It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell

It’s proven to be an extremely eventful few days, and I hope everyone took part in a historic election on Tuesday! Philly (by way of Pennsylvania) played a big part in Tuesday night, so I thought that maybe many of you loyal “It’s Always Sunny” viewers might like to get a dose of Philly in your daily lives.

On with tonight’s episode, where “The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell”!

Who knew the gang was a part of a major historical event, like the cracking of the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia? Well, according to Mac, Charlie and Dennis, who were busy telling a poor old woman – who had a portrait of President George Washington they wanted to cut out – a story about how Paddy’s Pub, then known as Patrick’s Pub in 1776, the historical events that led to that famous crack on the bell.

See, back in the late-eighteenth century, Patrick’s Pub was known to harbor revolutionaries. Dennis led a fantastic life slaving his sister Deandra (aka Sweet Dee) to do menial tasks around the bar. The guys all believed Dee was a witch – proven true at the very end of the episode when she flew off on a broom. And Charlie and Frank lived life as hobos. Mac was his same old self with his tattoos (couldn’t they do something about that if they wanted to really be historically relevant?) and his sleeveless shirts. They lived during the days of the drafting of the Declaration of the Independence, and because the colonies to stay under British rule (because who wouldn’t?), they concocted a plan to create their own Declaration of Dependence! We also saw the return of Cricket, only this time he was known as Colonel Cricket, he was extremely wealthy and wished to court Dee.

Dennis was made up with blush, heavy white powder and a very long old-fashioned wig to really live the role of a legitimate eighteenth century man in the colonies. Mac decided to try out the wooden teeth, only he had a whistling tooth and a heavy lisp. Dennis spoke like a high-pitched girl (and looked like a drag queen performing on the Vegas strip) in his horribly accurate British accent during the brief moment he persuaded Mac to pretend to be British so this Declaration of Dependence thing they were trying out (which turned out to be a drawing of Dennis and Mac sodomizing the king while the queen watched) would be successful. But, if you knew the guys, how long did any of their plans actually turn out to be OK?

While Mac and Dennis are busy trying to be British, Colonel Cricket stops over at Patrick’s Pub and proposes to Dee, who immediately kicks him in the shin (or was it the ankle?) with Charlie putting the nail in the coffin by spitting in his face. While Dee berated Colonel Cricket for trying to win her “favor,” he revealed that in this life he was actually quite well-off (unlike the homelessness problem he faced in present day). Dee quickly took her previous answer.

Dennis and Mac, who try out their British while walking down an alleyway get tarred and feathered. Once they make it back to the pub, Colonel Cricket, whose musket isn’t quite working lets Frank (who had a whole thing about guns not working the entire episode) check it. Perhaps the only “HOLY SH*T” of the season occurred quickly thereafter. Seconds later, Frank accidentally shoots Colonel Cricket in the head, blood spattering everywhere and his head no longer in existence. Charlie, who had carved a Jack-o-Lantern, placed it on Cricket’s body.

While two men were carrying the Liberty Bell in front of the pub, Cricket’s body with the Jack-o-Lantern head ran past on the horse and cracked it! And there you have it: The TRUE story of how the Liberty Bell got that historical crack on its side. Don’t listen to the history books, my friends, the guys at “It’s Always Sunny” know what they’re talking ‘bout.

Memorable Lines

* Dennis (in 1776): “I do not give a shit, Deandra.”
* Dennis (in 1776): “Oh that’s my sister. She’s my slave.”
* Charlie (in 1776): “Ga-ga-da-boom.”
* Sweet Dee (in 1776; to Colonel Cricket): “Let’s get married!”

Whew, now let’s take a breather for a moment. Like every other episode, a lot happened this week. What did you think about the change of scenery? Did you think the characters stayed true to who they were in present day? What did you think they could have done better with the story, if anything? Did you prefer Dennis and Mac with heavy makeup? Did Cricket’s head exploding shock you like it did to me? If you were living in Philly during 1776, would you side with the Declaration of Independence or Dennis and Mac’s sodomizing Declaration of Dependence?

— posted by Philiana

Philiana Ng was born and raised in San Francisco, CA but lives in Los Angeles, CA. She is a senior studying communication at the University of Southern California, and also has a weekly television column in the Daily Trojan, “Inside the Tube.” Midseason shows she is most excited for are ABC’s “Castle,” Fox’s “Dollhouse” and TNT’s “Trust Me.”