Oui, Oui! GOSSIP GIRL is Back and it’s Tres Bon!

GOSSIP GIRL kicks off its fourth season tonight at 9 p.m. on The CW. Keep reading for some ‘not too spoilery’ dish.

Ah, Paris – the city of love.  Fine wine, beautiful art, delectable food and just when you think it couldn’t get any better, Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen arrive. Hold on to your berets, boys.

L’ouverture de la saison a été magnifiquement tourné dans les rues de Paris. L’authenticité de l’être dans la ville ajoute une certaine richesse à l’émission déjà magnifiquement tourné. Paris ne peut tout simplement pas être recréé sur un plateau de tournage et je suis content du spectacle n’a pas eu à faire semblant.

When we last saw our favorite Upper East Siders, all were quite busy escaping — or at least trying to escape — the never ending drama that is their lives.

Blair’s dreams of being Mrs. Chuck Bass were dashed when she learned of his indiscretions with Little Jenny Humphrey. Serena’s near-dalliance with the other Humphrey caused a rift in her romance with Nate.  So the besties fled to gay Paris to shop, drink and live fancy.

Back in NYC, absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder for Dan, who once again was faced with his emerging feelings for his step-sister, while his girlfriend/best friend Vanessa was off saving the world (or making a documentary or whatever hipster thing she was doing).  And just when we thought he was jetting off to Europe to chase down Serena, Georgina Sparks showed up with a hint of evil in her eye and Dan’s baby in utero.

Heartbroken over Serena, Nate Archibald decided to throw caution to the wind (as well as his clothes and morals) and live the life of Bass – compliments of Chuck’s little black book.

Devastated over losing Blair (again), Chuck escaped to Prague where he was mugged, shot and left for dead on the street. In the word’s of Josh Schwart’z other show, “Chuck Me!”

Tonight’s fourth season premiere has viewers traveling the globe as we peek in on the adventures of Serena and Blair in Paris and then jet back to New York to check in on the Upper East Side.  Having received the first two episodes early, I got to sit first class on the Concorde…didn’t want to miss a delicious moment.

So if you’ll allow, just for today, I’m going to play Gossip Girl and be your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite. Although I won’t be spoiling too much (I wouldn’t dare), I thought it wouldn’t hurt to tease you a little in anticipation of tonight’s 9 p.m. premiere.

Serena and Blair are taking in all that Paris has to offer.  (In the case of Serena van der Woodsen, I mean that literally.) Indulgence would be the word of the day…or in their case, the summer. While Blair is searching for the perfect man to help her move on from Chuck, Serena is little less picky. But the ladies of leisure are having the time of their lives, seemingly exempt from the woes that plagued their East Coast selves.

However, even in one of the most beautiful cities on Earth, these two girls can be ugly. Serena gets some life changing news that doesn’t go over too well with the absurdly self-absorbed, Blair. And when a petty argument ends up with one of the ladies soaking wet in a fountain, you know that they still have a lot of growing up to do.

Speaking of life changing news, Dan is busy back in NYC, being father of the year to Georgina’s evil spawn. I suppose it’s not fair to hold the baby at fault for the sins of his mother, but being birthed by Georgina Sparks can never be a good thing, even with a stand up guy like Dan Humphrey as your pops.  (Assuming of course that Dan is the baby daddy. Hmmm.)

In a plot point that might be a bit of a stretch (even for GOSSIP GIRL), Dan has seemingly gone the entire summer without telling anyone about the baby.  Not his father. Not Jenny. Not Vanessa. And the news has even escaped the watchful eye of Gossip Girl.  But don’t worry, Georgina has a plan to make sure everyone knows of their offspring. She stops short of shouting it from the rooftops, but barely.

Vanessa’s return brings a much needed dose of reality to Dan. And in a surprising turn of events, Vanessa also brings some of the wittiest and laugh out loud, funny lines of tonight’s episode. (Yes, Vanessa. Who knew?)

Nate is still whoring it up, but it just doesn’t suit him like it does Chuck. Let’s face it, Nate’s more of a relationship guy, no? And when he meets Juliet (Katie Cassidy), a mystery woman who isn’t as easy as Nate’s summer flings, he’s intrigued.  The two have some kind of connection, but whether that’s by Juliet’s design or not is yet to be seen.

As for Chuck Bass, he has escaped death and is being nursed back to health by the beautiful, Eva (Clemence Poesy). Perhaps trying to leave the Chuck Bass of old behind, Charles assumes a new identity and a new wardrobe (think ‘Newsies’). But clothes don’t make the man, so will he ever really stop being the Bass-tard we’ve come to know?

Eva seems to have secrets of her own. Why else would she be taking care of Chuck in her dim apartment rather than at a hospital? Prague does offer free emergency treatment…just saying.

Little J – yes, I’ve avoided having to talk about her. She’s still off with her mom and isn’t seen in the first two episodes. And for the love of Chuck Bass, that is a fabulous thing! I know she’s coming back, but I for one hope it’s not for a long, long time.

I’m a bit of a GOSSIP GIRL junkie. Always have been and as long as the show continues to serve up this delicious, escapism TV, I probably always will be, so here’s to hoping you all tune in tonight at 9/8c for the season premiere.

Come back to GMMR after the show so we can dish on all the GOSSIP…GIRL.

Are you excited for tonight’s opener?  Got any questions? Comment below. Maybe I can spill some more.