Nerd Lessons Learned from THE BIG BANG THEORY Boys

THE BIG BANG THEORY begins its fourth season this Thursday, September 23rd and in honor of the occasion, GIVE ME MY REMOTE is looking back at some of the nerdiest things we’ve learned from the BBT boys over the last few years…

Positive Reinforcement is Superior to Punishment in Altering Behavior
When Penny and Leonard started dating, Sheldon became increasingly annoyed by Penny’s frequent presence in the apartment, because she interrupted his very scheduled life. But instead of voicing his complaints, he found that he could combat her unpredictable behavior — i.e. making French toast on oatmeal day — by employing the findings of famed researcher B.F. Skinner. Using positive reinforcement, Sheldon trained Penny to behave the way he wanted her to, rewarding her with a chocolate every time she did something he approved of. Leonard attempted to end Sheldon’s experiment on his girlfriend until he realized that he too could use the method to his benefit.

With a Healthy Ovum and a Person’s DNA, Cloning is Possible
When Sheldon got his hands on a napkin sullied by the mouth of “Star Trek”‘s Leonard Nimoy, the fantasy of possessing a Spock of his own became an actual possibility. He informed Penny, who gifted him with the napkin containing Nimoy’s genetic code, that a healthy ovum is all he now needed to clone his boyhood idol. Penny wasted no time in telling him that the napkin was all he was getting from her.

Rock Paper Scissors is an Inadequate Method of Selection
When Raj proposed a game of Rock Paper Scissors to decide who got to watch what they wanted on TV, Sheldon protested: “Ooh, I don’t think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in a game of Rock Paper Scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80 percent of the time due to the limited number of outcomes.” He then introduced the boys — and The Big Bang Theory audience — to a better option: Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock.

Alcohol’s Depressant Effect on the Reticular Activating System Can Cause an Intoxicated Person To Feel Less Inhibited
Sheldon’s fear of speaking in front of large groups became a real problem when he won a prestigious science award but was required to make a speech to accept it. Penny and the boys did their best to break Sheldon of his phobia before the big night, but in the end, it was the magic powers in a bottle of white wine which catapulted Sheldon from a scared scientist into a confident comedian, slinging jokes and hurling insults at the distinguished crowd just before removing his pants and mooning them too.

Teleportation Would Require Disintegration
According to Sheldon Cooper, the concept of bouncing from one place to another sans travel time is truly problematic, because — see if you can follow him here — assuming a device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual. You would’ve destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another. Personally, Sheldon would never choose to teleport, because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon. And, unfortunately, the new Sheldon would not be an improvement on the original one.

Giant Insects, Sadly, Will Never Exist
Stumbling upon Raj and Howard discussing the cultivation of giant ants as a cool, new method of transportation, Sheldon burst their bubble by telling them that the mutant beasts would be physically unable to survive, as stated by something called the square-cube law. The square-cube law (very simply) explains that making a tiny object that much bigger would put impossible strains on its physical structure. The new animal’s dimensions wouldn’t be able to cope with its density. Therefore, giant ants — though awesome… if slightly terrifying — are the stuff of pure fantasy.

Technology is Power
With all the advancements in science and technology, no modern invention has proven more beneficial than Google Street View as far as Raj and Howard are concerned, as its use of the internet, military satellites and robot aircraft was invaluable to their successful search for the “America’s Next Top Model” house.

Gift Giving Can Lead to Suicide
The reason that so many people decide to end their lives around the holidays? After receiving a Christmas gift from Penny, Sheldon surmised that it is directly related to the exchange of presents: “The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you’ve given me. It’s no wonder suicide rates skyrocket at this time of year.”

With the Help of Science, A Perfect Mate Can Be Found for Anyone
Though it’s often been inferred — and sometimes flat out stated — that Dr. Sheldon Cooper is an alien life form walking among us, the truth is that even he needs companionship. And thanks to the (okay, maybe-not-so-scientific) method employed by a dating site of Raj and Howard’s choosing, a female life form matching Sheldon’s interests, idiosyncrasies and intellect was identified. So what if Raj had to threaten Sheldon with a dirty sock hidden somewhere in his apartment to ensure he’d show up for their first date.

Once You Go Nerd, You Can Never Return…
Being exposed to Leonard’s superior intellect during their time as a couple, Penny learned soon after their break up that the dumb jocks that she used to find amusing now just seem like morons. Whether or not you fully understand nerd culture and can appreciate all its complexities, one thing is for sure: Once you’ve dipped your toe into this dating pool, it is no longer possible to tolerate idiots as the nerd reigns supreme.

Got other favorite lessons learned from the boys of BBT? Let us know in the comments section below…

THE BIG BANG THEORY Season 4 debuts Thursday, Sept. 23 at 8 p.m. on CBS with Mayim Bialik returning as Sheldon’s “first date”… which Penny is apparently chaperoning.

-Additional contributions made by Kath Skerry and Marisa Roffman

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