The Office Recap: “The Convention”

A standing O and a round of applause for all those involved with putting this week’s episode of The Office on the air. To Lee and Gene who wrote the episode – nice work boys, nice work. As for the actors…once again they played it all out to perfection. With lesser actors these characters would be foolish caricatures.

I LOVED LOVED LOVED this episode and I think it’s an instant classic for most Office fans. So you want to know what went down? Well settle in because you are about to read a ridiculously long and self indulgent recap by moi. Ready? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

First off, in a hysterical cold open, Michael tells Pam that he was inspired by Angelina Jolie to adopt a baby from China. He needs Pam to look into ir for him. Pam tells him it’s expensive and takes a while. Michael quickly rethinks this genius idea and offers another.

Michael: You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven’t had a baby, and you haven’t had a baby …
Pam: No Michael.
Michael: Twenty years.
Pam: No Michael.
Michael: Thirty.
Pam (thinks for a moment): Sure.
Michael: It’s a deal.

Michael and Dwight are off to Philly for the Northeast Mid-Market Office Supply Convention – a raucous good time, and clearly one of Michael’s favorite office related events of the year (next to his camaraderie events of course). Michael’s claiming that it’s going to be a booze filled sex romp. Oh Michael if this is the high point of the year for you, then I am so so sorry.

It seems that Angela also has considered the booze and the women at the convention. She isn’t too pleased with Dwight for going with Michael. She would rather him spend some quality time with her. Aw, I kind of love Dwangela and their bizarre and twisted relationship.

Dwight: Don’t be mad. It is a business trip.
Angela: But I don’t understand, it’s for managers.
Dwight: Monkey, I am an A-R-M, Assistant Regional Manager.
Angela: I know. I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. (Dwight becomes very quiet.) Are you still there?
Dwight: Yes, Monkey.
Angela: Don’t ‘Monkey’ me! You can’t wait to get out of here, A-R-M!

A clearly perturbed Angela is short and caustic with her officemates. Shocker!

Creed: Andrea is the office bitch. You’ll get used to her. (reaches out to shake Meredith’s hand and introduce himself) Creed.

God how I love Creed!

In Philly, Michael & Dwight meet up with the Regional Manager of the Stamford branch, Josh Porter, and our very own Jim Halpert. Michael is happy to see his “prodi” “progical” – his son return. Dwight…not so happy. Jim seems to have missed the guys too, well maybe not Dwight…then again, maybe a little.

Jim: You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.

While Josh, Jim and Jan are busy trying to network and drum up new business for their flailing company, Michael seems to be concerned with drumming up fellow conventioneers for the party he is throwing in his hotel room. It seems everyone is invited, including Jerome Bettis and the guy dressed as a Blackberry, whom Michael seems to remember befriending during last year’s convention.

Dwight: Why do they call him “The Bus”?
Michael: Because he’s afraid to fly.

Michael’s fun seems to dissipate when he sees how well his ‘best friend’ Jim is doing in Stamford, and how much fun he’s having with his new boss, Josh. Jim and Josh with their matching outfits and inside jokes – Michael’s a bit jealous. And when Josh intimates that he might try to find Michael a sales position in Stamford if the offices merge, well it’s game on.

Monkey, the little vixen that she is decides to pay a visit to her man while in Philly. Under dark glasses and the alias Jane Doe (ha) she checks herself into Dwight’s hotel room.

Back in the Scranton office. It seems that Kelly has set up Pam with her neighbor Alan who is a cartoonist. The two are going on a double date with Kelly & Ryan. Pam is a bit nervous as this is her first “first date” in nine years. But Phyllis shares her wisdom on what to do:

Phyllis: You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you’re worth it.
Stanley: If you do that, you’re going to have to put out.
Phyllis: Well yeah, you’ll have to put out.

Something tells me that Phyllis ordered the most expensive menu on her first date with Bob Vance. But, hell…now they’re engaged, so you go Phyllis!

