Gilmore Girls Recap: I’m a Kayak Hear Me Roar

(GMMR’s Tuesday night randomness) Whirl’s weekly Gilmore Girls recap is coming below. I’m watching the show right now and I just wanted to declare that I love Sean Gunn. If I were running The CW, I would have Gunn’s character Kirk be a staple in every show. He just makes me smile with his absurdity. I wish Gilmore Girls would use him a little more. Just wanted to post it, well…because I was thinking it.

Title: “I’m a Kayak Hear Me Roar”
Original Airdate: February 20, 2007
GMMR Recapper: Whirl

I don’t know about you guys but I have been looking forward to this episode. Why? I’m thinking less Chris story line has got to mean more Luke story line. And where there is Luke there is a happy Whirl. So lets get to it shall we.

Lorelai is outside Rory’s apartment knocking on the door. Paris tells her to come in, so the door with 17 locks on it is left unlocked. I think Paris and I need to have a safety talk. Lorelai apologizes for showing up so early, but it’s no problem because Doyle and Paris are in the middle of their morning Yoga. You can’t believe it? Neither does Paris. She took a class so she could spout new age crap during medical school interviews but it turns out she likes it. Go figure. Lor heads to her daughter’s room surprised that Rory is up given that it’s 6am. Mommy herself has been up for a few hours already, driving around and she wants Rory to go for a drive with her, so she dutifully follows.

So they’re driving in the middle of nowhere and Lor finally spills about her and Chris splitting up the night before. Rory doesn’t seem shocked (maybe she watches The CW?) and says she’s sorry but admits that it never felt right to her. Agreed. Lor promises that her Dad will always be her Dad and that he’ll still be in their lives. I have never been so happy that Chris is a non-existent Dad before in my whole life. Nobody else knows yet and Lor is not looking forward to telling Emily, but before we can get to that the Jeep breaks down. They are out of gas. In the rush to leave no one took their cell phones so they decide to walk to the nearest gas station. Once again Lorelai and Rory are on their own, its the Gilmore Girls just how I like it.

The girls show up for Friday night dinner and meet the newest maid, whose skittish and her lips move but no sound comes out. It’s all very amusing but I just can’t stop staring at the weird blue smock dress thingy Lorelai is wearing. It makes her shoulders look huge and her head look tiny. Oh why Lor? Why? They find Emily and Lor’s concerned that Richard might not be up for the company, but her mother assures her that the doctor said he is fine but to take it easy. Emily wonders if Chris is coming to dinner but Lor covers, saying he couldn’t make it. Still waiting for Richard to come down from his room Emily offers drinks but it turns out they have no alcohol since Richard isn’t allowed to booze it up. They are offered Shirley Temples or Roy Roger’s. I love Shirley Temples, but I take mine with rum and do a few tap steps as I drink it. It’s a great party starter. A nurse comes downstairs to let Emily know Richard is watching golf and he’ll head down when he’s ready. He finally graces him them with his presence but refuses to change out of his pajamas and he wants dinner right away. Men, they can be such babies when they’re sick.

Dinner is fish again and Richard is very impressed. Actually his passively aggressively pissed about it. Emily keeps trying to blow it over and the Girls are trying to act natural. I’ve missed these unhappy family dinners. They start talking about Chris’s absence and then the wedding party that is being thrown; they’re serving Cornish game hens. Once Richard hears his hen will be served skinless he gets crankier, and leaves dinner to go watch his golf game since he doesn’t want to miss the “famous put”. Seems it’s repeat of a game from ‘69, a “classic” if you will. I like mini golf but I highly doubt I’d watch repeats of it on TV. He leaves and Emily follows after him, furious that he would leave them like that. Once alone Rory points out that Lor might want to let her mother in on Chris break up, since the party planning is in full swing. But with Richard’s heart attack and Emily not drinking Lor can’t imagine it going well.

