Take 5: SEINFELD’s Top 5 Episodes

I’m so glad that so many of you participated in last week’s first installment of GMMR’s new feature: Take 5.  Over the next few weeks (and maybe beyond if you are interested), members of Team GMMR will be opening up the vault and picking their favorite 5 episodes from their all time favorite shows.  Last week Kari kicked things off with Take 5: THE WEST WING’S Top 5 Episodes, and today Jamie is taking on her favorite show, SEINFELD.Join in on the fun in the comments.
————
Take 5: SEINFELD’s Top 5 Episodes
Hey GMMR readers its Jamie.  I know I normally cover “Brothers & Sisters” but today I’m putting The Walkers aside to talk about another dysfunctional family – that of Kramer, Elaine, George and Jerry.

Lately II’ve been watching a ton of Seinfeld re-runs, and even after all these years and no matter how many times I’ve seen the episodes, the show is still so funny that it makes me cry. I started watching during my teenage years and I blame/thank the writers and actors for my sarcastic sass and penchant for pushing people when I’m excited.

This so-called “show about nothing” managed to reinvent the sitcom genre and paved the way for so many shows to follow. Inspired by NOTHING I have created a top 5 trip down memory lane. Comedy is subjective and everyone will have their favorite 5 episodes, so I hope you’ll all play along at home.

(In order of hilarity according to me.)

(1) The Betrayal – aka India
So this may have not been the funniest, nor the most controversial, but it was definitely one of the most interesting, creatively brilliant episodes. Many sitcoms fail to take risks and this was a big one.

In this unique, “backwards” episode Elaine decides to spite her old bra less nemesis, Sue Ellen Mischkie, by bringing Jerry and George with her to India to attend Sue Ellen’s wedding. Jerry and George use schnapps top open Elaine’s “vault” of secrets. Elaine drunk is the best!

Jerry runs into an ex-flame Nina, who is a “great conversationalist”. George wears boots that alter his height to impress Nina and doesn’t use the bathroom the entire time they are in India. Meanwhile, Kramer stays behind in New York and tries to “out wish” a friend who wants him to drop dead. It’s difficult to recap the plot completely as it bounces all over the place in reverse. The credits rolled at the beginning and it ended with the intro.

This is my favorite because from beginning to end this episode is “Gold, Pure Gold” as our friend Kenny Bania would say. Also the episode contained one of my all time favorite Seinfeld quote “You can stuff you sorries in a sack, mister!”

Another favorite quote from the episode…

“All right, all right; I’ll put it in the vault.”
“No good. Too many people know the combination.”

(2) The Chicken Roaster
In this episode Kenny Rogers’ Roasters sets up shop across the street from Jerry and Kramer’s apartment. Unfortunately, their unusually large red florescent chicken sign causes problems for everybody. Jerry’s old college friend has lunch with him and winds up getting fired, and takes a new job at Roger’s Roaster’s. In order to stop Kramer from trying to shut down the restaurant because of the menacing red sign, Jerry switches apartments with Kramer and switches personalities as well in the process. However Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny Roger’s chicken he has to sneak around to stay in the red free zone. When Jerry visits his buddy at the Roaster’s he spots Newman ordering broccoli with his chicken and knows something is up. Shortly after he busts Kramer and he takes his apartment back.

George reveals his line of attack to guarantee a second date with a woman, leaving an object behind at her place. However, this tactic gets Elaine into trouble when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn’t have charged to the Peterman expense account. That ugly hat cost $8000 and if Elaine can’t return it she will lose her job. She even travels to “Burma” to see J. Peterman to try and write off the expense.

The first time I saw Jerry impersonate Kramer after living in his apartment with “The Red Menace,” I thought I was going to pee my pants. Other gems from this episode include Kramer thinking tomato juice is milk because the red light has affected his vision. Newman spitting out the broccoli “Vile Weed” and needing honey mustard shots to wash away the taste. I haven’t even mentioned rat hats or Mr. Marbles the wooden doll terrorizing Jerry. I can’t forget to mention J. Peterman the now Burmese white poet warlord. So funny, I continually laugh out loud every time I watch.

