RINGER Recap: ‘It’s Easy to Cry When This Much Cash is Involved’

Happy Valentine’s Day, RINGER fans!

There’s nothing I like to do more on the most romantic night of the year than watch a show about rape, deception and greed. How about you?

I have to admit, though, that last night’s episode threw me for a pleasant loop when the big twist was revealed. [Do not read further if you have yet to see last night’s episode.] 

So Juliet really is the brat stepdaughter she showed herself to be at the beginning of the season, even though it seemed she was making so much progress through family trips to the ice skating rink, and ice cream bonding sessions!

Alas, she was just putting on a show. It turns out she, Mr. C and Tessa were in on the rape plot together for the money they would get from a settlement. I’ve already read on a few comment boards that this twist is pretty much a direct rip-off of the movie, WILD THINGS, but I haven’t seen that. So, for the purposes of recapping, I’m going to treat this story as a unique one and say that I honestly really enjoyed it. I had no expectation of them all being involved just to get money, but it fits Juliet’s character — and it adds one hell of a new dynamic to the show.

As for the rest of the hour, let’s just say that if you missed this episode to go on a dreamy dinner date, this was the night to do it on (No, not “do it.” Get your mind out of the gutter!).

Bridget spent most of the episode retracing Siobhan’s steps on the last day Solomon drove her anywhere, which also happens to be the day she went missing.

Her first stop is Siobhan’s secret office in Harlem, where she finds a mysterious key and a piece of paper with an address on it. Who knows how Bridget figured out these were important, but they somehow are.

As Bridget’s snooping around, we see Siobhan hiding in the office closet — with a gun! This made me laugh because, really, do we expect Siobhan to shoot Bridget? Yeah, that’s a no. Bridget does look in the closet, but Siobhan is able to hide behind some boxes. (This must be the biggest office closet in the world.)

Siobhan then stops by Henry’s place and explains to him that she and Bridget switched identities because she wanted to help Bridget get away from Macawi. She adds that the scheme was Bridget’s idea, but Bridget must have “gone rogue” when she worked with Charlie to kidnap Gemma for money. Sure, just go ahead and blame your poor stripper sister, Siobhan.

Siobhan also reveals that she and Andrew have a prenup, so if she were to divorce him, she would get nothing. But she says she’s figured out a way she and Henry to be together with Andrew’s money — she just needs the key Bridget took.

Sometime after Siobhan leaves, Olivia (evil British woman from DEXTER) visits Henry. She even brought some Egyptian cotton pajamas for the twins! First of all, I’m sure that’s what all little boys are just dying to have nowadays (well, maybe if you’re rich, so who knows). Secondly, those boys don’t exist, so that’s really just money wasted.

Olivia wants Henry to talk to Gemma’s rich dad about investing in Martin/Charles. Henry doesn’t want to do that, especially since Gemma’s dad is recovering from a coronary. But she gets him to change his mind once she shows him a risqué picture of he and Siobhan in bed. Remember when she took that off of someone’s phone or something? Yeah, I hadn’t either because it happened months ago.

The next stop on Bridget’s adventure with Solomon is a coffee shop where Siobhan used to sit for hours at some chess table. Is this what rich women without jobs do all day? It turns out this table has a letter slot in it, and people can submit wishes into it. Random, but okay. Bridget breaks into it and finds a wish from Siobhan, saying that she wishes she could forgive her sister, but she can’t. Bridget is super upset over this since Siobhan told her she had forgiven her for whatever they’re talking about (I’m guessing it has to do with Sean, the little boy seen in pictures), so she wants to know what else Siobhan was lying about.

At Siobhan and Andrew’s apartment, Juliet and her mom are deciding what to wear for the trial against Mr. C. Is it just me, or does it seem really early for a trial to already be happening? I don’t know why I’ve come to question it with RINGER when I have seen hours upon hours of LAW AND ORDER: SVU, but it seems a little too quick to me.

Meanwhile, Henry and Siobhan have finally rented a hotel room and are snuggling in some fancy robes. She goes to get a shower when Tyler happens to video chat. Her computer, of course, is sitting right next to Henry, who decides to answer it. IN HIS ROBE. WHILE HE IS ON A BED. I’m all about some manners, so this was a big no-no.

Tyler, seeing Henry, gets understandably confused and hangs up. When Siobhan gets out of the shower, she tells Henry that Tyler is just the Head of European Operations for Martin/Charles — someone they need to get inside information on Andrew. Siobhan reassures Henry that she loves him, which is good enough for him and his penis.

