RINGER Recap: ‘That Woman’s Never Been a Victim Her Entire Life’

Once again, RINGER disappointed this week. I’m not really sure if I should be expecting more than this for the rest of the season, but I still have hope … kind of.

Why am I so sad? Not only did Andrew live, but the episode almost made us believe Malcolm was dead. Of course, he’s not (yet). Needless to say, it was a night of dashed dreams in my house.

Also, for an episode where there were some slightly interesting developments, a lot of it felt like a recap of everything that’s happened. I don’t really like these characters when they aren’t rehashing everything, so when they are, the hour comes close to becoming nap time.

Let’s get down to it, shall we?

When the episode begins, Andrew is still bleeding in the apartment, with the bullet having possibly hit an artery, and everyone is freaking out.

Victor goes after the shooter, who is running down the fire escape. Because it’s Victor, the shooter of course gets away. Before he does, though, a tarot card that says “The Tower” falls out of his back pocket. What could it mean?! In reality, nothing, but not in the RINGER-verse!

Anyway, Bridget and Juliet go to the hospital to wait while Andrew’s in surgery. They’re crying and mascara is running down their faces, so everyone knows they’re sad.

Juliet calls Henry to tell him the news and ask her to bring some of Andrew’s things to the hospital. Henry is shocked, and even Siobhan seems surprised, so I’m guessing she isn’t behind this attack.

At the police station, Victor is overanalyzing the tarot card. He really needs friends or a hobby. He tells a fellow detective that “The Tower” has numerous meanings in different countries, including dualism. Ding ding ding! Get it? Dual, as in two?!

He’s still contemplating the card when he’s told that the Martin&Charles case is for some reason being put on the backburner, which does not make him happy. It sounds as though someone in the station caused this to happen, so pretty much everyone’s corrupted and Victor’s screwed.

Back at the hospital, even though the bullet was close to Andrew’s artery and fragmented, he’s perfectly fine! It’s a miracle! No, really, how does this happen?

When Andrew wakes up, he and Bridget make up. Bridget then decides this would be the perfect time to tell him that a hitman had tried to kill her once before. Why would she tell this to someone who just had major surgery? Stupid.

Andrew wants to know why she didn’t tell him before now, and she says she was worried he may have been involved. He tells her he wasn’t behind it and didn’t mean it when he threatened her. Take note, ladies: When a guy threatens your life, he totally doesn’t mean it! Got that? OK.

Since they’re sharing secrets, Andrew says he offered Malcolm money to keep quiet about the business. It was Olivia’s idea, he says, and Malcolm took the money. They then begin to suspect Olivia was behind Tyler’s murder (they really hadn’t thought of this before since she was the last person to see him?) and possibly Siobhan’s.

At Henry’s place, Henry blames Siobhan for the attack on Bridget. He says she put the first hit on Bridget and just tried to blame Andrew. He also calls her a liar and a sociopath, which I’m beginning to think is a pretty good diagnosis. Siobhan says she didn’t do it and everything she’s done has been for them and their children, but he kicks her out.

Andrew and Bridget want to find Olivia, so they get Solomon to look into it. As much as I hate every other character, I love Solomon. How cool is he? Can the show just please be about him?

Solomon smoothly breaks into Olivia’s apartment, which is really messy since she scrambled to leave town a couple of episodes ago. Solomon finds a series of numbers etched into a notepad (how hard was she pressing down on that pen?!), so he copies it because somehow he realizes it’s important.

Victor annoyingly shows up as Solomon is leaving, but Solomon is able to hide in the hallway outside the apartment. Victor notices the lock has been messed with and goes into the apartment, which gives Solomon a chance to get away.

Siobhan calls Henry and promises she didn’t hire a hitman. By the way, this is totally a normal phone conversation to have in the back of a cab. She adds that she loves him and is going to the hospital to tell Andrew the truth.

Victor goes to this dry cleaners, which randomly gives out tarot cards, to investigate. The woman at the front says they gave out the cards as coupons, but they stopped about a year ago. Victor asks when her boss, a man named Remy, will be there, but she says she doesn’t know.

Once he leaves, the woman calls Remy and tells him the card came in as well as Victor’s name. Luckily, Victor knows something is up and calls the other detective to tell him that the dry cleaners is hiding something.

Siobhan goes to see Andrew at the hospital, but Henry stops her before she can say anything. Henry pulls her into the hallway and says he thought she was just crying wolf. Siobhan says she just wants it to end, so they can be together. I have no idea what Siobhan is up to; this move is really not her style, and if the writers seriously meant it, then her character just became even more inconsistent. Henry convinces her to leave, so no beans are spilled. That would be a crazy day for Andrew, right?

In the meantime, Juliet is being forced to go live with Catherine for a while. Juliet asks Catherine if they can go to her school before they leave, so she can say goodbye to some people. (Please, like she has any friends.) Of course, Juliet runs away once she gets there, but they all think she’s been kidnapped.

Catherine and Andrew are arguing about who could’ve taken her, when Bridget realizes the series of numbers found in Olivia’s apartment is the address to Juliet’s school. Later, Bridget remembers that Juliet was packing warm clothes to go to Miami, so she figures that Olivia isn’t behind this. Sure enough, Bridget finds Juliet at the beach house and gets Juliet to tell her about the extortion plot.

Bridget takes Juliet and looks as though she’s about to tell Andrew everything, when they run into Victor. (They were home at this point, right? If so, good lord, Andrew heals quickly.) Victor tells them a body’s been found, which we were earlier led to believe could’ve been Malcolm’s since his ID was found near the body.

Of course it’s not Malcolm. Instead, the body was a lieutenant who worked for Bodaway. Victor thinks the lieutenant may have been the person who was after Siobhan, saying that Bodaway thinks Siobhan is Bridget because doesn’t know she has a twin sister. I have never wanted to smack some sense into Victor more than I did last night.

Victor ominously says Bodaway will come after Siobhan again, and the episode ends.

Other observations:

• It turns out Henry did kind of kill Tyler, even though it was by accident as they were fighting. Silly men and their scuffles over women. After Tyler died, Henry switched out the flash drives, which explains why Olivia and Andrew’s flash drive has wrong data on it.
• So what happened to the actual flash drive? Henry gave it to Gemma’s dad to convince him to withdraw his money from Martin&Charles. I don’t know what this will lead to, but I’m actually looking forward to how it will affect the investigation and/or Martin&Charles.
• Matching convertibles! Do people really talk like this? Nevermind, I’ve seen MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN.

What did you think of this week’s episode?