DANCING WITH THE STARS Season Premiere Recap

This season of Dancing with the Stars is missing something: the big tabloid/political figure that everyone would be talking about. Last season had Bristol Palin and seasons back it was Kate Gosselin causing all the drama. I have that feeling that Dancing with the Stars was really banking on Christine O’Donnell, but she backed out.

A cheesy winter joke started off this season with the regular pimping of the celebrities. At this point, DWTS  is a well-oiled machine and has only made minor tweaks, like improved dance floor visuals and the fish tank. I must admit that I love the opening credits this season. I don’t know why, when it’s basically the same as the past few seasons, but the performers look like they are having more fun.

The new celebrities made their way down the stairs, a few had some looks of nervousness, but sadly no one fell. As long as I get my “How you doin'” expression from Wendy, I think I’ll be good for the season.

Chelsea & Mark – Foxtrot – I had no clue who Chelsea was, though apparently her claim to fame is kissing Joe Jonas. She has some musical theater experience, but I expect more from a Disney product. Mark thought there was potential and chemistry, but it looked like summer camp flirting. I thought the opening was a bit silly and their first moment of dancing was a bit too contemporary.  Chelsea has the advantage of being young and agile — she was dancing smoothly across the dance floor. Mark was doing a bit of overacting, but that’s just the Ballas touch that you either love or hate.

Len thought the routine was young and fresh, but there was a few cranky moments. Bruno thought it was “pure afterglow,” but she didn’t extend her lines. Carrie Ann agreed, but her shoulders and hold needed improvement. Score: 21 (7,7,7)

Wendy & Tony – Cha-Cha – Tony and Wendy’s first meeting was a bit awkward because she didn’t know who Tony was. Tony wanted to see power when Wendy was being timid. She got teary as a form of releasing stress; luckily she used her wig as a napkin. Their cha-cha was a bit slower than I expected from the beginning. She kind of just shimmied her way through the performance, second guessing herself throughout the whole routine. She really needed to come out of her shell; something I didn’t think I would ever need to say about Wendy Williams.

Bruno was upset that Wendy didn’t have fire or personality. She needed power. Carrie Ann saw fear in the routine and Wendy was shocked about the piece; she needed to unleash the beast. Len needed personality and she has to come back next week and bring it harder. Score: 14 (5,4,5)

Hines & Kym – Cha-Cha – Kym had no clue who Hines was and not just because she’s an Australian. But Kym knew that since she had Warren Sapp, she could whip any football player into shape. Hines wanted to be pushed really hard with really good choreography. The dance started with a lot of fun, possibly because of Kym’s insane dress. Hines was a bit awkward at points, but he was with Kym the whole way through. I actually liked watching the couple dance because they were having a lot of fun during the performance and it was infectious.

Carrie Ann loved the exuberance, control, and his smile. Len thought the dance was clean and confident; he also appreciated Hines’ bum. Bruno loved the lightness and timing; he suggested working on the posture and the hip action. Score: 21 (7,7,7)

Petra & Dmitry – Foxtrot – Petra explained that she broke her pelvis during the tsunami in 2004, but she didn’t want her physical challenges to hinder her. She hoped that dancing will improve her flexibility. Petra was in tears after hearing about Japan; she dedicated her dance to the tragedy. Not to sound like a jerk, but it’s a good ploy for her to gain sympathy votes. Petra had some small jerky moments at first, but was pretty smooth in hold. I really missed Dmitry’s choreography skills, because the dance was fun to watch and even though they walked in several spots, it was dynamic. I do think that the long skirt was covering up some potential issues, but we’ll see how she does next week.

Len thought the dance was charming, but she needed to work on her posture. Bruno saw moments of beauty, but her height was a challenge maintaining the moments. Carrie Ann thought she was stunning and had a natural grace, but she pointed out the drag turned into a lift. She decided not to penalize Petra for it. Score: 18 (6,6,6)

Romeo & Chelsie – Cha-Cha – Romeo and Chelsie had some initial chemistry but when the two started dancing, Romeo started to get silly. He was embarrassed by the feminine moments and looking goofy; but yet, he didn’t seem that embarrassed ten seasons ago with Ashly. Was looking gay a concern for him when he was 17? Did he use the injury as a way to back out? As the couple danced though, I knew instantly that they were doing better than Master P just because he wiggled his hips and was wearing regulation shoes. Romeo had some natural entertainment value, but his bum still needed help. He had some good moments of speed, but sticking his tongue out every few seconds should probably cease.

Bruno saw the playfulness, but the performance was messy. He was flatfooted during the performance. Carrie Ann saw the sex appeal, but he had a forward leaning posture. Len loved the energy, but he the dance felt too carefree. Score: 19 (7,6,6).

Sugar Ray & Anna – Foxtrot – Anna won me over when she went for the Drago quote from Rocky IV; she’s gained so much more personality after pairing with Chuck Liddell in Season 9. Sugar Ray emphasized that he doesn’t mind being just “Ray.” During the practice, Anna knew that his shoulders would naturally come up and it caused Sugar Ray to cry upset about his self-performance. I liked the cute idea of “The Power of Love” but Anna was really over dancing. Sugar Ray’s shoulders immediately rose up as the couple was in hold. For the first dance, I didn’t mind the overacting because it showed performance value, but I hope that he will increase his dancing and lower his showmanship by a bit.