Siobhan later calls Tyler, who says he’s done with her. Siobhan tells him that Henry is her brother and he needs to start trusting her. I have a brother, and I promise you that we never lounge around in robes at a hotel. Snuggies, yes, but robes … no. Tyler falls for it (Seriously, Tyler? You’re so pretty, but you’re oh so dumb), but tells her that people are starting to question why he’s looking at private Martin/Charles documents. He doesn’t think he can keep snooping around, but Siobhan uses her unborn child to guilt him into still doing it.

After Juliet’s part of the trial is over, the family is celebrating what a great job she did. Catherine even thanks Bridget for “not being a bitch,” so you can just feel the love amongst them! As Juliet’s in the bathroom, she runs into Tessa, who tells Juliet that she lied about being raped.

It turns out Juliet’s friend, whose name I honestly don’t know (Is it Ashley, or am I thinking about REVENGE?), is in a stall and overhears everything. She tells Andrew about Tessa, and the case must then be dropped because only Juliet’s word against Mr. C’s won’t hold up in court.

To add even more stress to the situation, Mr. C is counter-suing the family for defamation. Andrew, with Bridget and Catherine’s support, eventually decides to settle out of court to prevent Juliet from having to go through testifying again.

This is where it all comes full circle, as we then see Juliet and Tessa hanging out and drinking in some hotel room when Mr. C shows up. They then celebrate that Juliet has her trust fund back and they will all be millionaires.

Bridget continues her adventure with Solomon, who takes her to Siobhan’s last stop on the day she went missing: a shooting range. As she’s there, she sees a picture of Charlie on the wall. Sidenote: Charlie was “Marksman of the Month,” but he can’t hit Gemma when she’s in the trunk of the car?!

She sees that the name under his picture is John, not Charlie, so she asks Solomon if she knew him. Solomon says she went to the gun range with Charlie because they were friends. Bridget then realizes that Charlie must’ve known she was Bridget since he introduced himself as Charlie, not John, and she becomes worried that someone is after her to kill her. I’m not exactly sure how she got to this conclusion, but I’m just going to roll with it. She and Solomon later discover footprints in the office closet (They were strangely in white powder, so I’m going to make the unfounded guess that Siobhan has picked up a bit of a cocaine habit — or she’s recently gotten into baking), so Bridget’s fears are proven right.

At Martin/Charles, Gemma’s dad is about to sign some papers to invest in the company. He first asks Henry if he thinks his money will be in good hands at the company, which is a sign to us that it definitely won’t be, but Henry tells him it will. Gemma’s dad signs, and the picture of Siobhan and Henry is seemingly deleted (Even though Olivia says she made no other copies of it, I’m not putting anything past this show — it will probably “mysteriously” pop up again).

The episode ends with Henry and Siobhan meeting up again, but this time for business instead of pleasure. Siobhan tells him that she needs to go back to Paris, and even though he wants to go with her, she needs him to watch Bridget. Could you imagine a Henry-Tyler confrontation?

Siobhan broke into Andrew’s and her apartment and got the key, which opens what appears to be a safe deposit box. Henry mentions that Gemma’s dad invested in Martin/Charles, and Siobhan is none too pleased by it. She tells Henry that Gemma’s dad is about to lose a lot of money, and she plays him some recording that’s inside the box. Henry listens to whatever it is and says, “Oh my God.”

At the same time, we see Tyler over in Paris, calling an auditor and telling him that he thinks Martin/Charles needs to be investigated. Dun dun dun…

Other thoughts: 

• Finally, someone asks Siobhan, “Why are you asking me what you did?” This beautiful character is Solomon, who is now my favorite because he actually shows signs of brain activity.
• Should we just call Henry and Tyler Tweedledee and Tweedledum from now on? It really suits them, in my opinion.
• Is it just me, or did Juliet seem a little jealous of Tessa? There was some evil look going on last night when she, Mr. C and Tessa were all in the hotel room, but I can’t figure out why. I’m wondering if one of them will begin to get greedy, throwing a wrench into their evil plan.
• Before the big twist was revealed, I thought to myself how wasted Jason Dohring was on this show. I have been proven wrong, and I have to say that seeing him being devious totally brought back memories of Logan Echolls. My heart may or may not have skipped a beat when he walked into that hotel room. Well done, RINGER.
• I sincerely hope Siobhan is not going back to Paris. The show has improved with her being so close to Bridget, and I hate to think of how much it will slow down again with her overseas.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you miss Victor or Malcolm (I didn’t!)? Were you surprised at the twist? Let us know!