DIRTY SEXY MONEY Knows How to Throw a Birthday Party

I must say that although I really enjoyed last season of DIRTY SEXY MONEY, I wasn’t overly excited about season 2.  Perhaps it was the long lull since we last saw a new episode (thanks WGA strike).  But right from the start of last night’s season premiere, there was a buzz, an energy that came from watching those darling Darlings.   I’m now officially excited that the show is back.

And I’m officially excited to introduce you to Gretchen that will be dishing the dirt on the Darlings all season long.  Let’s taps our champagne flutes to properly welcome her.

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Dirty Sexy Money – The Birthday Party
Season Two opens with Nick looking sharp and riding in a limo. On the radio we can hear some talk about the event that Nick is apparently about to attend. I know I should be paying attention to what the reporter is saying, but the opening notes of “Under Pressure” distract me. Am I doomed to have “Ice Ice Baby” stuck in my head for the remainder of the episode? (Unfortunately, Vanilla Ice was much more a part of my formative years than either Queen or David Bowie). Thankfully, so much happens in the first few minutes of the show to pique my interest that my mind is quickly back on track.

Ain’t No Party Like A Darling Party
Tripp and Leticia have thrown a full out red carpet event for Nick’s birthday – on a yacht. In the first few minutes it becomes quite clear through various cryptic exchanges and furtive glances that a lot has been happening since we last saw the gang: Patrick and Tripp have apparently reconciled, Brian has been spending some serious time in the sun, something is up with Karen and Nick (even more than usual), Tripp and Karen are still conspiring, Nick and Lisa are having problems, and the impending landing of a police helicopter suggests that someone just might be getting arrested.

48 Hours Earlier…
Things settle down a bit as we rewind. Nick and Lisa are having their daily argument about the Darlings. This time it is over how they will spend Nick’s birthday. Lisa was looking forward to spending it alone with Nick, but Nick feels that they are obligated to attend the “small and simple” gathering that the Darlings have planned for him. After the usual banter about how the Darlings are taking over their lives, they reach a compromise. They will ship Kiki off to the grandparents’ house (once again) so that they can enjoy a quiet dinner celebration together that very evening. Nick promises that nothing will make him miss their date. Silly Nick, won’t you ever learn?

Parenting 101
We learn that Patrick and Tripp have been estranged for the past 6 months. After much effort, Nick has successfully arranged a meeting between the two. The meeting does not go smoothly. Patrick claims to no longer be under the influence of Simon Elder (I wonder why those two broke up) but that is not enough to make Tripp happy. Tripp slams Patrick for the way that he is managing his public image – his preoccupation with the “vanished” Carmelita is literally driving Ellen to drink, quite publicly no less. Patrick storms out, claiming that he will never ask Tripp for help ever again. Didn’t anyone ever tell Patrick to never say “never”?

Things are going much better for Brian and Brian Jr., who are enjoying an extended visitation. What was supposed to be a week’s visit has turned into several weeks, thanks to some kind of red tape issue with Brian Jr. and Andrea’s Brazilian visas. Brian is furious with Tripp when the issue gets resolved, thinking that Tripp had something to do with it, but Tripp feigns innocence. I think I believe him. But if Tripp wasn’t responsible, who was? It’s great to see Brian building a relationship with Brian Jr., but what about Mei Ling Hwa and the girls? No mention is made of Brian’s estranged wife or his two perfectly coiffed little girls.

Crisis Management
In this week’s task at hand, Nick is called upon by Patrick and Tripp to help cover up Ellen’s death. ELLEN”S DEATH!!! Yes, Ellen bites the dust in this episode. Already drunk and angry, Ellen becomes furious and violent after she discovers that Patrick has hired a PI to find Carmelita. She attacks Patrick while he is in the shower, shattering glass everywhere, but succeeds only in killing herself after she slips and bangs her head on the bathroom counter. I know I should have been feeling concern about the death of Ellen during this scene but all I could think about was the amount of broken glass that Patrick was stepping on as he rushed to her side.

Who does Patrick call immediately for help? Not 911, that’s for sure. He calls Tripp – see what I meant about never saying “never”. Tripp comes, but really just for moral support. Tripp calls Nick to come and do the actual taking care of things. Nick wants nothing to do with the situation. After sarcastically offering some “sage advice” – take the body somewhere and burn it – Nick offers his real advice – call the police – and leaves. Tripp and Patrick decide to go with Plan A. Since Nick isn’t on board with this approach, it is up to Clark the Chauffeur to oblige. Clark is sent off to the country house with Ellen’s body and a lighter in tow. How much are they paying this guy anyway? Seriously, does he get a yacht for his birthday?

