MODERN FAMILY Recap: ‘Bixby’s Back’

Before we get started, I want to congratulate MODERN FAMILY on their recent SAG Award and Writer’s Guild Award wins! Because the show has been in repeats, I haven’t been able to mention it, but I wanted to make sure I got to it this week.

Speaking of being off the air for two weeks, I may have forgotten how to do this. Let’s get started and see how I do!

It’s Valentine’s Day and every family has a reservation at the same restaurant, Ibiza. Seems a little far-fetched to me. But whatever, it’s a TV show.

Phil and Claire have an early res, so they of course end up eating dinner around a bunch of old people. An elderly man on a motorized scooter even runs into Claire and spills her wine! After Phil finds himself riding around Ibiza on the scooter, Claire decides they need to adopt their alter egos Clive and Juliana. I only started watching MODERN FAMILY this year, but I gathered this was a throwback to last season. They leave the restaurant and meet at a hotel bar where, naturally, Phil mixes up hotel keys, so while he’s creating a romantic hotel room environment — complete with rose petals on the bed — Claire is getting ready in the bathroom of a room five floors down. Loved the look on Phil’s face when the other woman walked into the room and he was covering himself up with the champagne bucket!

On the other hand, I feel like a lot of time was spent with the Dunphys this week and there wasn’t a big payoff. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I had seen last year’s Valentine’s episode (I’ll watch the first season soon, I promise!), but I didn’t love it tonight. From Clive and Juliana to the different hotel rooms to finally resigning from it all and going home, I just found this storyline boring and predictable.

Jay and Gloria also show up at the restaurant, just as you see Claire leaving in the background. Jay lies to Gloria and says his assistant messed up and didn’t make a reservation, when in reality, he’s made plans for a romantic catered dinner at home. He even paid the maitre d’ fifty bucks so he wouldn’t put them on the list, mentioning that Gloria is very persuasive. She sees a reservation for two for Pritchett on the list and prances on over to the table. But since all three couples have reservations at Ibiza, Cameron shows up and says that reservation is for himself and Mitchell and kicks them out. Back at home, they walk in and Jay’s setup is not there! Gloria storms out to the garage and, surprise! – She had figured out what Jay had been planning and now wins Valentine’s Day!

I enjoyed this storyline better than Claire and Phil’s. Anytime Sofia Vergara gets to be mad in her over-the-top accent, it’s gold for me. And the way she surprised Jay with dinner and a motorcycle? So sweet! (And the delivery of the “and I bought you a motorcycle” line as a casual aside was perfect!)

In Cameron and Mitchell land, Cameron is convinced Mitchell’s assistant Broderick has a crush on his man. After going up to Mitchell’s firm to talk to Broderick about not delivering the flowers he sent, Broderick breaks down and hugs Cameron in the elevator, saying how hard it is to see other people being happy on Valentine’s Day, something he desperately wants. Cameron then thinks Broderick has a crush on him. They even flash back to Cameron visiting Mitchell in the office while wearing his bike shorts — something we did not need to see again! While at dinner, Cameron decides they need to go see Broderick in person to find out who he has a crush on… despite Mitchell sarcastically saying, “why don’t we just go to his house and stand on opposite sides of the room and see which one he runs to?” As they pull up, Mitchell gets a text from Broderick resigning from his job. They decide to just treasure each other like Broderick said, while both actually still thinking they are the one he has a crush on.

After this two-week hiatus, I missed new antics from Cam and Mitch the most. I’ve said it before, but they are some of my favorite characters on television. I love the relationship they have with each other and how real it is while still managing to not be over-the-top with the wit and one-liners. All that said, I was kind of disappointed this week because I feel like we didn’t get a lot of time with the two of them. I feel like Claire and Phil were the center of the episode, and while I realize not every episode can be “The Cameron and Mitchell Show,” I wish we could have spent more time with them, especially on Valentine’s Day.

As for the kids, they are all left at Phil and Claire’s house. Haley is sad because her new boyfriend David blew her off to study and her old boyfriend Dylan is out of the picture and Manny tries to cheer her up. I mention the kids for two reasons – 1) Did anyone else find Manny’s crush on Haley to be extremely creepy? I mean, he’s technically her step-uncle! Let’s not go there, writers. And 2) I thought it was sweet that Dylan set up a whole band on the Dunphy’s yard to sing to Haley after she broke up with David. Dylan may be a doofus, but he’s a sweet doofus.

Now for some favorite lines!
• Cameron – “Sooooo? So? Huh, so?
Mitchell – “What’s happening?
Cameron – “ The flowers?”
Mitchell – “Is someone pointing a gun at you?”

• Cameron, complete with Donald Trump hand jab that I didn’t catch until my second viewing – “I think the only prudent thing to do is say ‘you’re fired’.”

• Claire – “I know Phil and I are going to grow old together someday. But today is not that day.”

• Jay – “We walk in the door and bam! She looks like a big idiot! Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?”

• Haley – “I’m not saying I miss Dylan, but at least he was romantic. David never sent me a jar of his own tears.”

• Cameron, muttering the second line to Broderick under his breath – “Well aren’t you a dear? I’d like to mount your head in my trophy room.”

• Claire as Juliana – “So you could say you’re a national man of mystery.”

• Phil as Clive, a few lines after Claire’s above line – “Surprising, you know, because I’m usually good at catching things from women in bars.”

• Jay – “Five course dinner waiting at home and she’s strapping on the feed bag at Ibiza. But then an angel from heaven saved the night. A big gay angel.”

• Mitchell – “Well pick out china and move to Vermont.”

• Gloria – “I wiiin!”…and a few lines later – “Shut up, I win.”

So what did y’all think of “Bixby’s Back”? Did you love Cameron and Mitchell’s sweet kiss in the car, especially after so much fuss has been made in the past about them not showing affection? Do you want Dylan to sing you a terrible, but on the other hand sweet, Valentine’s song? What were some of your favorite lines/moments I may have missed? Let me know below!