Dirty Sexy Money – The Star Witness

At this time last week, in the real world, most of us were watching the Presidential debate. (Truth be told, some of us were watching Game 5 of the Phillies vs. the Dodgers and forgetting to TiVo the debate. Thank goodness for YouTube…). This week on Dirty Sexy Money, we got to watch a bit of the New York State Senate debate, moderated by none other than Dan Rather. Yes, the real Dan Rather. Enough said.

“Patrick Darling Is Going To Be The Next Lying Senator of the United States of Lying America”
Taking Tripp’s advice, Patrick has “pimped his wife’s death” to garner sympathy and influence public opinion as the election nears, most recently by pledging to enforce stricter fire safety codes. All of the lying is getting to Patrick and he approaches Nick about his desire to come clean about the true circumstances of Ellen’s death. Nick advises against doing so – he’s too busy defending Leticia to take on another Darling case, like the one that would be sure to be brought against Patrick for obstruction of justice and arson. In a bit of role reversal, Nick calls Tripp for a little crisis management.

Tripp approaches Patrick and warns him that his confession will not only ruin his campaign, but will also endanger the well being of those he loves, namely Carmelita who will, no doubt, be dragged through the mud as the story is uncovered. Patrick still wants to go through with it and it almost looks as if he will confess the truth in response to Dan Rather’s probing questions about his character, but Tripp enters the debate just in time with Carmelita in tow (wow – Tripp and Carmelita, together, IN PUBLIC???!!!). Patrick successfully finishes the debate without shattering his (I mean, Tripp’s) political aspirations. Backstage, Tripp toys with Patrick about Carmelita’s whereabouts. He withholds her location until Patrick essentially commits to play things his way. Way to go, Tripp — nothing like bribing your son.

Blast From The Past
Speaking of parental failures, when we last saw Nick’s mom, she was hopping into a cab as Dutch and a young Nick stood by, watching helplessly. So where has Nick’s wayward mother, Claire, been keeping herself for the past 30 years? Tucked away somewhere outside of Paris, living off of a “tiny little stipend” wired to her yearly, compliments of Leticia Darling. I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word stipend, something equivalent to a grad student’s salary comes to mind. Not quite the same thing for Claire George. Her stipend is $350,000 a year, plus the lovely little French villa in which she lives. I guess this just goes to show that sometimes it pays to have your husband cheat on you with the wealthiest woman in New York.

Nick reunites with his mother after he learns from Nola Lyons that Claire is going to be called as the prosecution’s star witness in Leticia’s trial. It turns out that Claire spoke to Dutch on the day of his death. A drunk Dutch called Claire that day after Leticia told him the truth about Brian being his son. Dutch claimed to want to leave his life with the Darlings and start again with Claire. Unfortunately for him, Claire already had a new life in France and didn’t want him to come and ruin it with the secrets of her past. She called Leticia to ask her to stop Dutch from coming. Her theory – Leticia did stop Dutch…permanently.

Nick adamantly stresses to Claire that he is certain that Leticia did not murder Dutch. In their final conversation before he leaves Paris, Nick convinces Claire to change her mind about testifying against Leticia, thereby ruining Nola Lyons’ day. Fortunately, Nola has Jeremy Darling (and a Jeremy arranged private performance by The Weepies in her apartment) to ease the pain.

Trouble in Paradise
Nick and Lisa’s marriage continues to be a train wreck. Lisa, who has tried to get Nick to reunite with his mother on several past occasions, is disappointed when he agrees to do so for the Darlings, but not for her. While Nick is in France catching up with Claire, Karen drops by the George residence and she and Lisa have a chat that starts out with the promise of climaxing in a good catfight but ends with a few teary eyes and some questionably heartfelt sympathy from Karen. It seems that both Lisa and Karen are becoming disillusioned with the new Nick.

Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law
Just as he was a little fuzzy with the laws of the Lord, the Darling formerly known as the Reverend Brian Darling is equally fuzzy with the laws of the land. While video chatting with Brian Jr., Brian learns that Andrea has been leaving Brian Jr. home alone at night. Assuming that she is out partying in Brazil and being a negligent parent, Brian races to Brazil with the intention of bringing Brian Jr. home, with or without Andrea’s permission. In the midst of his kidnapping attempt, Brian learns the truth – that Andrea is working nights and not cashing the checks that Brian has been sending to her because she doesn’t want to live off the Darling family’s money. Brian convinces her to use the money and quit her job and she eventually agrees, albeit reluctantly. Brian leaves Brazil without Brian Jr., or so he thinks – Brian Jr. is a stowaway!!!!

Parting Thoughts
I felt a bit robbed by this episode because we did not get a single scene between Nick and Tripp. When I tell people why they should watch the show, I always say that it is worth the hour of their time, if only for the scenes between Peter Krause and Donald Sutherland. Next week, I demand some Nick and Tripp quality time – PLEASE!!!

Anyone else find it funny that the most loving and well-adjusted relationship on the show might just be the one between Pat and Carmelita? They’re currently my favorite duo with the increasingly adorable father and son pair of Brian and Brian Jr. coming in at a close second.

The relationships that I’m not loving so much:

• Nola and Jeremy – I’m so bored with these two already. I’d like to see Jeremy have a bigger storyline that involves him being someplace other than in bed with a woman who is treating him poorly.

• Karen and Simon – Did Simon really semi-propose to Karen? Is she still playing him or has she fallen into his trap?
  Aside from the fact that I hate Karen and Simon together, I could not love Karen more. That woman has mastered the head tilt. Tonight she used it perfectly on more than one occasion. Never ever underestimate the power of a good head tilt, I tell you!

• Simon continues to plot with a mystery person on the phone. Part of me wants it to be Nola just because I want Lucy Liu to have a more intriguing role on the show but a bigger part of me is starting to want it to be…wait for it…DUTCH.!!! I know some of you think he might still be alive and I’m starting to agree…

In happy casting news, Nola’s boss is Ron Glass, Firefly’s Shepherd Book! Any other Browncoats watching? Please tell me I’m not the only one…

Favorite Quotes:

“When it comes to Darling felons, I’m booked.”

“Same old, same old; prosecuting your mother.”

“I hate to interrupt your take-over of Darling Enterprises…”

“Wow. Someone’s a bitch.”

Thoughts on last night’s episode? You know where to leave your thoughts.

– Posted by Gretchen

Gretchen is a stay-at-home mom of two awesome little girls who has the good fortune of being married to a husband who is completely cool with her slightly out of control television addiction. During her precious few sleeping hours, Gretchen frequently finds herself ridding the world of pesky vampires and demons, as well as taking down fake secret branches of the CIA.