Ugly Betty Recap: “The Bunny and the Box”

Thursday is a killer night for TV. So much so that I haven’t been able to get to Ugly Betty yet. It kills me not to be able to read Julie’s Ugly Betty recap, because I like reading her recaps almost as much as watching the show. So enjoy…and remember comments=pure gold. So are visitors to TV and Sympathy, so head over there and check out what else Julie is talking about these days.

Title: “The Bunny and the Box”
Original Airdate: 10/6/2006

Betty arrives at work, all smiles, carrying a box of doo-dads to personalize her desk. Among them is a pink graduation-themed bunny, which Marc feigns to like. He “applauds her efforts at personalizing her desk.”

Daniel gets off the phone to give Betty a low-level talking-to about not mentioning certain things in the press (like that he wore shoes from a company with sweatshop issues), because they’re in a business where the press will twist things around. Betty takes it well. Of course, she’s even more excited when Daniel invites her to a meeting with Natalie Whitman, an actress who they’ve made out to be like Renee Zellweger with the yoyo weight gaining for movie roles. Remember, they’re a team, he reminds her — before asking her to go get some coffee.

At Bradford’s office, he listens while Fashion TV news diva gives the recap of the Wilhelmina controversy. Daniel arrives, and his father reminds him how important the success of the magazine is. When he finds out Daniel hasn’t been getting “the book” — the mockup of the entire magazine which essentially controls the magazine — he gives him a higher level talking-to.

Natalie Whitman, who is very pretty in a real-girl way (want her hair!), watches as the Mode team shows her how they’ll be altering one of the pictures of her. Natalie is kind of offended, with good reason, since their alterations have turned her into a glambot. Wilhelmina reminds her Mode isn’t about looking normal; it’s about looking aspirational. When Natalie asks for Betty’s opinion, she starts to say “great” until she’s silenced by a glare from Daniel.

After Natalie leaves, Daniel tells Wilhelmina he’s going to be receiving The Book from now on. She tries to convince him otherwise (ooh, manipulative! Claws! I really ought to call her Wolverina) but he is firm and authoritative. It’s kinda hot. Less hot is him afterwards telling Betty she really has to “go with the vibe in the room” in future, even if she disagrees. When she returns to her desk, she finds someone has absconded with her bunny. Brutal. Natalie also appears to be taking her photo alterations somewhat brutally, since she’s lingering at the computer, narrowing her image till it vanishes.

While receiving a foot massage from Marc, Wolverina tells him her plan to leave the unretouched photos of Natalie in to cause a publicity scandal that will oust Daniel.

Betty’s aromatic empanadas disgust some coworkers and delight others. She chats with her pals about how Natalie’s forced photo thinning is unfair and cruel, but her friends remind her that they’re in a world where fashion means perfection. Meanwhile, drawn by the scent of real food, Natalie herself comes over to bum an empanada off Betty, who happily obliges. Natalie sits down and joins the table all friendly-like.

Wolverina and her diabolical, death-faking, dimly lit companion discuss how to overthrow both Bradford and Daniel. Bradford has another park-bench meeting with his investigator, who tells him Fey Sommers (former Mode editor) is having an estate sale. Bradford says he’s going to break in that night to remove anything incriminating.

At her desk, Betty receives a message containing a photo of her bunny in a noose, with crossed out eyes. Meanwhile, Daniel receives The Book at his desk. Unsurprisingly, whorish assistant Amanda (who you’d think would be wearing green) seduces Daniel away from the book with the promise of a hot night at the opera. Left to her own devices, and not wanting to leave The Book where any creepy janitor could get at it, Betty takes it home.

Back at casa Suarez, her nephew Justin pores over The Book like some sacred religious text. Hilda arrives with a gift she found from Walter (9 volt batteries, tres romantique), who she thinks Betty should take back. He couldn’t help that predatory Gina hooked him. To my surprise, Justin sees the unretouched photos and thinks they’re gross. Whatever, Justin. You’re gross. See how childish we can both be?

Gina pops in to demand Betty give her $4000 for the TV she “broke”. Hilda approaches her with a “bitch, out my house”, threatening to hit her with The Book, which Gina soon realizes is quite valuable.

Night. Break-in montage. Gina nabs The Book, Bradford nabs a music box. When in the morning Betty spots that The Book is missing, she freaks and starts scouring the trash. “I didn’t lose it, it’s just in a place that I don’t know about.” Hilda finds a ransom note from Gina.