Rory’s heading to Logan’s bed (oh how I wish I was her) laden up with a tray of goodie’s. It’s Logan’s birthday and she made him breakfast, but he just wants to check his email. Growing up his birthdays weren’t a big deal because his family only celebrates the things you achieve. Ouch. Rory promises to make this birthday a special one, complete with all the Gilmore hoopla a birthday should have. I don’t know about you but I’m all for celebrating the day Logan entered the world. In the meantime his big Internet company deal is complete and he’s checking his email to look at the press release, because his Dad is going to find out about it when the rest of the world does.

At Lorelai’s house she greets the morning with a call from her mother. Seems the maid is hiding, the nurse is sick of being treated like a maid and Emily is about ready to lose her mind. She doesn’t ask but tells her daughter to go pick up Richard’s medication since the pharmacy doesn’t deliver and Emily can’t leave the house or it will fall apart. Then she hangs up not even giving Lor the ability to agree.

At Luke’s Diner Babette and Miss Patty are gossiping about Chris and Lorelai, using the code names “Beagle” and “Hen”. They are certain “Beagle” has moved out but they aren’t sure who did the actual breaking up. Poor “Hen” but “Beagles” belong with “Beagles” and Miss Patty believes the “Hen” belongs with the “Rooster” aka Luke. Best Code Name EVER! Seems Luke knows about the break up as he over heard some gossip but he gave no reaction so the ladies aren’t sure how he feels about it. Miss Patty wants them back together but Babette thinks maybe the “Hen” belongs with someone else, like maybe a “Penguin” or an “Ostrich”. Kirk, who has been sitting silently behind them this whole time, feels he needs to interject into their “perverse conversation”. I mean seriously, how could a “Hen” and an “Ostrich” biologically mate, not to mention the moral issues involved. How could one expect her to lay those eggs? Babette and Miss Patty just roll their eyes but I laughed so hard I shed a few tears. Note to the Writers: More Kirk. Now. Preferably with an Ostrich.

Liz, TJ and Doula march into the diner with luggage and an excuse of wanting to keep Luke company, especially with April being in New Mexico. He insists that he’s not lonely but they wont take no for an answer, especially since their house has become infested with moths. Luke lets them stay because he’s wonderful. And sexy. And single. And HELLO LORELAI WHERE ARE YOU?

Back at maison Gilmore Emily and Richard are eating in silence that is until Richard starts complaining and yells for the chef. The chef and Richard start getting into it and the doorbell starts ringing so Emily yells for someone to get it. When no one does she gets it herself, and it’s Lorelai. The chef quits, Richard goes to watch golf and Emily starts complaining. The maid is hiding, the nurse isn’t helpful, Richard is being a terror and his accountant keeps calling about some tax thing but Richard won’t call them back. Lor makes her mother sit and promises to take care of everything.

Sookie shows up at the house complete with food that is healthy AND looks like it tastes good. Rory calls her Mom wanting to know what they did for her 12th birthday, since she’s recreating her favorite birthday memories for Logan. Logan calls on the other line to let Rory know that his Dad wants to take them out for dinner. They don’t have to do it but Rory says they’ll do the Gilmore hoopla after the dinner. You just know that’s all going to be a great time.

Luke’s place is over run with baby stuff and Liz is making jewelry with Luke’s fishing wire and tackle. Odd but I’m sure someone might wear it. Through out their conversation it comes out that Luke went to the hospital when Lorelai’s Dad got sick and that he overheard she broke up with Christopher. He promises they are just friends, which makes TJ relieved since he thinks Lor is just drama. Liz says he should call her but TJ insists that he shouldn’t. Please call her Luke!

Rory and Logan show up at a fancy restaurant where Mitch is waiting. They drink champagne, make small talk and Logan’s dad is acting so very nice. It’s scaring me. Good Ol’ Mitch asks Rory if she’s still interested in journalism so she straightens up her back and tells him she is. He starts chatting her up and says the field could use someone “bright and talented” like her. Rory looks confused but Logan is all smiles.

