehearsal piano player is staring at her with his stalker eyes. Is she actually getting better each week? I really hope not. Anyway, Deb loved it. I however still want her to go home. I’ll never get over Beatles week. The judges thought it was ok, nothing “great”. I think Paula rambled the longest thus far tonight.

David Cook – unusual choice, “Always be my baby”, but what else could he pick on Mariah night. I’m personally already excited, pretty sure Chris Cornell hasn’t previously covered this one. The song seemed to start a bit flat but it didn’t take long for him to turn this performance into pure magic. I think the song is unbelievable, Deb thinks it’s by far the most original, but didn’t love the vocals. Then, the camera scans the audience to find David’s brother who is fighting cancer, standing, clapping his brother on. David sheds a tear at the end as did we. Randy stands up for the first time this season, he thinks this performance is the “BOMB”. Paula thinks this song could be on a movie soundtrack, Simon thought this performance “is the sign of a great potential artist, someone who takes risks”.

Jason Castro – Deb thinks he looks like a Fraggle from Fraggle Rock and she is dead on. I can’t help but wonder if anyone has though of drug testing this kid. He’s seems to live in a state of mild sedation which we all find to be humorous. So here we go…Jason blesses us with “I don’t want to cry”. We think it’s another outstanding smooth, crocked mouth performance. Randy didn’t care for it. After 10 minutes, I decipher that Paula liked it, and Simon agrees with Paula, he thought is was a great performance.

So after a great deal of debate, here is our final summary, 1 being the best, 7 the worst:

David Cook
Jason Castro
Syesha Mercado
David Archuleta
Kristi Lee Cook
Carly Smithson
Brook White

Talk to you all again tomorrow night! We can’t wait,

Deb, Glenn, and sidekick “Toots McGee”