BIG BROTHER 10: I’ll Be Watching You

There was a story a couple of months back about an American student that was arrested in Egypt. On his way to the police station, before they took away his cell phone, he managed to Twitter the word ‘Arrested’. The ‘twit’ was received by his friends and colleagues who sprang into action to get him released.Why am I telling you this?  Well, because once again Twitter came to the aid of someone in need last night.  That person?  Me.

Completely preoccupied with playing with my new iPhone I completely blanked on last night’s season premiere of BIG BROTHER 10. But luckily for me, Rae from Ramblings of a TV Whore twittered about watching the show and I got to my TV in just the nick of time.  Whew.  I don’t want to even think of what would have happened if it weren’t for Rae. My first born is going straight to you my friend.

Lucky for us (or unlucky depending on your view) my drama wasn’t the only BIG BROTHER drama last night.  Nope, the sparks started flying about a minute after the new houseguests entered the house for the first time. (Note: this is a ridiculously long and self indulgent recap of last night’s premiere.  Don’t get used to it…there is no way BB10 will get these many words in the weeks to come.)

The game before the game…
For the first time in BB history the game began before the houseguests even got inside. After the obligatory and cheesy houseguest introductions (intro from teacher Dan:‘My name is Dan and I’m going to school the competition.’) the new roomies assembled on the stairs and heard for the first time heard the oh so familiar voice of the ChenBot.  Julie informed them that despite not yet having a chance to talk to one another, the houseguests were going to choose the first Head of Household (HOH) via secret ballot – before they were allowed into the house. The votes were cast but the HOH wouldn’t be revealed until later that day.  Nothing like having to kiss ass early in the game…but whose ass is worth smooching?  Damn, they had to be nice to everyone…I hate when that happens.

Getting to know the houseguests…
I guess this is as good a time as any to briefly talk about the 13 new contestants on this season of BIG BROTHER.  Check out this video introduction of the houseguests to learn a bit more.  Or read my completely superficial notes I scribbled down as each of the contestants was revealed.  Nothing like judging a book by its cover…or a girl by her job at Hooters.

• April – This year’s Boobs McPhee.  She said she is perfect. Perfectly annoying.
• Jerry – The 75 year old great grandfather. He’s not lasting long here. Bye Gramps.
• Dan – Teacher and a staunch Republican. Yeah, that’s going to get old quick.
• Libra – Mother of three with 5 month old twins.  Nothing like having your priorities straight.
• Renny – Obnoxious wannabe cougar from New Orleans
• Ollie – Preacher’s son.  I hope he’s fun because he’s hot.
• Steven – Gay rodeo champion.  They have a gay rodeo?
• Brian – He’s from San Francisco and that’s all we know.  I bet he has a secret.
• Memphis – Bartender who thinks highly of himself.  How original.
• Angie – I can’t believe Nick Lachey let Vanessa Minillo into the house.
• Keesha – Hooters girl. I wonder if she chose that to be her defining quality or if it was the producers.
• Jesse – Body builder.  CBS was toting this guy as the hot guy in the house?  I beg to differ.
• Michelle – No Boston contestants this year but this chick is from Rhode Island.  Close enough.  RI doesn’t really count as a state anyway.

Ok, so the contestants finally enter the house and do the obligatory running around and screaming like banshees thing as they mentally size up the competition and figure out who in the house they will be having sex with under the romantic infrared camera lights.

Champagne is served and the houseguests introduce themselves.  Nothing too interesting here.  Steven is opting not to come out right yet. April’s boobs are real and everyone got a chance to grab them (including Gramps Jerry).  Libra is in a bi-racial marriage and one of her twins is black and the other is white. How interesting. Oprah is already trying to book them as guests.  Oh and yes, despite seeming somewhat normal I am still figuring out how Libra is leaving her 5 month old twins home?!

Let the games begin…
With only an hour long show tonight, the ChenBot informs the houseguests that the first competition begins now. The contestants run to the backyard to see their first challenge. They find two upside down VWs suspended from a zip line above them. Two teams are formed and each needs to get all their members into the car above and collectively get themselves across the line to the other side of the yard and grab a can of gas. After they bring the gas back to the other side of the yard, one of the contestants has to jump out of the car to deliver the gas and in doing so eliminates themselves from the competition.  The last person remaining in the car for the winning team wins the big prize – a vintage car! And the winning team wins food privileges for the week.  Yup, the losing team spends their first week in the BB10 house on slop.  Ugh.

The Red and White teams were off and the Red team took an early lead and held on to easily win the competition.  The last two contestants remaining on the Red team, Steven and Memphis, both needed the car.  But after a failed game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Steven jumped out essentially handing over the keys to Memphis.

The first HOH is…
After the competition it is revealed that Jerry received the most votes and was elected the first HOH of BB10. And with that alliances are being formed and the scheming is underway.  Dan makes the Big Brother rookie mistake of trying to form alliances after being in the house less than one day.  Way to overplay, Teach.  Based on looks alone, Dan forms an alliance with Brian and they decide to bring in Ollie.  Within minutes these guys are already making deals behind one other’s back and pledging their undying devotion to take one other to the end.  Ugh, for this reason alone I want these guys gone (ok not Ollie and Brian because they’re kinda hot).  Come on already.  You don’t know these guys at all and your promising to protect them?  Ollie, the preacher’s son, gave Dan his word – the only thing he has in this house.  Is that equivalent to someone swearing on their kid’s life?  I can’t wait for that to happen. We really need to pull together a Big Brother drinking game. (Note to self: start pulling together the rules).

As the houseguests mingle and get ready for bed, we learn that Renny, (the wannabe cougar from New Orleans) is the most annoying houseguest in all ten seasons of Big Brother.  She’s loud, obnxious, she wears cheap wigs, and laughs like a jackal (Jesse’s words not mine, but I agree). I’m going to get in trouble here, but this woman is sterotypical Long Island – complete with the annoying accent (hey, don’t throw stones…you are talking to a girl from Boston here.  I know all about bad accents).  Yeah, I’m pretty much hating Renny and I hope that she’s back on Bourban Street soon.  So does Jesse who is not pleased when Renny’s booming voice wakes him from his slumber.  He compains to her and she fauxpoligizes and tells him to ‘lighten up’.  Game on.

I nominate ___ for evicition….
Before too long Jerry has to choose the first two houseguests up for eviction.  In an almost sad moment, Jerry forms an alliance with Brian (who already has an alliance with Dan and Ollie).  You can almost see that Brian feels bad giving his word to the old man, especially after Jerry says that he felt he could trust Brian because they were both military men.  But this is BB and Brian is playing the game.  He tells Jerry that because of their conflict the previous night, he should nominate Jesse and Renny.  And that’s just what Jerry did.

Will it be Jesse or Renny that goes home?  And will someone win the coveted Golden Power of Veto and change the nominations?

BIG BROTHER 10 will be back on Tuesday night at 8pm and Wednesday at 9 with all new episodes.  And tune in on Sunday for the live eviction.  And for those of you who have Showtime, watch BIG BROTHER AFTER DARK every weeknight from midnight to 3am (yeah, I have Showtime now…this is going to be a problem).

Whew…ok I’m exhausted.  It’s just not necessary for anyone to spend that much time talking about BIG BROTHER.  If you watched you best leave me a comment and contribute to this conversation or I’m going to be a very sad blogger.