But it’s not just Kelly who is excited that Pam is back on the market. Nope. It seems that our little own Toby (whose last name we learn is Flenderson) has a bit of a crush on our receptionist too. Aw, Toby. He comes pretty close to asking her out, but backs away before he can find the courage. Toby, we love you, but seriously…run, don’t walk in the opposite direction. This can’t end well for you buddy. But something tells me this won’t be ending soon. Are the writers going to have us rooting for Toby to get the girl? I’m not sure I want to even think about it. It’s just too much to deal with right now.

Back at the convention, the boys are doing their thing when Michael gets a call from Pam. He says he’ll get back to her with the “general specifics of it all” (ha) and then tells her to have fun on her date. Ouch! Halpert struggles to maintain his composure, but that crack! you just heard may have just been Jim Halpert’s heart breaking….again. Damn, it was just starting to heal.

Michael just can’t seem to let go off his animosity towards Josh. He reminds Jim that although Josh might be more successful, he isn’t funny like Michael and he certainly doesn’t have two girlfriends. And if those aren’t two qualities important to being a Regional Manager of a paper supply company I don’t know what are. Jim tries to tell him it’s not about that, but Michael doesn’t by it and becomes a sullen and angry little boy.

Michael: Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it’s talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it’s moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well … phooey on that. I’m done. I’m not going to be speaking with him anymore.

But, at least he harnessed that anger into something productive. In a rare reminder of why Michael Scott has a job, he manages to land a huge deal with Hammermill papers. A win-win-win for Dunder Mifflin. Jan is clearly impressed.

Jan: Well, Michael, I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well maybe next time, you will estimate me.

Something tells me this deal is going to play a role in later eps…but anyway.

This bring us to the funniest moment of last night’s show. Jim, not quite ready to let go of the good ol’ days, manages to get his hands on Dwight’s room key. He’ ready to pull some kind of prank (maybe involving a bloody glove…who knows). As Jim enters the room to find some nekkid legs on the bed. He stumbles out backwards and runs down the hallway because…

Jim: Oh my god! Dwight got a hooker! Oh my god, I gotta call … I gotta call somebody, I don’t know who to call … Dwight got a HOOKER!

Call Pam! Call Pam! Oh wait, she’s not home. She’s on a date. A date that doesn’t go exactly as she hoped. I mean the guy claims to be funny and edgy but he’s still referencing Freedom Fries so…. He’s clearly not naturally funny or witty like someone else…I don’t know, someone named Jim! (Ok, I’m pushing it, but come on, I’ve invested a lot of time and energy in these two kids and I’m not going to stop until there is a reunion, some kissing and some babies).

In the end, Michael’s big hotel room party is a bust. Hell, not even Dwight shows up. But then again, Dwight’s probably getting it on with his hooker Jane Doe, so can you blame him? Seems like the only guy willing to hang with Michael is Jim.

A still bitter Michael tells Jim that he gets why he transferred…Josh is a better boss. Jim relieves Michael’s worst fears and assures him that Michael had nothing to do with him leaving – “he’s a great boss”. Jim breaks down and admits the real reasons he left.

Jim: I transferred because of Pam….It’s just – I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no….twice.

Oh and that crack! you just heard…well, this time it was my heart breaking…again. The way John delivers his lines, with his voice cracking ever so slightly…god that guy is good.

Michael feels for his friend and offers to talk to Pam for Jim. An offer Jim quickly shoots down. In this solemn moment, Michael offers the best advice he can…Jim should talk to Roy! Because ya know, Roy knows exactly what Jim in going through. (Ha)

All and all it was a sweet moment, and in the end Jim says the words, perhaps the only words, that Michael needs in life…”we are friends” Aw.

Oh and just to remind us that we aren’t watching a schmaltzy comedy, they leave us with a fantastic bookmark ending. Michael & Dwight turn on the blacklight in the hotel room to find something um, well…

Michael: Whoa, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it’s urine.

And with that another FANTASTIC episode is over.

Let’s discuss…

PS: NBC.com has posted a 2-minute recap of last night’s show. Just go to NBC.com and click on the 2-minute recap button on the right. The recap isn’t as good as last week’s but you’ll still get the gist.

UPDATE: NEW interviews with the cast are also available at NBC.com Click on the link below. Thanks to OfficeTally.com for the heads up.

A special thanks to ‘JimJam” for passing along these quotes from last night’s episode. It saved me a lot of time.