Carrie Ann was reminded of Broadway actor Ben Vereen. She scolded him on his poor posture. Len thought the dancing level was really low. Bruno admitted that the dance was good out of the hold, but in hold he kept hunching. Score: 17 (6,5,6)

Kendra & Louis – Cha-Cha – Kendra described herself as a tomboy, but we know her from her Playboy experiences. She explained that she transformed from a bunny into a mother. Kendra was excited about pairing up with Louis and I’m sure Louis was happy that he actually got a competitor that had the potential to actually win. During their first meeting, Kendra showed her booty club movement. She joked around about looking like a stripper, which didn’t seem like a stretch. Kendra’s big goal was that she wanted to make sure she was classy-hot and not just a hooker. As the couple danced, they started with some strong walking skills and Kendra kept up with the fast and slow pace Louis choreographed. She was a bit nervous on the face and her breasts had a bit of their own polarity. She definitely had the hips for a Latin performance, but just not the stability. Kendra will need more time to refine all the movements.

Len was left interested, he loved the content, but her legs weren’t straight enough. Bruno loved the strutting, but she needs to clean up her choreography. Carrie Ann loved the ambition, but she criticized working on her spots. Score: 18 (6,6,6)

Ralph & Karina – Foxtrot – Ralph met with Karina and she thought he looked exactly the same as he did during his Karate Kid days; Ralph joked that his face may look young, but all the other parts were old. There’s a really good sexual joke there that I can’t put together. Karina was very tough with Ralph, forcing him on the posture bar. Ralph overanalyzes choreography, so Karina hoped that it wouldn’t become an issue. The couple started in front of a marquee and gave a very classic foxtrot. I immediately saw some wonky hand motions, but Ralph kept up with the choreography well. I really liked the side-by-side choreography in the middle of the performance and how he was as energetic as Karina during that section. Near the end sequence, Ralph looked like he lost his balance a bit and wobbled but he never fell and made it to the final pose.

Bruno thought he was a hit, he loved the showmanship, but his hands were odd. Carrie Ann was surprised by the elegance. Len thought he had potential, but was rough around the edges. Score: 24 (8,8,8)

Chris & Cheryl – Cha-Cha – When Chris met Cheryl, she loved that Chris had performance skills, but after that I couldn’t hear past the large cheering in the background. The sound crew needs to be reprimanded. Cheryl’s concern was that his shoulders rose up and Chris looked like he had no neck. They wasted a few bars with claps, a slide, and Cheryl walking around Chris, but when the couple got into it, I thought Cheryl looked amazing. Something about Chris during the whole performance was robotic and forced. I’m sure he wanted to try really hard and was all smiles, but he really needed to respond better to Cheryl.

Carrie Ann compared it to a Chippendale’s performance, she loved the attack. She thought there wasn’t enough content. Len thought the hips didn’t work, but he gave the audience a show. Bruno thought it was a bit unsteady and messy, but was entertained. Score: 19 (7,6,6)

Mike & Lacey – Foxtrot – Mike admits that he’s the least known contestant and it’s true, you could have told me that Mike was a soap star and I would have believed it. When the first two met, Lacey loved his headband; that’s all you’re looking at Lacey? Lacey told Mike that, “Dancing is just walking” and I think she knew that Mike was just fodder. “Dancing is just walking” was Master P’s motto. As the music began, I was thrown off a bit by the color and lighting choices of the ballroom routine and it really had nothing to do with the costumes or the song itself. The couple’s side-by-side in the beginning was very awkward and Mike’s shoulders were riding up as he danced. Their second side-by-side sequence wasn’t much better and the following sections in hold weren’t really as clean as they could have been.

Len thought there was little quality and warns him to do better next week. Bruno pointed out the foxtrot was smooth, but his version was uncoordinated. He complained that his face looked constipated. Carrie Ann knows how jerky he moved, but he kept up with the choreography. Score: 13 (5,4,4)

Kirstie & Maks – Cha-Cha – When Kirstie and Maks first met, Kirstie wasn’t intimidated by Maks’ bad boy persona. Granted, most of the people that Maks was paired up with had their own spark (Mel B. and Erin Andrews come to mind immediately). Kirstie admitted to being a DWTS ho, and she won me over with that phrase. Maks joked that she’s the broken contestant after Kirstie couldn’t bend. Kirstie was really funny with her opening, playing with her breast and keeping the emotion of the dance. The dancing wasn’t as bad as I thought it would have been and she was moving really lightly for being a big girl. She showed that she was having a lot of fun with the performance and it definitely covered up any of the minor missteps.

Bruno thought that she was only scratching the surface of dance, her footwork was the best. Carrie Ann loved how she was refined and musical being “over 40.” Len loved how the dance was cheeky and fun. Score: 23 (8,7,8)

Final Scores

High

Ralph & Karina – 24

Kirstie & Maks – 23

Chelsea & Mark – 21

Hines & Kym – 21

Middle
Chris & Cheryl – 19

Romeo & Chelsie – 19

Kendra & Louis – 18

Petra & Dmitry – 18

Low
Sugar Ray & Anna – 17

Wendy & Tony – 14

Mike & Lacey – 13

On a whole, I think that Wendy probably deserved the same score as Mike, and Kendra was underscored if Chris got one point for looking like an awkward white male and Kirstie got extra points for playing with her boob. Petra has a beautiful accent and I hope people will warm up to her just so I can hear her talk some more.

Since there is no elimination this week, Mike has a shot of improving. I think that Wendy has a large enough following or enough fans just from her clips on THE SOUP to keep her around for a good laugh — she could probably outlast Mike and Sugar Ray. As for the high scorers, Chelsea will need a boosted score early on (like Kyle Massey last season) to grow her following. At this point, I think Mark Ballas has more fans than she does…

What do you think?!