Not Watching The Super Bowl? Check Out The Rest of What’s on TV Tonight

That little thing called the Super Bowl is on TV today. Who knew, right? But for those of you who couldn’t care less about the Packers or the Steelers, aren’t Black Eyed Peas fans, and don’t want to sit around waiting for the commercials, there’s still a ton of TV to choose from!

Before we talk about Super Bowl alternatives, let’s not forget that following the game is a brand new episode of GLEE.

Glee | 10:30ish (Post-Super Bowl) on Fox
“The Sue Sylvester Shuffle”
Coach Bieste and Mr. Schuester plot to bring the warring glee club and football team together; Sue desperately tries to win cheerleading Nationals; New Directions tackles Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”

Here’s our guide to help you out:

TV MARATHONS

• Law and Order | Starting at 4 AM on TNT
• Law and Order SVU | Starting at 10 AM on USA

How will you ever be able to choose between the classic Law and Order and SVU? I’m a little partial to Detective Stabler myself, but you have hours and hours to decide your favorite.

• Jerseylicious | Starting at 6 AM on Style

Style, this just looks like you are counter programming to MTV who is showing Jersey Shore later in the day. But on the plus side, people will have plenty of choices when it comes to Jersey ridiculousness.

• Ghost Hunters | Starting at 9 AM on Syfy
• Ghost Adventures | Starting at noon on Travel Channel

Any excuse is a good excuse to be scared s***less…especially if the excuse is to skip football. And goodie, you get to pick your scary flavor between Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures!

• Jersey Shore/Teen Mom 2 | Starting at 11 AM on MTV

You can watch people fighting, screaming, arguing, crying and pulling each other’s hair, or you can watch the Jersey Shore and Teen Mom 2 marathon.

(Keep reading…)

• 1000 Ways to Die | Starting at 1 PM on Spike

By the end of the day, if you don’t know how to die then we’ll know you weren’t really paying attention.

• Cops | Starting at 2 PM on G4
• Cops | Starting at 7 PM on TruTV

Good news! When you’re done with G4’s Cops marathon, just flip the channel to TruTV and you get to watch six more episodes! Men in tank tops, barking dogs, and domestic disputes guaranteed.

• Toddlers and Tiaras | Starting at 3 PM on TLC

Break out the spray tans! Watch pageant moms help their tiny tot daughters compete for the crowns in the marathon of this TLC show. I don’t know about you, but I’d pick glitter and makeup over football any day!

• Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team | Starting at 4 PM on CMT

Since there won’t be any cheerleaders at the Super Bowl this year, here’s your perfect alternative!

• Sex and the City | Starting at 6 PM on E!

Another marathon appealing to women. But here’s the toughie – the hot guys of the Super Bowl or the hot guys of SATC? Choose wisely.

MINI-MARATHONS

• Say Yes to the Dress | Starting at 9 AM on TLC

TLC thinks women would rather watch other women pick out crazy expensive wedding dresses at Kleinfeld than watch men tackle each other over a pigskin. And guess what? They’re right.

• Gold Rush: Alaska | Starting at 11 AM on Discovery

Seven episodes of this Discovery Channel favorite. And heck, going for this gold is better than a Super Bowl ring any day, right?

• Freaks and Geeks | Starting at 12:30 PM on IFC

Catch up just in time for the PaleyFest reunion!

• SpongeBob SquarePants | Starting at 2 PM on Nickelodeon

I don’t know about you, but I bet a Krabby Patty is just as tasty as any Super Bowl party food so how about spending the day with SpongeBob, Patrick and the gang?

TV SERIES – NEW EPISODES!

• Puppy Bowl | 3 PM on Animal Planet

What Super Bowl Sunday would be complete without adorable puppies romping around and licking each other? This is the classic Super Bowl alternative.

• Californication | 9 PM on Showtime

Charlie has a serious shaving accident and Marcy rushes him to the ER, where a doctor gives them surprising news about Charlie’s vasectomy. Meanwhile, Hank has an awkward encounter with Mia and the actress who will be playing her in the upcoming film. Later, Hank is invited to Becca’s band’s show, where he meets Karen’s new man. [The first of three new shows on Showtime tonight!]

• Episodes | 9:30 PM on Showtime

Sean appears to be infatuated with the beautiful actress costarring on the series, and things take an interesting turn when Matt invites the two of them to a charity benefit. Elsewhere, Beverly and Carol share some pot and commiserate about the men in their lives. [If you aren’t watching this new Matt LeBlanc show, why not? It’s hilarious!]

• Shameless | 10 PM on Showtime

The family attempts to pull off a fake wedding when it is revealed that Veronica comes from a wealthy family; Frank is given bad medical news and doesn’t do such a good job of handling it; and Steve goes cruising for a new car, with Fiona along for the ride. [Are you watching this show? Let us know!]

AND DON’T FORGET THE MOVIES…

• Pixar Short Films | 1:30 PM on ABC Family
• Terminator | 2:30 PM on AMC
• Mamma Mia! | 3 PM on TBS
• Toy Story | 3:30 PM on ABC Family
• The Princess Diaries | 4 PM on E!
• Terminator 2 | 5 PM on AMC
• Dr. Suess’ Horton Hears a Who! | 5 PM on FX
• The Holiday | 5:15 on TBS
• Disturbia | 6 PM on TNT
• Toy Story 2 | 7 PM on ABC Family
• Forrest Gump | 8 PM on TNT
• Pretty Woman | 8 PM on TBS
• Cars | 9 PM on ABC Family
• Knocked Up | 9 PM on ABC
• Kung Fu Panda | 9 PM on FX