It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Two Hours of Philly Fun

“America’s Next Top Paddy’s Billboard Model Contest” and “Mac’s Banging the Waitress”There are so many things that happened in these episodes, it’s going to be difficult for me to even include all of it, but I’ll try my hardest to get you the essentials!

We immediately start off our hour long “It’s Always Sunny” night (aren’t back-to-back episodes just fantastic?!) with Frank berating Charlie, Dee, Mac and Dennis about unnecessary “business expenses,” such as a $5,000 samurai helmet for bar security. Oh, and Frank also spends some hard-earned cash on a billboard, you know, so he can be 40 feet tall and surrounded by two big-breasted models – the important things in life.

Meanwhile, Dee works on her YouTube project – with Charlie as her loyal little assistant (we all know what happens when he’s on the job) – playing different ethnic characters like Crazy Patty (Irish), feisty Martina Martinez (Latina) and a stereotypical Chinese lady with oversized teeth. And because Charlie knows when he has something good going on, the Green Man (reference back to season 3) makes some not-so-subtle appearances in the video segments.

But as we all know, the gang doesn’t just complete their tasks like normal, law-abiding citizens. Nope, they’re much better (and I mean stupider) than that. Instead, Paddy’s has its first official “America’s Next Top Paddy’s Billboard Model” contest with not only hot female models (as expected), but some hot “beefcakes,” much to Dennis’ chagrin (who is still trying to get his modeling career off the ground). It is revealed that Dennis’ dream is to have a billboard version of himself so everyone else can see how hot his bod is, but is he willing to step in a pile of shit to do it – literally? Apparently, fellow over-muscled model competitor Rex is. Also, Dennis’ photo shoot, which is literally a cross between a country barn (complete with hay) and a porn session, looked like a moment caught before a manly orgasm of sorts.

While Charlie might not be the sharpest of the bunch (he might as well be the dumbest, most illiterate thing ever alive), he knows viral success when he sees one! After viewing a hard day’s work of filming Dee on the streets of Philadelphia, PatheticGirl43 (a spoof of LonelyGirl15), is born! A funny moment arises when a man recognizes Dee in her Chinese get-up as YouTube persona and voila, 80,000 hits later they have finally found their niche. In a scary way, Charlie made Dee a bonafide star, if only temporarily.

Mac, wanting to get in on the dating game, uses the Paddy’s modeling contest to find his true soul mate, only his criteria consists of if the girls banged him and if they banged each other. Let’s just say that, in true reality show style (time-wasting and prolonged

In the second half hour, Charlie gets weird when he finds out that the Waitress, the girl he’s had a crush on since season 1, possibly has a new boyfriend. In an effort to see who this new guy is, he asks Mac, who he calls his best friend (to which Dennis becomes a little too obsessed with Charlie), to do some stealth-like spying.

Dennis: “How is Mac your best friend over me?”
Charlie: “’Cause you banged the Waitress.”

So Mac, like the best friend he is, bangs the Waitress. OK, so we don’t really see that onscreen, but it’s quite clear he’s the dude Charlie is suspicious of when he runs over to the Waitress’ apartment and says, “I think Charlie is onto us.” Oh, what a messed up web of lies and deceit these supposed best friends live in.

Dennis, jealous like a teenage schoolgirl, tells Charlie that Mac is 100% acting like a guy who is hiding something huge, after all are there really that many Don Johnsons in Philly who could be sleeping with the Waitress? At this point, Dennis invites Charlie to his bed, because they’re the real best buds. And to complicate things – these men like to make the ridiculous even more absurd – Mac and Dennis form brotherhood (by blood) and Mac buys Dennis his own walkie talkie for some reconnaissance work. (It’s sad when that’s what makes a grown man happy.) While this is happening, Charlie wakes up and conveniently pees in Dennis’ bed.

Even though it seems like I’ve covered everything that happened in both episodes, I’m not even going to mention how much I had to leave out because there were just too many subtle nuances and innuendos that weren’t necessarily related to exposition, but more because they were disgusting, hilarious or fantastically quotable. So in an effort to try to include the priceless morsels of comedic genius, here are some of the best moments of “Sunny”:

Quotable Lines…
– Dennis: “Frank, you’re ugly.”
– Charlie (about Dee’s Irish Crazy Patty character): “It’s like a bad commercial on a cable network.”
– Mac: “2003 Dennis was prime beefcake. 2008 Dennis is in decline.”
– Dee: “It’s like I have a rash where a sexually active person should have a rash.”
Charlie: “GREEN MAN!”
– Dennis: “I think Mac’s bangin’ the Waitress.”
– Mac (to Charlie): “Don’t piss on the couch because you’ve done it before.”
– Charlie: “You should see Frank’s balls. They’re like planets.”

Quick Takes…
– Do you agree that Dennis’ body was proportioned to the body of “David” by Michelangelo? “David” is such a masterpiece, but is Dennis ready to take over as a beautiful sculpted being?
– My favorite Dee YouTube persona has to be Martina Martinez, “quick with the sassy comeback.”
– I wonder what prompted Dee to make that diary entry video …
– Mac’s “Project Badass” is perhaps one of the dumbest ideas, but entertaining for all the wrong reasons, I have ever seen. Is Mac really that much of a badass in the first place?
– Mac is secretly in love with Dennis’ thighs, which brought me to realize: I am secretly in love with Charlie’s thermal leg sock thing (… that spells like pee).

Funny Moments…
– As a compromise for Dennis’ desire to get Frank’s company credit card so he can buy his own billboard to show of his “amazing” body, “YouTube sensation” Dee interviews Dennis, but Green Man kicks him in the balls.
– Frank goes on with his original billboard plan the day after Dennis told him he was ugly and would never be on a billboard ever. The contest was strictly a formality.
– Dennis videotapes all the chicks he bangs, and alphabetizes them by name!
– Mac, Dennis and Charlie have a minor orgy … not really, but it might as well have been.
– Mac and the Waitress walk in and see Charlie and Dennis in a rather compromising position in Frank and Charlie’s apartment. They totally humped each other, by the way.
– Charlie wants to look like a starfish in the bed because it’s a good hiding spot.

— posted by Philiana

Philiana Ng is from San Francisco, CA but currently lives in Los Angeles. She is currently a television reporter and columnist for the Daily Trojan of USC. Her favorite TV shows are “Pushing Daisies,” “The Office” and “Alias,” among many others. She plans on being a Captain Hammer groupie for Halloween.