Dirty Sexy Money – The Family Lawyer; The Darlingest Darling of Them All

Tonight on “VIP Insider”, a fictional version of an Entertainment Tonight/Access Hollywood type of show, the Darling Curse is the top story. The only slightly sensationalized storyline covers Ellen Darling’s death in the suspicious fire at Valhalla (the Darling Family’s country estate) and Leticia Darling’s recent arrest for the murder of Dutch George. Anyone else feeling reminiscent for True Hollywood Story: The Echolls Family? Oh, Veronica Mars, how I miss you so…

Family Matters
The Darling Enterprises Board of Directors is feeling a bit unsettled about the company’s current Vice-Chair, Leticia Darling, given her whole murder arrest predicament. The Board pressures Tripp to name a new successor to Darling Enterprises. In typical Tripp fashion, he instructs Nick to advise him as to which of his children should be named as the new Vice-Chair.

All of the siblings, aside from Jeremy (and the absent Juliet) seem to think that they either are, or should be, the obvious candidate. Karen and Patrick both approach Nick about it, but it is Brian whom Nick ultimately recommends. In a not-so-shocking turn of events, Tripp disregards Nick’s recommendation and appoints Nick to the position at a live press conference, putting Nick on the spot and in the spotlight.

Once again we see Tripp treating Nick like he is family. It seems that Nick is starting to buy into it, too. Last week he accepted the outrageous gift of a yacht and this week he seemingly accepts the position as Tripp’s empire heir without putting up a fight. The more that he protests that he is not a Darling, the more that Nick starts to act like one…

The Puppet Masters
It’s getting hard to tell who’s secretly pulling the strings on this show anymore. When Leticia’s celebrity defense lawyer’s paperwork was conveniently misplaced so that Nick had to step in and take his place, it seemed like Tripp was directing destiny. Who would have thought that it was Brian who had orchestrated that little trick? Either way, both Tripp and Brian got their wish – Nick will be representing Leticia. I know virtually nothing about the legal system but it is hard to believe that the victim’s son would be allowed to serve as the defense lawyer for the accused murderer. But Tripp and Brian have it right; it does seem to be a surefire way to guarantee that Leticia is not found guilty.

Speaking of string pulling, Simon Elder continues to work in mysterious ways. He is definitely playing all sides of some sinister game; I just have no idea as to what that game is. This week he worked on driving a wedge between Karen and Nick and it looks like it just might have worked. When Nick was appointed as Tripp’s successor, the look on Karen’s face held no trace of the lusty looks that she usually gushes Nick’s way.

Rest In Peace, Ellen Darling
Strangely enough, one of the lighter moments of the evening came at Ellen’s memorial service. Taking Nick’s advice, Patrick wrote the eulogy about Carmelita and then substituted Ellen’s name for Carmelita’s throughout it, causing Brian to describe Patrick as “delirious with grief”. Kenny G performed (albeit briefly) and the cops crashed the event to apprehend Leticia who should have been at home, under conditions of house arrest. Brian was full of his usual spunky anger and exchanged a few choice words with the cops. One thing led to another, punches were thrown, and Nick and Brian ended up in a jail cell.

Marriage Counseling
Picking up where they left off last season, Nick and Lisa are toying with the idea of having a second child. They both seem to be using it as a device to repair their already damaged (and rapidly becoming more so by the minute) marriage. Not a good idea. I repeat, NOT A GOOD IDEA!!

Who Killed Dutch?
Leticia’s on trial for it, but Brian seems to think that Tripp is the man behind it. After his little talk with Nick as they shared a cell, it seems like Nick is thinking the same thing, too.

Perks of Being a Darling
1. If you get arrested for murder, fear not. A dozen bankers are available to come waltzing into the courtroom with shiny metal briefcases packed with $20 million in cash to bail you out. Think “Deal or No Deal”, just without Howie Mandel and the models.
2. If you die, Kenny G will play at your memorial service. (Depending on your perspective, this one can just as easily be filed under “The Darling Curse”).

Random Parting Thoughts
Tonight we learned that Lucy Liu does, in fact, have a name on the show – Nola Lyons – so I guess I can stop calling her Lucy Liu. She also just happens to be the DA who will be the prosecutor in Leticia’s murder trial. Although Nola tells Jeremy that she came on to him for nothing more than the thrill of being inappropriately involved with someone related to one of her cases, I still think that there is more to it than that and that she is somehow linked to Simon Elder.

We finally got a passing reference addressing the absence of Juliet! Apparently she did follow her new boyfriend back to the islands. That’s a nice tidy solution. Now she can pop in and out of episodes as needed, without having to have any type of regular or important storyline.

What was up with the single black glove worn by Simon Elder’s driver? I can’t say that I’m particularly familiar with standard driver attire, but I thought driving gloves come in pairs. Was he headed to the golf course or is he friends with OJ? Or am I just making something sinister out of nothing?

Karen’s bangs were gone this week – phew – but from the previews, it looks like they will be returning (along with the show) in 2 weeks. Please, Karen’s Hairstylist, either keep the bangs and let me get used to them or take them away permanently. I really don’t want to obsess about bangs all season!

Favorite Quotes:

“Forgiveness isn’t amnesia.”

“No, you step away or I’m going to have you working in the cross walk, Chubby.”

“Why don’t you bring it, Donut Hole.”

Are the Darlings darling you?  Did Leticia kill Dutch?  What is Simon Elder up to?  Karen Darling – bangs or no bangs?

– Posted by Gretchen

Gretchen is a stay-at-home mom of two awesome little girls who has the good fortune of being married to a husband who is completely cool with her slightly out of control television addiction. During her precious few sleeping hours, Gretchen frequently finds herself ridding the world of pesky vampires and demons, as well as taking down fake secret branches of the CIA.