Battlestar Galactica: Cliffs Notes Version

Listen up because we need to talk. Come on now…focus. I promise you that once you read my little opening here I will let you go and you can continue looking for your Office gossip, Grey’s Anatomy news, or whatever else brought you to GMMR today. But I need your attention for just a minute to talk to you about Battlestar Galactica. Hey…hey…don’t leave. Just sit, this will just take a minute.

Now listen, I resisted Battlestar Galactica (BSG) for years. Despite critics and trusted TV addicts saying the show was the best of the best of TV, I still hesitated. Why? That’s easy – I HATE Sci Fi. A Star Wars geek, or Trekkie…yeah, SOOOO not me. But one fateful day last summer, I stumbled across “Battlestar Galactica: The Story So Far” (available for FREE on iTunes) which was a 45 minutes recap of the show to date, and let me tell you…I. Was. Hooked. I mean seriously hooked. BSG was so different than what I expected. It was deep and engaging and by the end of the show I was so engrossed with the story and characters that I stared recording every episode that aired. I gave it a shot and now I’m rewarded by some pretty amazing television. But most importantly BSG introduced me to the word “FRAK” – the profanity of the future. And my life just hasn’t been the same.

Hopefully by now you know that I wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction. BSG is worth the space on your TiVo and I’m just asking that you give it a shot.

To that end, our in-house BSG recapper, Jo, put together a little Cliffs Notes version of BSG for you newbies. Give it a read. At the very least it might help you better understand what the frak the people are talking about on The Office, Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars. This is just meant as an overview and it certainly won’t make you a BSG expert, but I’ve provided some links that will really helpful in letting you delve a bit deeper if you so wish.

Now I’m going to turn it over to Jo…
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If you’re like me, you don’t like jumping into the middle of a series. You don’t know the characters or anything about their pasts. But Battlestar Galactica needs you! It’s the sci fi show so based in reality it leaves your mind numb. And now it’s in danger of ending too soon! That’s where you come in.

So here are some cliff notes to let you get started until you can catch up on DVD or iTunes. Meanwhile tune in to Battlestar Galactica this Sunday at 10/9c on The Sci Fi Channel

BASIC PLOT
The Cylons were created by the people of the Twelve Colonies. Intelligent robots, they were used as slaves and soldiers to fight humanity’s wars. But the Cylons became sentient and they rebelled. The Cylons eventually disappeared but returned with a vengeance, and in an effort to wipe out humanity they nuked the planet Caprica. Only those on board starships were able to survive the blast. Now fewer than 50,000 people represent the remainder of the human race. The survivors, led by the Battlestar Galactica are caught in a perpetual cat and mouse game with the Cylons who are still bent of annihilating the human race.

The BSG survivors struggled with their dwindling food and water supplies, the perils of space travel and serious cabin fever. To keep the fleet from killing each other, Adama informed everyone there was a light at the end of the tunnel (so to speak)…the planet “Earth”, a mythical lost colony of humans.

On their journey to find Earth, they discovered another planet that could sustain human life. Adama and President Roslin didn’t want to stop for fear the Cylons would find them. The survivors, desperate to settle, elected Gaius Baltar president on his promise to build a home on New Caprica.

Fast forward to one year later and the Cylons have found and occupied New Caprica. Adama and those few who remained on Galatica escaped. Those who were settled on New Caprica now faced a desperate and bleak existence ruled by the Cylons. Adama and the Galatica crew executed an elaborate plan and successfully rescued the humans left behind on New Caprica.

With the fleet reunited, the humans and Cylons are in a race to interpret the ancient scriptures that lead to Earth.

Find out who’s who and go into the love lives of the BSGers after the jump

WHO’S WHO on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA:

Galactica– an aging warship or “battlestar”; the last military vessel in the known universe.

Cylons- created by humans as robotic workers and soldiers; later rebelled against humans and evolved into a complex society and took on various forms including some that are indistinguishable from humans; bent on total human annihilation; also looking for Earth but we’re not sure why. Twelve total models but we’ve only seen seven. Also known by the slang term “Toaster”.

The Fleet– the only humans that remained after the Cylons nuked Caprica (roughly 41,000 that we know about); they are running for their lives from the Cylons, desperately searching for the13th Colony known as Earth (but is Earth real or just a myth?)

