GLEE: A Very Glee Christmas

There are times when GLEE’S overly saccharine, somewhat-preachy, borderline-ridiculous plot makes me long for the subtle poignancy of the Pilot (and to varying degrees, the rest of Season 1.) But if there were a time to be forgiving of such shortcomings, it would be Christmas, am I right? There was plenty of “that’s not what Christmas is all about” sappiness, and everyone trying to do the right thing *yawn* but you know what? I was okay with it. We DO need a little Christmas. And there are worse things this show could do than spread the joy.

Speaking of forgiveness, I think Finn is being a little drama queen about this whole thing, and it’s about time he take the love of his life back. Rachel sets up a whole winter wonderland, gets the AV kids to simulate snow in the auditorium, and prepares a Christmas-apology song for him (and she’s JEWISH!), and all the jerk can do is complain about how the trees don’t smell good because they’re fake?! He walks off and leaves her to sing (beautifully, I might add) to an empty room. Then, on a tree-shopping outing, the poor girl wears a pine-scented car air freshener for crying out loud, and it still isn’t enough for him. Rachel made a mistake, she is young, was hurt by her first boyfriend ever, and subsequently confused. While Finn is understandably protective of his heart, I think Rachel’s done more than her share of apologizing.

However, there is one upside to all this heartbreak and drama, which is they get to perform the best sad holiday song ever, “Last Christmas,” while browsing through the Frasiers and Douglasses. I just wish that the kiss that immediately followed would seal the deal for a reconciliation (as my heart was initially lead to believe, before being utterly disappointed). This “officially breaking up with you” nonsense just will not do.

In other non-Finchel news, Brittany believes in Santa. Her noble boyfriend Artie (who, may I remind you, lied to her about a comb having magical powers in the previous episode) does not have the heart to let her stop believing in him (Journey reference not intended.) This is all very cute and well-intended, but what happened to relationships that are rooted in honesty? Anyway, in an attempt to preserve her childlike wonder, they all take a trip to the mall to visit the big man. Brittany tells Santa what she wants for Christmas: for her boyfriend to be able to walk. Heartbreaking. Despite Artie’s frantic hand motions from across the room urging him otherwise, Santa promises to grant Brittany’s wish.

To fix his mess, Artie gets his boys to convince Coach Beiste to dress up as Santa, sneak into Brittany’s house, and tell her that her wish is a no-can-do. If I were Beiste, my reaction would be “screw you all, drop and give me 50.” But because she just becomes increasingly awesome as a character with every appearance, not only does she agree to help out, she very sensitively lets Brittany down easy with a heartfelt, autobiographical story about a husky girl who once asked Santa if she could look like other girls, and instead Santa gave her patience to use her huskiness in positive ways. Brittany asks if the girl she speaks of is Ricki Lake. (Funniest line of the episode.) Everything seems dandy at this point, but as it turns out Brittany has become disillusioned by the fact that Santa isn’t so magical after all. Artie asks Schuester if he can take her home, and he says “of course.” Man, if only “Santa Claus disillusionment” was a legitimate excuse for an absence when I was in school!

Beiste isn’t the only one who gets to play dress up this episode, and Sue, complete with green face paint and a heart two sizes too small, most appropriately assumes the role as the Grinch, rigging Secret Santa, and stealing (back) presents that were meant for the less fortunate. I found that storyline quite entertaining, and Becky dressed-up as the “reindog” was a nice touch.

Ironically, the best part for me was the most irrelevant to the rest of the episode. The Darren Chriss Colfer duet (yes, that is their official couple name, as you first heard on The TV Talk Podcast) was the most enjoyable slice of Christmas, and not just Glee-wise. They just sounded beautiful and were adorable. The scene could have been removed from the episode completely with no affect to the storyline. By the same token, it could have been a whole hour-long, one-time special somehow revolving around those two and that duet, and I would have been pleased. However, in a big-picture sense, the scene was significant as it was the first time Kurt admitted aloud that he was in love with Blaine. I am quite happy with the pace at which this relationship is developing. I see no need to rush it.

Since this is Christmas, everything gets resolved in the end. While the gang’s caroling originally got a shoe thrown at them (by a teacher), their final attempt even got Sue into the holiday mood. True to Sue Sylvester form, she goes from sheer evil to backhanded niceness by the end of the episode: gifting Will a shaver (to get rid of that “chia pet” of his) arranging for the Glee club to keep him company so he doesn’t have to be a lonely divorcee at Christmastime, and vowing that she doesn’t hate the holidays, she just hates him. Even Brittany’s impossible wish semi-comes true, as Artie is miraculously able to walk with the aid of an Israeli-invented device that mysteriously winds up under Brittany’s tree. We later find that it was from Coach Beiste. Never mind that the equipment probably costs a fortune, one that a high school football coach could only dream of. Never mind that it probably isn’t as simple as “Put this on and – voila! You walk!” Never mind all that. Seeing Artie out of that chair in a non-dream sequence did bring a tear to my eye.

Like I said, everything gets resolved. Oh everything, that is, except for Finn and Rachel. They glance at each other every so often, with so much love and so much anguish – ugh, it just kills me. I wish those two could just work things out. I guess, just like in real life, the bad times will make the good times that much better. After all, even Ross and Rachel from FRIENDS wouldn’t be what they were without “we were on a break.” This too shall pass.

What did you think of the episode? How ‘bout that “Asian Santa” joke that they just had to slip in? Are you as invested in Finchel as I am? Favorite Christmas song from the episode?