BACHELOR PAD 2: Jake, Vienna, Kasey, Gia…Oh, and 14 Other Contestants

“It’s seems whoever it is you have previously been engaged to or not liked, is probably going to be walking through the door. Count on it.” – Michelle.

It might cause me actual physical pain to start off this BACHELOR PAD 2 post with a quote from Michelle, especially given how much she has annoyed me in the past, but the girl was right. This year’s cast of BACHELOR PAD was so intertwined with their history that I’m not sure the franchise will ever be able to top the built-in drama.

Sure, there were 18 contestants, but it quickly became apparent this was the Jake and Vienna show, with notable guest appearances by Kasey (Vienna’s current boyfriend) and Gia (a contestant from Jake’s season and Vienna’s former friend).

So what were those crazy kids up to?

All Vienna and Kasey wanted was for Jake to not be there. Of course, that meant Jake was there. Lucky for him, his rejected contestant, Gia, still was on his side and willing to badmouth Vienna to anyone who would listen.

However, Jake was a little vague about how he actually felt about Vienna told Gia he would always have feelings for his ex-fiance. In fact, Kasey and Jake had a man-to-man chat, where the two were fairly decent with each other. “I’m not in love with her, but I will always care,” Jake told Kasey. Jake seemed impressed that Kasey was willing to take Vienna’s side, no matter what. Everyone seemed like adults.

That is, until they got to the first challenge. “Hook up”

The 18 contestants had to wrap their bodies around their partner and they were lifted by hooks above a bed. Whomever could stay attached the longest won immunity and a special date.

Of course, the finale two couples competing ended up being Jake and Jackie (AKA not-Lea Michele) and Vienna and Kasey. Jake knew if he didn’t win, he was gone and all Vienna and Kasey wanted was to get their immunity so Jake could be out of their hair. However, Kasey couldn’t hold on to Vienna, so Jake and Jackie won. In addition to their previously announced prizes, the duo also got a third rose, which they could give immunity to any person they chose to.

On his date with Jackie, Jake talked “candidly” about his relationship with Vienna. How he was in love with Vienna and he was blindsided when a friend told him she went to a tabloid to sell their breakup story and then he discovered she moved out of the apartment, leaving behind the engagement ring.

Um, Jake? Didn’t you claim that Vienna was cheating on you and that you dumped her? Or “kind of made a fool of myself,” as Jake said about their post-breakup special? If you’re going to lie/change your story, don’t do it on the record.

However, his new version of things made it seem like he wasn’t so over Vienna and their broken engagement. “There needs to be one final conversation,” he said. Jackie suggested it might be a good sign of peace to give their third rose to Vienna. Jake warmed up to that idea immediately.

“My heart tells me to give a rose to Vienna tonight,” Jake said. “Vienna has sold herself to the idea that I’m a bad guy. And I think that by me saving her tonight, she’ll see who I really am. I’m the same guy she met on THE BACHELOR.”

Someone who was not okay with that? Gia. She was furious he wouldn’t save her (she feared, rightly so, that people might try to vote her off), and instead choose to save someone who hurt him. Hell, Jake called Gia “Vienna” when he was trying to expain himself…WTF?!

This episode’s Very Important Lesson for Gia? You will never be the first girl for Jake. Even if he hates Vienna, he’ll still pick her over you.

Jake gave Vienna the rose and had a chat with Vienna and Kasey where he apologized for his behavior. His on-camera interview said he was so happy to get closure. Vienna had a different take on their exchange. “The best way to put it is torture,” Vienna said.

“I was able to do something very nice for somebody who did something very terrible to me, and that makes me feel very good,” Jake said in one of their confessional interviews. And it was cut between scenes of Vienna and Kasey having sex and their talking heads dissing Jake. Plus, Gia harping on how dumb Jake is. Oh, BACHELOR PAD…never change.

When it came down to voting people off, thanks to an unlikely Gia and Kasey alliance where they vowed to not vote each other off, Justin got the most votes, stole Jake’s rose and left. No, Justin, no one wanted to see you win. And as for Alli, her being gone is no big loss for me.

Um, and what was with the tag at the end of the episode? Why have Jeff (AKA the masked man from Ashley’s season) “break” into the house?

What did you guys think of the premiere?