THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Season Finale

Tonight’s explosive and drama-filled finale kicks off with a tour of the Teresa’s new palace. There is a wine making room with a certain odor. Dead bodies, perhaps? I was hoping they would give an estimate as to how much that house costs. Because I definitely think people were harmed or killed to obtain money for that mansion. After the tour, Teresa mentions to Dina that she is planning a dinner party. She extends an invite to Danielle as well. Her reasoning: “Do I want to be friends with her? No, but I’m not a rude person.”

Jacqueline’s parents roll into town from Vegas in a massive RV. They seem pretty grounded and offer J some advice on how to deal with Ashley. In the end J and her husband cave, and present Ashley with a brand new car. First thing she wants to do? Drive it, right? Nope, go update her Facebook status that she got a new car.

Dina & Lexi say goodbye to Lexi’s childhood by throwing out approximately 200 stuffed animals and a drawer full of last season’s Halloween candy. And Dina says goodbye to her career so she can retire and become “just a housewife.” Judging from the classy t-word she uses instead of bubbies in front of Lexi, it’s looking like a promising lifestyle change!

And finally the dinner party. All families are present except for Dina & Caroline’s husbands.

Pre-dinner conversation revolves around Teresa’s new bubbies. Danielle arrives after everyone is sitting down. Neither team gives each other the warmest of receptions. But the dinner still seems to start off pretty safe. Appetizers are raw oysters accompanied by the standard raw oyster jokes.

Then Danielle throws down the gauntlet. She places a copy of “Cop Without a Badge” on the table, strategically “pointed at a 45 degree angle at Dina.” She is there with a clear mission: defend what is true in the book and accuse Dina of showing the book to other Franklin Lakes residents.

The ladies pull it together to kick the kids out and then the battle resumes.

Caroline, taking a cue from her German Shepherd guard dog steps in and fesses up that she was the one who showed the book in the local hair salon. Danielle (and me) still thinks it was Dina. Jacqueline admits that it was Dina who showed the book.

And in the middle of all the chaos it happens. The REAL Jersey girl steps up. Dina pushes Teresa a little too much, and Teresa turns into a possessed woman. She curses, yells and flips the table. Joe has to remove her from the situation and restrain her.

In the end, Jacqueline’s husband Chris shuts them all up and points out the ridiculous of it all. No wonder he hasn’t been allowed to say much else this season. He’s logical and sensible. No room for that in this series.

Here are the quick updates Bravo provides at the end. This is what the woman have been up to since taping has ended.

• Dina – housewife
• Danielle – looking for a soul mate
• Teresa – prego
• Jacqueline – prego
• Caroline – nothing (just like the rest of the season)

I’d be surprised if Bravo goes back for more New Jersey. They were able to make their point in one season.