Stalk Much?
It appears that ever since they chillaxed and shared a kiss at the gallery 6 months ago, Lisa has become the object of Jeremy’s affection. Although she spurns his advances, she lets down her guard when Jeremy arrives at the restaurant instead of Nick who is very late to his birthday dinner date. Two bottles of wine later, Lisa and Jeremy are leaving the restaurant, none too sober. Once again Lisa claims to have no feelings for Jeremy but then they share another kiss outside of the restaurant – just as Nick pulls up in a cab! Nick quickly retreats, ignoring Lisa as she runs across the street to explain.

When he’s not busy stalking Lisa, Jeremy is being stalked by Lucy Liu. She approaches him in a bar, offers him a bit of relationship advice, and, after what seems to be their second meeting, they end up having a racy tryst in the back of a limousine. I love Lucy Liu and was super excited about her joining the cast, but so far I’m not feeling overly intrigued by her character. Maybe it’s because she is being paired up with Jeremy, who really is in many ways just a pathetic little boy. I suspect that she is using him for some devious higher purpose, but until we find out what that might be, I remain unimpressed.

In Other Things Love Triangle/Square/Pentagon Related
Karen is up to her usual antics. Lounging half-naked in Simon Elder’s apartment while she waits for him to prepare her a gin and orange juice, minus the OJ, Karen snoops through Simon’s things. She stops scrolling through his Blackberry and grabs a figurine of a swan instead, just as he enters the room.

It turns out that Simon loves Karen, or so he says. Karen is a bit uncomfortable with this notion so she heads to Nick for some Ex-therapy. Standing naked in Nick’s office, Karen appears to be offering Nick a little more than just grappa for his birthday. Nick turns her away at this visit, but calls her back for a little grappa sharing after he sees Lisa kissing Jeremy. But this time it is Karen who turns down Nick because she is thinking of Simon. What? Karen loves Simon? Karen is choosing someone over Nick? Again, I say – WHAT??

At this point I’m totally confused on the Karen/Simon relationship. The phrase “Who’s zooming who?” keeps coming to mind – not that I’m much of an Aretha Franklin fan, although I do enjoy a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T. as much as the next woman. Anyway, I digress. Is there some real love going on in this relationship or are they both pretending? Karen’s obviously still working for Daddy since we find out at the end of the episode that it was the swan figurine she was handing to Tripp in the opening scene. Simon’s also up to something – who did he call with his cryptic “We got her” message? Could it be…….Lucy Liu??? Let’s hope so!

This Week’s “Who Killed Dutch” Headline
Leticia did it!!! The police helicopter landing at the yacht party is not there for Patrick, it is there for Leticia who is being arrested for the murder of Dutch. We’ll have to find out the why, where, and how in later episodes. Anyone else see this coming? Apparently my husband did because this little development caused him to do a victory dance around our living room, while gleefully chanting, “I told you so!!” repeatedly. But I’m feeling skeptical — I’m not convinced yet that she did it. What do you think?

Parting Thoughts
Was anyone else distracted by all of the new hairstyles? Even after re-watching the episode, I’m not used to Karen’s bangs. Did Karen steal the bangs that Natalie stole from Juliet last season? On the flip side, I’m loving Nick’s much less pork-choppy sideburns.

Speaking of Juliet, what the heck happened to her? No one so much as mentioned her name, let alone offered up any type of explanation as to why she was missing.

Favorite Quotes:

• Jeremy to Lisa about their gallery kiss –
• “We kissed…I mean, it wasn’t “The Notebook”, but…”
• Patrick to Ellen, in response to, “What did I ever do to you?” —
• “You shot me in the leg. Does that ring a bell?”
• Karen, after Simon tells her that he loves her —
• “Thank you. I think you’re really neat, too.”

– Posted by Gretchen

So who watched with me? Did you see the Letitia storyline coming?  Thoughts on the Darlings and their woes?

Gretchen is a stay-at-home mom of two awesome little girls who has the good fortune of being married to a husband who is completely cool with her slightly out of control television addiction. During her precious few sleeping hours, Gretchen frequently finds herself ridding the world of pesky vampires and demons, as well as taking down fake secret branches of the CIA.