MODERN FAMILY: ‘Halloween’

When is a Halloween episode better than your typical TV trick-or-treat? When it’s a MODERN FAMILY Halloween episode, of course!

Claire’s favorite holiday is Halloween, and it had to be perfect – right down to assigning everyone costumes for her annual haunted house. She and Phil were a corpse bride and groom, Luke was Dr. Frankenstein with Manny playing his monster, Jay was a gargoyle (or, as Gloria pronounced it, a “gargle”), Gloria was a witch and Haley finally settled on being a sexy Mother Theresa (ay yay yay) after her two previous costumes — a sexy cat and a sexy nurse — were rejected by Claire. Their next door neighbor was supposed to participate too — playing the scarecrow who frightens trick-or-treaters as they leave, but with his marriage falling apart — the wife left him — he wasn’t feeling up to it, so Mitchell filled in.

After talking with his heartbroken neighbor, who was apparently blindsided by the separation, Phil began to worry that his own marriage could be on the rocks. He attempted to show Claire how spontaneous and loving he can be, but she just thought he was being annoying and getting in the way of her Halloween preparations.

Meanwhile, Mitchell — who heard two guys at work talking about how everyone at the law firm dresses up for Halloween — decided to get decked out as Spider-Man, since he’s new and wants to fit in. Of course he got to work and the only other people in costume were the two guys (whom he then overheard his colleagues calling “the tool” and “the douche”). He called Cam who reminded him that he had dry cleaning in the trunk of his car, thank God. So Mitchell put a suit on over his bulky SpiderMan costume, because he didn’t have time to take it off, and was then hilariously — and literally — dragged from meeting to meeting all day long. His co-workers thought he’d been hitting the gym a lot because his clothes were so tight. When he finally got a free moment to go to the bathroom and change, he dropped his pants in the toilet. Again he called Cam who told him that Spider-Man is, ironically, exactly who he needed in this moment of distress. Mitchell, clearly in a fit of panic, proceeded to make an interesting move — climbing down the side of the building, so he could fish more clothes out of his trunk. Though he made it to solid ground safely, he sadly set off all the car alarms in the parking lot and looked up to find the entire firm staring out their windows with a bird’s eye view of him and his secret Spidey identity.

Back at the patriarchal Pritchett home, Gloria became distraught because Manny and Jay both make fun of her Colombian accent. Her unhappiness turned to anger when a package of the “baby cheeses” that she ordered for Jay arrived — It was a box full of baby Jesus figurines.

And so, when the entire family finally arrived at the Dunphy house for Halloween, all was not well. Gloria was making a bitter attempt to talk like a “proper American” — which pretty much ruined the scary part she was supposed to play in Claire’s haunted house. Cam didn’t want to participate because of a “childhood Halloween trauma” that he couldn’t stop talking about. Alex wanted to study more than she wanted to be festive. And Mitchell tried to bow out too, still feeling the embarrassment of his day. Claire tried desperately to rally the troops though and the haunted house was opened for trick-or-treating business.

However, it didn’t exactly go off without a hitch. Jay missed his thunder, lightning and fog cues. Cam continued to talk about his childhood trauma — something about a Quasimodo costume, getting stuck in a bush and subsequently wetting his pants. The kids were less than enthusiastic in their roles and Gloria was still talking like a “proper American” instead of a witch.

Claire got very upset with everyone, saying she just wants one holiday to stay the same, since they now set off fireworks on Christmas — because that’s Gloria’s thing — and the gays have overtaken Thanksgiving with their Food Network experiments. She stormed out of the house. Phil followed her and, after letting each other know that they are stuck with one another and won’t end up like the neighbors, they began to overhear the family inside, running Claire’s haunted house as it was planned.

Sweet.

What did you think of last night’s MODERN FAMILY? What were some of your favorite lines/moments that I may have forgotten to mention? Comment below!

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