RINGER Recap: ‘The Poor Kids Do It Everyday’

Jason Dohring is on RINGER!!!

OK, with that out of the way, I’m going to say that Monday’s episode of RINGER is the show’s best yet, and it’s mainly for three reasons:

• Jason Dohring, obviously.
• We heard, “You’ve reached Gemma. Don’t be boring,” at least three times. The irony made me laugh every time.
• Gemma may actually be gone.

Of course, there are other reasons why this week’s RINGER was so good, so we will get to those below.

We pick up where last week left off, as we see Bridget awkwardly tucking Juliet into bed. Andrew comes home after he went to Gemma and Henry’s place, and he tells Bridget about Gemma’s strange phone call and Henry’s odd behavior.

Bridget, worried that Gemma is going to tell Andrew everything, calls her and leaves a voicemail (hilarious). Bridget says that she thought they had come to an understanding and she meant what she said about wanting to be a better friend than Siobhan was. (Like that’s hard to do.) I can’t decide the worst thing Siobhan has done to Bridget: Leaving her in the hands of a hit man or leaving her to be friends with Gemma. Decisions, decisions…

The next day, Juliet is off to her first day of public school. It’s not exactly a picture worthy moment, as Andrew complains about Juliet’s lack of clothing and Juliet makes sure to give Siobhan her stash before she leaves. Kids these days!

Meanwhile, Henry is cleaning the blood stains on the wall in what has to be the strangest sequence yet on this show. Stop trying to be artsy, RINGER – you’re on the CW, not AMC. After he’s done cleaning, he throws away the evidence in some random trash bin in an alley, and he drops off Gemma’s car at JFK Airport. This doesn’t make him look guilty in the least.

Speaking of throwing things away, Bridget is about to throw Juliet’s drugs away, but she can’t do it. She calls cute NA guy, Charlie, and asks if they can meet. After hanging up, Bridget gets a visit from one of Gemma’s employees, Maddie. Maddie gives Bridget the keys to the loft, and she asks if Bridget’s seen Gemma. Gemma apparently hasn’t shown up to work, and she’s not answering her phone. Uh oh (or yay, if you’re me).

Juliet has just arrived to school, and she’s already getting into fights. Some Ke$ha wannabe hits up Juliet for money, and after giving it to her, Juliet says, “Now your whole family can eat for a week.” This does not sit well with Ke$ha 2.0, so she throws Juliet into a locker. I love this part because 1. Juliet gets thrown into a locker — you have to admit she had it coming; and 2. I like seeing Juliet turn her bitchiness into a force for good. Jason Dohring (aka Mr. Carpenter, aka hottest teacher ever) breaks up the fight, and Juliet is sent to the principal’s office.

Bridget goes to see Henry, who accuses Bridget of hurting Gemma. It’s at this moment my roommate and I said, “Oh no, you did not just try to pull that.” He’s pretty persistent, even grabbing Bridget by the shoulders and yelling, “Stop lying to me, Siobhan!” Yeah, like he’s not a killer.

But it turns out Henry may not actually be the killer — just a scumbag. He says he thought Siobhan killed Gemma, and because he still loves Siobhan and all that, he is covering up for her. It turns out that eight months earlier, Siobhan “joked” about killing Andrew and Gemma, so Henry has a pretty good reason to think she actually did it. Bridget denies she had anything to do with Gemma and leaves.

They aren’t apart for long, though, because once Bridget gets home, Henry’s there. (Really, Henry, you’re not doing yourself any favors by being so creepy.) He tells Bridget he believes her. He also says he would never hurt the mother of his children (who apparently don’t exist because they’re never around), but he can’t go to the police because the day before, he started divorce proceedings. The police will be suspicious, and once they find out about his affair with Siobhan, he and Bridget will be in a lot of trouble.

Bridget leaves to meet with Charlie. Charlie quickly throws away the bag of drugs (and makes a pun in the process — love him!) and says it was good that Bridget asked for help. The more Charlie and less Gemma, the better RINGER gets, no? After meeting, Charlie calls Bridget to check on her, and she asks if he can be her sponsor because Malcolm is not exactly available at the moment. He agrees, but only if they meet regularly instead of just whenever Bridget needs him (Bridget must be the It Girl in NA because all these guys want her).

