Prison Break Recap: Fin del Camino

Michelle really outdoes herself with this week’s recap. I was laughing my ass off. Well played. Only one more week until the season finale. Ugh, I really hate this time of year.

Title: “Fin del Camino”
Original Airdate: March 26, 2007
GMMR Recapper: Michelle

Would you be impressed if I were able to write the entire recap for this episode all in the form of a series of questions? Isn’t it a rather appropriate tribute for a show that has left us guessing, in a good way, for every episode this season? Do you think I can do it? Will you be too annoyed by the format to read it? Can I allow this negative assumption to get in the way of my creative process?

Why is T-Bag in Panama? Why won’t Michael’s conscience let him rest so he doesn’t feel the need to leave his boat and his brother on a quest for T-Bag? Doesn’t Lincoln know that if he follows his brother, bad things are bound to happen? When Michael tracks T-Bag to the hotel, how much does he have to pay the little kid to set off the caps in the metal garbage can so he can fake out the “Feds” who are trailing T-Bag and make them reveal their guns when they mistake the exploding cap sounds for gunshots? Does Sucre, who shows up later with Bellick and meets Michael, really believe that his desire to kill Bellick is stronger than his desire to find Maricruz, or that Upstanding Citizen Michael will really help him kill Bellick? What will T-Bag do when he is forced to leave his hotel room after Bellick pulls the fire alarm? When the Feds follow T-Bag, and Michael & Crew follow the feds, and Mahone follows all of them, and then Lincoln follows all of them, why does it remind me of some nursery school song? What is the name of that song, anyway? Why does an angry Lincoln tackle Mahone? Did you forget, like I did, that Mahone killed Lincoln’s dad earlier this season? Is this like “You killed my father, prepare to die,” a la “The Princess Bride”? Is Lincoln’s real last name Montoya? (GMMR: OMG I was thinking the exact same thing during this scene)

Are you surprised that Bellick is able to devise an engaging enough ruse to distract those so-called Feds so that Sucre and Michael can pull a gun on them and tie them up to get them out of the way? Would you be surprised to know that they’re not Feds at all and probably work for The Company? Why, when he gets into the abandoned building in pursuit of T-Bag, does dumb Bellick bellow, “We know you’re in here, Bagwell!” When hunting a wily prison escapee, wouldn’t stealth be a better tactic than announcing your arrival to him? Who knew that T-Bag was thinking ahead and actually planned the whole rendezvous ahead of time and had a dead hooker waiting in the closet, and that he called the cops himself so that he could frame Bellick, Michael and Sucre? Didn’t T-Bag already frame Bellick earlier this year for the other prison guard’s murder? Does it speak to my naiveté that this trick works for me, even the second time? How does T-Bag escape again? Are you upset to see Bellick captured by the authorities in Panama, who think he must be responsible for the dead hooker? Are you rooting for Michael and Sucre to catch up with T-Bag? Are you surprised that Sucre hotwires another car for them to drive? When Michael and Sucre are driving away to turn in T-Bag, where are their heads? Have they never ridden in a car with a rambunctious toddler who likes to grab things? Don’t they realize that you have to keep EVERYTHING out of said person’s reach, even if he’s wearing proper seat belt restraints, because he will grab anything he can and use it for a weapon, even if you don’t believe that an item can be used as a weapon? How bad does it hurt to get stabbed with a screwdriver like Sucre gets stabbed by T-Bag? When the car runs off the road and T-Bag runs off again with the money, is it difficult for Michael to decide between staying with his bleeding friend or take off after slimy T-Bag? What would you do? Would you think less of Michael if I told you he runs after T-Bag and chases him into an abandoned house? Does T-Bag really threaten to kill AND rape Michael as they begin their showdown? And what would T-Bag do first, kill him or rape him? Is a pinned T-Bag correct when he tells Michael that Michael could never kill a man? If so, why does Michael stab him? Does he really stab him? Haven’t they used this cut-away, did-he-really-do-it gag before? Is it comic irony that Michael stabs him in his remaining good arm and that T-Bag remains pinned to the floor until the authorities arrive?

When he returns to the boat, does Michael really think that Linc just stayed on the boat the whole time and waited for him? Has he underestimated Mahone’s desire to escape himself and start a new life with his son an ex-wife? Is it wrong of Mahone to call Michael and demand that Michael share T-Bag’s re-stolen $5 million with him if he wants him to release the re-captured Linc, whom he has chained to a pipe?

Do you love Kellerman as much as I do? Do you really think he’s going to shoot himself after he polishes all of his medals and puts on his Ranger uniform, complete with beret, in the hotel room? Doesn’t he look cute in that uniform? Can you believe he’s spent a good portion of his adult life as a government-sanctioned paid killer? Are you glad his gun jams and he calls his sister? Do you believe her when his sister tells him that there’s always a way to undo bad things? Didn’t we hear a version of that before earlier this year, when Michael told Sara that he had a plan to make all of this right? Has that plan come to fruition yet? But do you think Kellerman really IS a Sensi, like he played in “Scrubs,” since he does cry a lot in this episode? Do you want to hug him? How can he make all of this right?

How is Sara going to get out of her mess now that she’s on trial? Isn’t the actress who plays Sara beautiful in her close-ups? Would they really give her 12 years in a maximum security prison for helping Michael? Can’t they appreciate true love? Don’t they care that the actress is pregnant, and that can’t bode well in a women’s prison? Isn’t it great when KELLERMAN WALKS INTO THE COURTROOM TO TESTIFY ON HER BEHALF AS A VERY CREDIBLE WITNESS? Does this mean she’ll go free?
Do you realize that the Season Finale is next week? What are they going to do in the now-greenlighted Season 3?

Michelle is the frazzled mother of two very young kids. In lieu of taking a shower every day, she writes TV recaps for GMMR to keep the remaining shred of her sanity intact. This also helps her justify her insanely intense TV-watching habit, which was spawned in her early childhood because she was allowed to watch an unlimited number of”Sesame Street” episodes when she herself was a preschooler.

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