GOSSIP GIRL: Carnal Knowledge

GOSSIP GIRL is like cotton candy – sweet, delicious but ultimately bad for you.  Just like all the best things in life.

I don’t ask much of GOSSIP GIRL.  Just give me enough drama and over the top angsty antics to let me escape for an hour each Monday night.  Let me indulge in the world of the Upper East Side for a little while before I have to get back to real life. Lucky for me, last night’s GOSSIP GIRL provided just the kick I needed to get me over an otherwise dreary day.

Blair, still reeling from her (gasp) detention set out to destroy Rachel. When googling her past for naughty indiscretions falls short, Blair instructs her minions to make up a hideous rumor about the new hot, young teacher.  But when Blair spies Dan and Rachel chatting in the hall, all it takes is a few clicks and voila…instant GOSSIP GIRL rumor – Rachel and Dan are having a forbidden affair. Horrible Blair…and brilliant, but mostly horrible. But let’s be honest, Blair isn’t the only one to blame here. Um, first off has “Rachel” not seen “Never Been Kissed”?  Allowing your students to address you by your first name is personalized invitation for scandal.  Can you really blame Blair for taking advantage of something that was right there in front of her face?

When the scandal blows up, Nelly Yuki turns on Blair and admits that the source behind the GG rumor was in fact Ms. Waldorf. And with that, Blair is expelled from Constance.  Yale shmale…you’re screwed Blair. Serena tries to reason with Rachel in an attempt to get reinstated, but when Serena catches Dan consoling Rachel and misconstrues it for something tawdry, S too turns on the new teach and Lonely Boy. She snaps a quick, but damaging pic on her trusty cell phone. Who knew cell phones could be so dangerous?!

Blair and Serena show the picture to an emergency parent gathering. Rachel is subsequently fired, and Blair is reinstated.  Dan explains to Serena that she had it all wrong and wonders why she was so quick to believe the worst of him.  She admits that it’s because she was looking for an excuse to end things with him.  This whole ‘our parents in love and we share a brother’ thing has finally taken its toll.  And with that Serena and Dan break up…again.  Zzzzz.

Dan goes to Rachel’s apartment to apologize and to try to make things right.  But Rachel seems only interest in doing the wrong…the very wrong.  Just as Rachel is teaching her student a very important anatomy lesson, we learn that the Headmistress has decided to reinstate her. Uh oh. This isn’t going to end well. (And is it me or does Dan always seem to get a ton of play within hours of breaking up with Serena? The man knows how to rebound.)

Meanwhile, Chuck Bass and his sexy new haircut is caught up in some weird ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ scandal. Seems Bart was dabbling in some illicit sexcapades and Chuck is determined to find out just how deep his father was in this secret and powerful sex society.  I might have been interested in following along with Chuck on his adventures, but he made the fatal mistake of inviting Nate and Vanessa along.  Sorry, but it’s almost as if I tune them out when they are on screen.  Hell, I’ll take Dan and Serena’s waffling relationship woes over Nate and Vanessa any day.

Not my favorite episode of the season but Blair provided enough chuckles that I was throughly entertained.

A few of my favorite moments that I just must share…

• The look of horror on the girls faces when it was announced that cell phones would be banned during school hours.  Ha!  I know the feeling well.

• Dorota showing up incognito with the contraband phones for Blair and her friends.  Love her!

• “Is a scandal still a scandal if you can’t text about it?”

• My new favorite catchphrase: “Nelly Yuki get a grip!”

• Blair: “I believe it’s called exculpatory evidence.  I love ‘Damages’.

Anyone feel like gossiping about last night’s GOSSIP GIRL?  Perhaps someone has more to say about the adventures of Chuck Bass. Does anyone care that S and Lonely Boy are off once again?  Oh and was Serena calling Dan at the end to try to get back together with him?  I’m confused.  And does anyone else agree that if Penn Badgley is going to get half naked in an episode it shouldn’t be done with dark lighting and shadows?

Until later,

XOXO

GMMR