24 Recap: 1:00 – 2:00pm, 2:00 – 3:00pm

Title: “1:00 – 2:00pm, 2:00 – 3:00pm”
Original Airdate: 2/12/07
GMMR Recapper: LaLa

Wow. Didn’t think it could be done, but spineless Mrs. Graem Bauer actually made Jack’s whiney girlfriend Audrey look good. No wonder he left Mrs. G all those years ago – the woman is a cowardly moron! I mean seriously, did she really think that if she just followed the instructions of Daddy Bauer – a man who just admitted to killing his own son, i.e. her late husband, and was now threatening to kill her young son – that he was really going to let her and her son live?? And that everything would be fine, and no one would get hurt?? Of course not, woman!! The man is a murderer and an admitted liar!! Not only that, but you are sitting next to Jack Bauer and many other highly trained government Special Op Forces – HELLO! – you tell them, and trust that they will do a crafty sneak attack on your evil Father-in-law! I mean, seriously! I’m just glad that one mother on this show, i.e. the suburban mother of Michael Angarano’s character in the first few episodes of the season, had the brains to realize that you do NOT trust murderers and terrorists who are holding your kids hostage to actually keep their word and NOT kill your kid once you’ve followed their orders. Well, at least it looks like Jack puts the smack-down on Mrs. G in next week’s episode; she may be innocent of her husband’s crimes, but she sure is stupid! Here’s hoping Jack is able to overcome said stupidity and get to newly revealed Fayed co-partner, i.e. extreme Russian nationalist Gredenko, before evil Daddy Bauer does.

In other 24 news, Chief Weasel of Staff Tom and his incredibly-not-so innocent assistant Chad Lowe (who is actually in league with Daddy Bauer!) are far worse human beings than we initially thought. I mean, is quick, “definitive action” to get rid of the President really what I think it is, i.e. assassination?! Yeah, I think it is! Man, what is with the Palmer men being targets for assassins? And furthermore, what’s with the Palmer men hiring weaselly Chiefs of Staff who have no faith in them and try to remove them from office?? Yeah, Mike Novick might have redeemed himself last season, but let’s not forget that he was largely responsible for briefly removing David Palmer from office in Season 2 because he was convinced that Palmer was “unfit” for office. I sure hope Wayne listens to perceptive Assad and watches his back from now on. The guy is improving every week by making the right choices, and his little monologue to convince Assad to make a T.V. speech asking for peace was very strong and persuasive. Here’s hoping that yet another U.S. President doesn’t die on this show. And also,

Speaking of dying, I cheered when the cliché hot blond chick shot evil Darren McCarthy, seemingly from Morris’ moral plea to her. Unfortunately, she turned out to be just as cliché a character as I initially thought when she decided to take Morris to Fayed and claim the money for herself. Boy, did she ever deserve to be shot by Fayed. And poor, poor Morris. I really thought he was going to be able to do the heroic, right thing and be tortured to death rather than arm the nukes for Fayed, but I guess getting holes drilled into your body by a power tool were just too much to bear for the poor guy. Yeesh. 24 sure is inventive with the whole torture thing! And of course, Jack and his team finally finally got to Fayed’s apartment to rescue Morris just in the nick of time – but not before he armed the nukes and Fayed escaped through the wall, of course. Because let’s face it: we’re only into hour 9 of 24, and if Jack’s crew were actually on time like they should have been to catch Fayed, the season would basically be over. Ah well, it’s 24: you just have to accept certain things like that, and go with it.

Final note: How sweet was Jack’s little in-person reunion with Chloe? I’m really glad that Jack is finally treating our girl Chloe more tenderly and gratefully than he did in the past. I mean, the girl may not be gorgeous like his girlfriends, but she is the most loyal, devoted companion he’s ever had – far more so than MIA Audrey – and she’s also saved his life countless times. So it’s about time he fully appreciated her, and gave her the respect she deserves!

LaLa is a writer who currently resides in LaLa Land, aka Los Angeles. LaLa also likes to sing. LaLa also knows some lawyers in a law office. LaLa is also prone to making bad jokes, like this one. And of course, LaLa also loves her some quality television shows with quality actors on them, like House… and The Office… and 24… and, well, pretty much any smartly written show that doesn’t include a fat guy with a hot skinny wife or the words “two and a half men” in the title.

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