Jon Minus Kate Plus 7 = Heaven!

I know I shouldn’t be watching JON & KATE PLUS 8. I’m contributing to the downfall of their family. If we weren’t watching then maybe the cameras would go away and those kids would grow up in peace. But alas, I’m hooked.

Last night’s episode was a little less awkward and painful than last week’s premiere. But only a little. Jon and Kate actually shared the “love seat” (which will from now on be known as the “loveless seat”) for some talking heads, but with Mady strategically situated in between them throughout both episodes. But the talking heads were the only screen time Mommy and Daddy shared last night. During actually footage of the family, the two were far apart. Jon let us know what the situation really was: “This season, sometimes you’ll see Kate and I interview separately. Sometimes you’ll see us interview together on the chair,” Jon explained in a voiceover. “It depends how things are going. We have busy schedules.” Yes, that’s what’s keeping them apart…their busy schedules.

Just a reminder for those who were watching and were surprised to see Jon & Kate sharing screentime – remember that the events of last night’s episode took place almost two months before last week’s tension-filled premiere.  Last week we saw where they are now.  Last night we got a glimpse as to where they were at the end of March. A lot of nasty happened in between that time.

In the first of two new episodes last night, Kate and the kids visited Charm City Cakes (aka “Aces of Cakes”) for a special birthday surprise for Kate. Jon was away skiing (again) in Utah. The double shot of missing his wife’s birthday and taking a vacation while leaving his wife home with the 8 kids meant TLC had to do a little PR work on Daddy Gosselin. Luckily there were some disabled kids on the mountain that Jon could ski with. Whew, that was close. Jon was thisclose to being portrayed as a neglectful and apathetic father.

In the second episode of the night (stop judging me!!), it was a little bit of a role reversal. Kate was the one on a mini vacation while Jon was home with the kids. Kate and Mady took a mother/daughter trip to San Diego where they enjoyed manis/pedis and being the center of attention – the perfect getaway for mother and her daughter. This episode was a big win for everyone! A big win for Jon because he had a few days away from Kate. A big win for the kids because they were sans Mady. A big win for those of us watching on DVR because we could easily fast forward through the scenes with Mady & Kate and be better for it. I know I’m being cruel, Mady is only an 8 year old, but she also might be the devil. Is there a blood test she can take to find out? I’m kidding of course, but that is an 8 year old with some serious ego issues. Kate seems to encourage it…I wonder why?

While they were spa’ing it up in San Diego, Jon had an adventure of his own by taking the kids into the woods…again. He really does love those woods. Only bad things happen there. Doesn’t he remember the full melt down the last time he brought the kids out there? This time poor little Alexis took a tumble and bit right through her lip. But what a little trooper! Kudos to Jon and Kate (wait, did I just type that?) for teaching their children not to fear the doctor. Alexis was practically giddy that she was going, and mocked the idea of having to possibly deal with a needle. I’ve got almost three decades on that little one and I would have been more nervous. But in the end, no needle were needed, just a prescription for popsicles. YES! Go Alexis! And as a special treat for being such a good girl, Daddy bought her a Frappuccino from Starbucks. I think that purchase had less to do with Alexis and more about sticking it to health-conscience, organic-eating Kate. The rest of the kids all had a melt down about the special treat. I would to. As StephanieTanner would say, “how rude?!”

Oh and Aaden wanted to know how the toilet worked so he took the back off and proceeded to drop it.  God I love that little four-eyed muffin. He’s the cutest!

I couldn’t sign off without sharing my favorite quote from last night.  Said with an all knowing smirk on his face, Jon said: “Kate & Mady are in California. I opted out of that one” — see even Jon likes Mady the least.

I know, I know, I shouldn’t be watching. I can’t help it.  But consider this a Safe Zone.  You can watch without fear of being judged.  As for you being all judgey judge – before you throw stones, consider the reality show YOU watch.