Favorite quote from the episode……

“That’s not going to be good for business.”
“That’s not going to be good for anybody.”

(3) The Soup Nazi

NO SOUP FOR YOU! Everyone in town is over the moon about this new soup joint and its temperamental chef. George ends up alienating the soup maker and Jerry ultimately chooses soup over smoochie. The sappy kissy faceoff between George/Susan and Jerry and his girlfriend of the week was nauseating but very funny.

Elaine buys an armoire on the street but they can’t deliver it to her apartment. Kramer camps out to protect it but runs into trouble and is mugged by a gay couple. To make matters worse, Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the “Soup Nazi” and winds up getting a 1-year ban.

Kramer replaces the armoire with one given by the Soup Nazi himself. After a botched thank you, Elaine vows revenge. In the end, Jerry discovers that the armoire is full of the Soup Nazi’s recipes, and to his dismay and against his wishes, Elaine vows to use them to take the Nazi down. Every single part of this episode was amusing from gay thieves to obviously, the Soup Nazi and his antics.

Favorite quote from the episode……

“You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding? We’re taking the armoire, and that’s all there is to it!”

(4) The Bizarro Jerry aka Man hands

Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and next thing you know he’s working there. We get to see a montage of what Kramer does at the office, his commute and basically Kramer being Kramer but just in a suit. His briefcase full of crackers kills me every time. Kramer’s fake job causes a results in marriage-esque relationship with Jerry.

Elaine sets Jerry up with her friend Gillian, who is very beautiful, but she has “man hands.” Seriously that poor lobster! Whenever I go out to dinner and someone gets lobster, that Seinfeld dinner scene is always mentioned. Those hands, those giant man hands! When she busts Jerry in her purse and grabs him, you could see the absolute terror in his eyes….HILARIOUS!

George uses a picture of Gillian and passes her off as his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the “Forbidden City” where high priced models hang out. When he accidentally burns the picture and gets busted the” city” disappears and turns back into just a meat packing plant.

Elaine meets Kevin and some of his friends and realizes the group is the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. The bizzaro group really is kinda freaky but Elaine loves them because in comparison they are perfect for her. My favorite scene is at Kevin’s apartment and when Elaine is hanging around like she does at Jerry’s and the bizarro group doesn’t like it at all. They find her forward and sorta rude. They all get offended when she does her trademark “get out!” push and is asked to leave shamefully.

Favorite quote from the episode……

“You know, TCB- taking care of business”

(5) The Merv Griffin Show
After Kramer finds the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he begins to behave like his entire life is a talk show. I loved all of Kramer’s scenes, especially when he treats his friends like guests on his show and interviews them. The best part was when another friend would drop by he’d make the person he was speaking to move down a chair.

Elaine get’s peeved by the new guy at her office who keeps sidling up beside her without her noticing. Elaine tries to out-sidle the sidler with tic-tacs and nearly drives J. Peterman insane. Jerry’s girlfriend of the week has an amazing toy collection but won’t let him play with them. So Jerry and George implement a turkey, wine and home movie plan in an effort to play with the toys and it works. This disgusts Elaine until she hears about the easy bake oven.

My favorite storyline in this episode has to be George and the animals. George’s girlfriend, Miranda, is disgusted when George runs over some pigeons with his car. George has a fantastic rant about the unspoken agreement humans have with birds to get out of the way. “WE HAD A DEAL!!” After George accidentally hurts a squirrel she forces him to take full responsibility and care for it at great expense.

Crazy fact: This is one of the few episodes that had no scenes in Jerry’s apartment.

As an added bonus, I thought I would also share my Top 5 Favorite Seinfeld Quotes:1. “I don’t have a square to spare.”

2. “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious”

3. “He took it out, it, out”.

4. “I’m out there Jerry, and I’m lovin’ it!

5. “You can stuff your sorries in a sack.”

So what are your favorite all time SEINFELD episodes? Share your Take 5 in the comments below.

Jamie aka Jamer (GMMR handle), hails from Vancouver BC and is pumped to be adding a dash of Canadian flare to the GMMR. Seinfeld is just one of her many great TV loves!!