Amanda gets out of the shower at Daniel’s, informing him that “if that showerhead could pay my bills, I’d marry it.” Yes, you and something that cold and sterile would make a perfect match. Daniel gets Betty’s message from the previous evening, and he calls her. He’s actually pretty nice about it, saying that it was “an honest mistake” that she took The Book home. While dancing around the truth about The Book’s whereabouts, Betty tells him it was brave of him to include the unretouched photos. He says, “If those photos ever got out, it would be disastrous.” He’s sending a car for it.

When Betty goes to retrieve the book from Gina (a plan that seems to involve a lot of pleading and no real offer), Hilda breaks in through the back and a catfight ensues. They don’t manage to get The Book before Betty’s car arrives.

Daniel, trapped for an elevator ride with Wolverina, tells her has seen The Book and is surprised she missed the unretouched Natalie pics. “You’re probably just reaching that age where you have to start wearing glasses,” he tells her. Snap! Maybe he’d be less snappy if he knew that The Book was loose.

Betty calls Christina from the car and tells her about The Book. At the same time, she finds a photo of her bunny bound and gagged. She confesses to Christina that maybe she (and her Bunny) just don’t fit in at Mode. She’s going to tell Daniel the truth. The driver overhears Betty’s half of the conversation and text messages Wolverina the news that The Book is being held hostage by Gina.

Daniel stalls for his 10am meeting, where he’s supposed to have notes on The Book. When Betty arrives and tells him she twisted the truth and Gina has The Book, he’s understandably quite upset — partly that she lied. “You don’t lie to me, ever! We’re on the same team!” When he finds out they need $4000, he and his checkbook are ready to head to Queens…if it weren’t for that meeting he has to go to.

At the meeting Daniel suavely tells him he has no notes, everything’s great. See, lies are appropriate sometimes! When pressed to produce The Book by Wolverina, he reschedules the meeting for three hours later.

Betty finds a picture taped to her chair of her bunny in the toilet, inspiring her to make an announcement to everyone that it is not funny and they are not going to break her. “You can take my bunny, but you can’t take my spirit.” How William Wallace of her.

Daniel and Betty arrive at Gina’s to find Walter already setting up an LCD flatscreen. Gina saucily informs them someone came by first with a better offer. Nice car, big sunglasses, she tells Daniel, as Walter tries to convince her that his battery present was sort of romantic. (It sort of was.)

The TV starts working and there’s a Fashion TV special noting that there may be unretouched photos of Natalie are out there — which Fashion TV will dutifully air should they turn up. The anchorwoman somberly informs the public that “we only make others feel bad to make you feel good.”

Meanwhile, Marc is returning The Book to Wolverina. They don’t plan to actually get the photos out there; they plan to cause a lot of turmoil and sweating before swooping in with the right proofs at the last minute.

Daniel and Betty brainstorm what to do during the car ride back from Queens. He figures he might as well hop on a jet to Paris or Rio, anywhere he can “escape the pressure of constantly trying to be something he’s clearly not.” Betty suggests instead they just tell the truth.

Back at Mode, Natalie’s publicist is furious to hear the photos are out there. Natalie asks how it happened. Hearing the commotion in the conference room, Betty feels terrible. She’s gonna feel worse in a second when she finds out Amanda destroyed her bunny and is telling her to quit — while already sitting at her desk.

In the elevator on the way down, Natalie greets “empanada girl” and finds out she’s quitting. Betty apologizes for The Book mess and explains what happened, and that she did think the unretouched photos looked beautiful. She walks away, but Natalie’s refreshed by her honesty.

Daniel confesses what really happened to his father, who is similarly impressed by the honesty. Meanwhile, Natalie bursts in telling Daniel he can’t fire his lovely assistant, and she has a solution for everything.

The solution? As Wolverina observes on Fashion TV, Natalie has decided to allow them to publish the unretouched photos. Daniel also swoops in to pick up The Book that Wolverina said miraculously turned up.

Christina returns Betty’s mended bunny and gives her a bag containing a pair of comfy American-made shoes (those are for Daniel). He has The Book and points out Betty’s name on the masthead. He made sure it was corrected. Sweet! On her way out, Betty tells Amanda McBitcherson that she and her bunny might be the worse for wear, but they’re not going anywhere.

Daniel gets a call from creepy clinic lady, warning him about his father. Bradford, meanwhile, is burning a photo from the mysterious music box he swiped from Fey Sommers’.

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