GOSSIP GIRL: Give Me Something to Gossip About…No Seriously

Welcome back Upper East Siders. It’s been a week since we last checked in the guys and gals we love to gossip about, and we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Did you hear the latest on GOSSIP GIRL? Scandal rocked NYC this week when Blake was spotted kissing Leighton’s long time beau, Sebastian.  Never one to be played, Leighton quickly took to the sheets with Ed, which didn’t please Ed’s lady love, Jessica. And once again poor Penn is in the dark.  He’s dating Blake but will it all fall apart once he’s heard what she’s been up to?

Perhaps not all the drama on GOSSIP GIRL is from the written script.  I kid, of course, but you can’t tell me that the interplay between the actors and their personal lives isn’t a bit ironic given the nature of the show.  In case you have a life and don’t follow Perez Hilton on a daily basis, here’s the break down: In real life, Blake (Serena) is dating Penn (Dan); Leighton (Blair) is dating Sebastian (Carter); and Jessica (Vanessa) is dating Ed (Chuck). As I tweeted earlier, it must make for one interesting table read.

Moving on to the fictional world of GOSSIP GIRL, there wasn’t much to gossip about this week. For the second episode of the season, I found tonight’s GG to be lacking some much needed pizazz.  Where’s the witty banter and the scandalous romance?  I mean, there wasn’t even a Dorota sighting. (No, a mention of a text message from her isn’t the same.) GOSSIP GIRL is facing some fierce competition on Monday night’s, even loyal fans might find something else to watch unless GG finds a way to pull itself together and get people gossiping again.

The only major event of this episode was a non-event within itself.  In a way too rushed storyline, Scott admitted to Vanessa that he was the son Rufus and Lily gave up for adoption. Instead of being completely freaked out that her new boyfriend not only lied about attending college with her, but also lied about his last name and practically everything else she knew about him, Vanessa thought it best to stick by him as he revealed his true identity to Rufus.  Ok.

A last minute appearance by his adopted mother turned Scott’s confession around.  He bailed on the truth in favor of telling Rufus that he was the brother of Lily & Rufus’ adopted son – the one they were told died in a boating accident. A shocked Vanessa looked on but kept her mouth shut.  Lesson to be learned here young ladies – it’s always better to stick by a boy who may like you (despite his lies and deceptions) rather than be loyal to your closest friends and family.  But then again, if GOSSIP GIRL were hell bent on creating role models, we’d all be in some serious trouble.

I hate to be one of those fickle TV viewers who root for characters to get together only to be bored by their new found coupledom, but such is the case with Chuck and Blair. I don’t mind them being together, but the writers need to make sure they remember the essence of why people wanted these two paired up to begin with.  The witty banter, the showmanship, it can’t go away.  We need a little more of what we saw during the auction scene and a little less of the ‘arrogant Ozzie’ meets ‘slutty Harriet’ repartee that was forced on us at the beginning of the episode. Let’s keep these two together, but let’s keep ’em fiesty, deal?

I will say this, the reveal at the end with Chuck buying the hotel could prove to be very interesting.  In a throwaway line he mentioned that he risked his entire fortune on the hotel.  A risky move for anyone, none the less an 18 year old kid (even if he does look 35 in a suit).  Could we see a penniless Chuck Bass in our future?  Now that’s a storyline I could get behind.  See you at Target, Chuckles.

A twosome I don’t need to see together anymore is Dan and Georgina.  Come to think of it, I just don’t need Georgina Sparks on my TV anymore.  The more I see of her the more I dislike her.  And the more I see of Michelle Trachtenberg in this role, the more the memory of Dawn Summers disappears. Make it stop.  Isn’t MERCY starting on NBC already?  I’m over Georgina.  Time to move on. And excuse my cattiness here, but do they have to keep putting Michelle Trachtenberg in barely there dresses and tank tops that show so much skin?  The girl is practically transparent.  She’ll of course have flawless skin and look twenty years her junior when she hits her 50’s, but for now…it’s not that attractive.

Attractive, but not the brightest bulb could easily describe Ms. Serena van der Woodsen. S is still flitting around NYC with no drive or purpose, foolishly falling for Carter.  Oh Serena, when will you ever learn?  And when will the writers ever give you decent material to work with?  You better demand a juicier storyline soon or else risk end up being the female Nate Archibald of the show (gasp). Seriously, could they have a less boring character on the show?  He’s one of the show’s leads and in the little bitty role he’s given he’s being overshadowed by guest star Joanna Garcia.  That’s not a good thing, especially for an actor trying to earn some cred as a leading man. Chace Crawford is hardly in the show now, what’s to come of Nate now that rehearsals and filming for ‘Footloose’ are underway in L.A.?

The only two that are worse off than Nate are Jenny and Erik.  The twosome have nothing to do these days other than eat food at the loft with Rufus.  A pretty sad existence.  I mean, it’s not like Jenny can wear her raccoon eyeliner for crepes and coffee. That girl needs some space to rock out her bad girls clothes.  Are these two not in school?  Have they become irrelevant now that their older siblings have gone off to college?  I mean, when Rufus has a bigger storyline than Jenny and Erik (well, ok Jenny), you know it’s trouble.  (I say this and the next thing you know an entire episode dedicated to Lil J’s social status within Constance will be forced down our throats.  Careful what you wish for I guess).

Overall, it was just an ok episode for me. I’m no where close to taking GOSSIP GIRL off my DVR. It’s not going to happen.  But I think it’s telling that last season, when it was up against some crazy competition, GG was my second priority for the night.  This season it’s the show I’m watching last. I’m not asking for a reinvention of the show, I just need to see a little spark (and I’m not talking Georgina) of something to get me excited about the show again.

Am I just being a stick in the mud tonight?  Your thoughts on tonight’s episode?  Do you think Scott will be back to reveal the truth to Lily and Rufus anytime soon?  Will Georgina get lost to Boston and not find her way back to NYU until “Mercy” is mercilessly canceled? Are you ok with Chuck and Blair’s love affair?  Will Chuck’s new hotel ruin him? Can Serena and Carter possibly last? Any chance that Chace Crawford could start dating Taylor Momsen…you know, just to keep it all in the family?