In the principal’s office, the principal tells Juliet that she’s been accused by everyone of starting the fight. Juliet makes the valid point that no one knows her, so no one is going to stick up for her. The principal pulls out Juliet’s permanent record (these only exist in the TV world, it seems), which reveals that Juliet’s been in fights before, so pretty much no one’s going to believe her. Andrew doesn’t even believe Juliet when he comes into the office.

As Juliet’s waiting for Andrew and the principal to finish meeting, Mr. Carpenter sees her and says he understands how it feels to be the new kid since his family moved a lot when he was younger. She tells him that Tessa/Ke$ha started the fight, and while she had thought she could make a fresh start, it turns out she couldn’t.

Andrew and the principal step out of the office, and Mr. Carpenter comes to Juliet’s defense, saying that he saw Tessa start the fight. He later tells Juliet that he stood up for her because he knows what kind of student Tessa is (not exactly fair, but I’ll look past it because he’s so pretty), and he thinks everyone deserves a fresh start (everyone except Tessa).

As for the big plot of the night, Bridget calls Henry and asks where he dumped the evidence from the crime scene. She goes to the dumpster and finds the bag. She then calls the police and leaves an anonymous tip, saying she thinks someone hurt Gemma. She also tells them where they can find the bag.

Detectives quickly show up to Henry’s apartment and ask to speak to him. Henry plays dumb and pretends to not know anything about Gemma’s possible disappearance. They ask him to come to the precinct, where they show him pictures of the evidence found in the bag. He says he still doesn’t know what’s going on, and after the police are pulled aside and given some information, they let him go.

When Bridget gets home from her busy day, Andrew tells her that Gemma’s missing. He says the police suspect foul play, so I guess Henry’s off the hook. Andrew then comforts Bridget because he’s the sweetest husband ever. (Why did Siobhan ever want to leave him?!)

One of the detectives then calls Victor and tells him they found Bridget’s fingerprints on the evidence. It turns out Bridget, when going through the bag of evidence, purposely put her fingerprints all over it. Victor calls Bridget and tells her about the fingerprints, adding that he’s sure he’ll be seeing her real soon.

In the final scene, we see Siobhan, who’s still in Paris doing who knows what (or whom, for that matter). She gets a phone call, and the person on the other end (I’m guessing the creepy guy who wanted the mysterious cell phone a few weeks ago) says, “The Gemma problem has been taken care of.” Siobhan replies, “I didn’t want it to come to this.” I sure did, and I for one am happy that Gemma’s gone. Not only does it get rid of a really annoying character, but it also adds more suspense to the show. I will miss her voicemail, though…

A few other notable things…

• Malcolm update: Victor was in Wyoming this week to look into Malcolm’s disappearance. He actually does some fine police work and suspects Macawi is involved. He goes to talk to Macawi at (where else?) the strip club, but Macawi says Victor needs to come back with a warrant. Victor does, but, of course, Macawi has moved Malcolm, so Victor doesn’t find him. Way to ruin everything, Victor. Malcolm was still being tortured this week, and he finally said that he would tell Macawi everything they want to know about Bridget. Whether or not this will happen remains to be seen.
• Did I mention that I’m glad Gemma’s gone? Because I am!
• Dear RINGER creators: Please, please, please do not start a student-teacher affair plot between Juliet and Mr. Carpenter. You and Jason Dohring are so much better than that.
• I like the dynamic between Victor and Macawi. It ended this week with a creepy stare-off, and I’d rather see them go after each other rather than Victor and Bridget.
• Why did Bridget put her fingerprints on the evidence? I’m guessing to get the detectives’ suspicion away from Henry, so they won’t find out about the affair. Maybe Bridget will also get them to believe that Bridget is on the run after hurting Gemma, so there’s no way she would be in New York City.
• No new episode until Nov. 1! So sad.

What did you think of this week’s RINGER? Are you glad Jason Dohring has finally arrived? Is there even a point in me asking this question?