30 ROCK: Larry King

Would that I had more goodness to report, but I’ll remember this one primarily as the episode where Liz’s foreign exchange student past finally came to its inevitable “99 Luftballons” nexus, which was admittedly a thing of dweeby, mid-‘80s beauty. It also gave us the hopefully permanent departure of Elisa, with all apologies to Salma Hayek, who proved there are limits even to the awesome powers of Alec Baldwin’s chemistry. Who knew.

And although he’s technically the C story, I will award A story status to Tracy Jordan this week, since his bat-crazy appearance on Larry King saved the entire show for me. As we saw in his single-handed rescue of Lehman Brothers back in “Generalissimo,” this is a man with a plan for every crisis, and here that plan is Thunderdome. Also: freak the geek out. And hide your money in Kenneth. Tracy is so cheerfully adrift in his own sea of absurd that he makes a recap of “Teen Wolf” sound perfectly logical in the context of a promotional appearance on a cable news network, although given his love of werewolves, not all that surprising. In fact, I will give him a solid gold star for being my favorite thing about what has been overall a disappointing season. Devil’s avocado, indeed. (Also good was him leading the on-air treasure hunt for our good friend, guitar icon Peter Frampton, along with spider-face Lutz. I think the thing this season has suffered from most is a lack of exposure for the writing staff in order to focus on Liz and Jack’s personal lives.)

That said, the Liz and Kenneth story had potential, as their pairing always does, but it was handicapped by her needlessly complicated lie (her bold use of “Nena’s famous anti-balloon protest song” aside) and also being mean to Kenneth in a way I didn’t really believe at this point in the series. (As well as overlooking the fact that he’s left Manhattan before in pursuit of official NBC page business, when he went in search of nachos for Tracy at Yankee Stadium in “Jack the Writer.”) But their road trip to Long Island City (on the X Train!) wasn’t without its charms, and tied perfectly into Tracy’s “Mean Streets” scenario when Kenneth is tagged by a graffiti artist within seconds of exiting the Zagornia Avenue station. I didn’t quite get how Tracy’s cryptic clues led to Kenneth, but I liked him checking his own head for it, then telling Asif “I would thank you to give the lady its cell phone back” before inviting Liz to his asbestos removal party.

Jack’s story was also better for revealing more of Jonathan’s Smithers-like infatuation with his boss than it did about his own relationship with Elisa, although their parting gifts to each other were a nice touch: hers a caricature of herself on a skateboard, while he offers up matching t-shirts—one pink and one powder blue—with “Jalisa” written below a heart-framed screenprint of their photo. But his marriage proposal at the end came out of nowhere and led, ultimately, to nothing. Do you believe his heart is even broken over the woman? Not really. But that—and a topless shot of Jonathan (literally) playing his flute on video—are what you get for brushing Jorgenson aside in favor of canoodling with your hot nurse girlfriend.

Anyway, did you love “Jalisa” Are you sad to see Salma Hayek go? Please tell me why.

A FEW FAVORITE THINGS

Liz to Jack: “Ugh! Ladies are such a bummer” and her glee at having had sex two more times than him so far this year. (Still, this is sex with a fictional guy who looks like Jon Hamm, right? So shouldn’t that number be a lot higher?)

Larry King: “Tracy Jordan: saying three serious things, and then a joke.”

Tracy’s translation of “TGS Fridays at 10:30 on NBC” into “NGS Fridays at C30 on TB10.”

Asif: “This phone was left in my cab by a woman wearing the shirt of a man.”

Liz’s initial response to extortion: “Yeah, I’ll definitely do that: on opposite day!”

Jonathan to Jack: “You won’t be coming in at all? But what about ‘Jackonathan’?”

Kenneth: “Adult? You mean like you’re driving a car or wearing a suit?”

Liz: “It’s a boobies picture, Kenneth, and I only kept it because for once they were both pointing in the same direction.”

Jack to Jonathan, re: Don Geiss: “Did you try his mistress? How about his manstress?”

Geiss’s 1987 video (“PLAY IN THE EVENT OF ECONOMIC MELTDOWN”) with its timeless message: “Avoid the noid.”

Elisa: “Everything’s gone coco for cuckoo poops! Is that right?”

Kari is a 30 ROCK fanatic and will be taking it out on you, her new imaginary friends.