Looks like Lor has most things handles while Emily is lost trying to find a list of things Richard’s accountant asked for. Lor offers to help but Emily doesn’t see how she possibly could. Lor points out she owns a successful business and that she went to business school, hell she even helped her Dad set up his business. Lorelai goes into the computer and finds all the information needed, amazing Emily, so she pulls out the hidden alcohol. Very nice indeed. After taking a swig Lor blurts out that she and Chris broke up. Surprisingly Emily takes it well, saying nothing other then “Okay. I hardly know what to say” and gives her daughter a half smile.

Back at the fancy restaurant Logan gets up from the table to answer a business call, which leaves poor Rory and his Dad alone. Mitch tells Rory that Logan is doing great, and that he owes all the credit to Rory. Rory doesn’t agree, but he insists that she has become a real asset to the family. Oh she has has she? He knows they’ve had their differences in the past but he hopes they can move past that to plan Logan’s next move together. She thinks it’s up to Logan but Mr. Money Bags points out how they can help Rory next since they own all these amazing newspapers and all. She points out he thought she didn’t have what it takes to make it in journalism but he brushes it off, insisting that things change.

It’s late at Luke’s and the poor guy is trying to sleep. So too bad for him that Doula is crying on the other side of the room. TJ gets up to comfort his daughter and him and Liz get to talking. Liz is worried that Luke is lonely and love sick over Lorelai. TJ thinks he’s better off alone but Liz thinks they belong together. Luke hears it all and just stares up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

Emily and Lorelai are getting along and possibly drunk as daughter shows mother how to use Richards accounting program. Emily’s worried since Richard won’t be around forever and all these things are his job. Emily thinks life is like a canoe, and she has one paddle and Richard has the other. Lately she’s been paddling all on her own, going around in circles. But Lorelai, well Emily thinks Lorelai is a kayak, since it has that double paddle thingy. She’s independent and knows how to take care of herself. Emily only knows how to be a wife but Lor knows how to be more, so it’s okay that her marriage didn’t work out. She rubs her daughters shoulder, tells her she’s going to be fine and that she might even marry someone else one day. It’s just so sweet, it makes me want to find my Mommy and give her a big hug.

Back at Logan’s apartment Rory tells her man everything that happened with Mitch, what he said and how he acted like Rory agreed with him. She promises she doesn’t and she’s proud of what Logan achieved on his own. Logan says not to worry since that’s just what his Dad does, such an understanding boyfriend that one. They decide to go ice-skating so while Rory runs to get ready Logan takes another call on his cell. It’s bad news, they’re getting sued. Sued someone who claims to have first developed the technology used by the company Logan bought. If true the company is worthless. Not only that but he could lose a lot more money in the process. NO!!!! Logan hangs up the phone and never lets on to Rory what’s happening, happily playing along as they head out the door. I’m betting they’re going to make Logan poor, which is fine by me because the boy is still hot to trot.

Luke gets home and his house guests have made a mess. Good thing is the moths are gone so they’re heading home, as in right that minute. Thankful for the quiet Luke sits down and stares at his phone. CALL HER!

Emily is having coffee when a cheery yet hung over Lorelai enters the dinning room. Lor asks her Mom what she’s up to that day and ice cold Emily lists of her to do list mentioning all the cancellations she has to make on behalf of the wedding party. She already canceled the reception, and they’ll only be getting 60% of their deposit back but its better then nothing. Lor tries to make a hasty exit but not before her mother thanks her for her help, but I think she was really saying is “I hate that you are everything I don’t know how to be”. At least, that’s what I got out of it. Disappointed Lorelai walks away.

Tune In Next Week: Rory is throwing a baby shower for Lane, but it looks like the babies aren’t willing to wait till the things over before making their appearance. Chaos ensues!

Being born and raised amongst the igloos of Canada shaped Whirl’s love of hockey, beer and the warmth of the television screen. Though she refuses to wear spandex she has sworn to use her powers of sarcasm for the greater good of man kind, and disguises herself daily as a mild mannered office clerk. Oh yeah, and she’s not too bad at Trivial Pursuit. Seriously. Seriously.

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