Admiral William “Bill” Adama – military leader of the fleet, adoptive father figure to all, except his actual son, Lee. Deceased son Zach was engaged to Kara Thrace. (More on Admiral Adama)

Lee “Apollo” Adama– beautiful man candy pilot with serious daddy issues; loves Kara Thrace (Starbuck) but is married to Dualla. (More on Apollo)

Kara “Starbuck” Thrace– rebellious, outspoken, most skilled fighter pilot in the fleet; has some serious baggage and a very large chip on her shoulder; loves Lee Adama but is married to (although separated from) Samuel Anders. (More on Starbuck)

President Laura Roslin– soft spoken, tough as nails leader of the Fleet; imperfect but generally regarded as the moral compass; she feel she’s destined to lead the humans to the 13th colony of Earth; possibly (fingers crossed!!) falling in love with Bill Adama. (More on Laura)

Dr. Gaius Baltar– self serving, self righteous, traitor of mankind; former President of New Caprica who sold out his people to save his own ass; in “love” with Cylon Number Six; main ambition is to live another day. (More on Gaius)

Number Six– Cylon who nuked Caprica (the humans’ previous home); in love with Gaius Baltar; also appears frequently in Baltar’s imagination in a red dress. (More on Number Six)

Karl “Helo” Agathon– Galactica’s new 2nd in command and perpetuator of fair treatment for the Cylons; married a Cylon named Sharon; had a child named Hera, previously thought dead, now known to be alive. (More on Helo)

Sharon “Athena” Agathon- A Cylon that was assigned to infiltrate the humans and get pregnant to create the first Cylon-Human hybrid; fell in love with and had a baby with Helo; abandoned her Cylon race to become an officer in the Colonial Fleet; was informed that her baby had died after childbirth (More on Sharon)

Sharon/“Boomer” Valerii– Same Cylon model as Athena (meaning they look just alike); was originally a sleeper in the Fleet, almost murdered Bill Adama. (More on Boomer)

Hera Agathon – The sole member of the Cylon-Human race; taken at birth and put into hiding by Laura Roslin; during Galactica’s chaotic rescue of New Caprica, Hera’s adoptive mother and was killed and the baby was rescued by Gaius who turned the baby over to the Cylons

Saul Tigh– oldest friend of Adama, total alcoholic (and a mean one), also 2nd in command on Galactica; recently executed his wife, Ellen, for treason; lost his eye thanks to the Cylons; member of the insurgency against the Cylons while on New Caprica (More on Saul)

Anastasia “Dee” Dualla – works in the CIC (command center); knows pretty much everything about everything; married to Lee Adama. (More on Dee)

Samuel T. Anders– former professional athlete, led the Resistance on both Caprica and New Caprica in guerrilla warfare; married to but currently estranged from Kara Thrace.

Felix Gaeta- works in the CIC and could probably reassemble the entire battlestar faster than MacGuyver; formerly had a man crush on Baltar and was his right hand man during his Presidency; was branded a traitor after Galactica rescued New Caprica but was later exonerated when it was reveal that he provided intel for the Resistance. (More on Gaeta)

Galen “The Chief” Tyrol– Galactica’s deck chief and all around everyman; once in a relationship with Sharon but now is married to and has a baby with Cally (More on The Chief)

D’Anna Biers – A beautiful and confident member of the Cylon leadership, one of her copies gained unprecedented access to the Galactica’s officers and crew by posing as a Fleet News Service reporter producing a documentary about the military. Among the Cylons, her model is also known as Number Three. (More on D’Anna)

LOVE CONNECTIONS

It’s easy to be a shipper when you are on a ship (ok, that was a bad joke made by GMMR and NOT Jo). Here’s a little heads up on the love triangles, quadrangles, and man/machine love on BSG.

Lee/Kara/Dualla/Anders
Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace – this much we know because they shouted it out to the world minutes after they finally, finally got it on back on New Caprica. But back in the day, Kara was engaged to Lee’s brother, Zach, before he died. After some time, it was obvious that there was something between Kara and Lee, but neither really acted on it. Later Kara fell in love with her male equivalent, Anders, and married him the morning after sleeping with Lee. Lee responded by marrying Dualla. Dualla and Anders know that their spouses are sneaking around behind them. It’s such a universally known fact that even the Cylons are wondering when these two kids will work it out.

Helo/ 2 Sharons/The Chief/Cally
Helo had a coworker crush on Sharon (Boomer), who was dating The Chief. When Helo was voluntarily stranded on Caprica, he met another Sharon (Athena) whom he thought was “Boomer” not realizing that “Athena” was just Boomer’s clone. Sharon (Athena) and Helo fell in love. Helo learned the truth about Sharon being a Cylon and didn’t care.

On Galactica, Boomer broke up with the Chief and then shot Adama. Cally killed Boomer in revenge. The Chief still feels awkward around Athena but is okay now that he married Cally.

Adama/Roslin
Nothing official yet. Just a giant hope of this recapper. It’s a beautiful friendship that includes fights, laughs, doobies and a dance or two. You know those cute diamond ads where the old couple holds hands? Those jokers got nothing on these leaders of humanity.

Battlestar Galactica Resources and Links

If you are interested in watching BSG, you should definitely start with “The Story So Far” available for FREE on iTunes.

Battlestar Galactica Episode Recaps (Season 3)

Official BSG Website

BSG on Wikipedia (really great)

Jo works a boring job in a small Texas town and reserves the right to spell it “ya’ll”. One day she’ll be a novelist, but until then you can read her sarcastic thoughts about TV at http://brickstorm.blogspot.com.

Sources: Year’s of Jo watching BSG; BSG Official Website; BSG on Wikipedia